Ending a relationship is always painful and leads to negativity or arguments. Even if you have lost interest in your partner and you no longer love him, it may still be difficult to move on as he was an integral part of your life. Add in the complications of seeing your ex start new relationships and the inevitable loss of mutual friendships, and it's not hard to see why breakups are avoided as much as possible. Here are some steps to manage this period of emotional stress.
Steps
Step 1. Don't pity yourself
Each step back is the opportunity to jump farther. Convince yourself that you can forget this person, because you will.
Make a list of all the reasons you deserve to be happy. This will help you not feel sorry for yourself. List friends, family, opportunities, general health. When you realize how much you have, you will immediately get better
Step 2. Get rid of whatever this person remembers
Photos, gifts, phone number etc.
You don't have to destroy things, unless this person had a negative influence on your life. Put them away in a safe place. The fact is, later on you will be glad you kept his memories, even if this person was not the best
Step 3. Reflect
Did this person treat me well? Did it make me laugh or cry? Take some time to think about these things.
Make a list of the things your ex did that bothered you. Write them partly to end the relationship entirely and partly to know what you don't want in your new partner. While it's hard to find perfection, it's best not to make the same mistake twice
Step 4. Enjoy
Go out with friends, go bowling, go to the movies, ice skate or maybe go on a date. Do something that doesn't make you think about your ex.
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Some examples of things you could do for fun are:
- Spend the weekend running a marathon of 80s movies. Rent or download several 80s (or any decade) movies and watch them with friends. There is nothing better than John Cusak and Jamie Lee Curtis.
- Build your own water slide (or do it in an aquapark). Put a slippery tarp in the yard and let the water pipe go continuously. It slides on the tarpaulin like a bullet.
- Design and make original t-shirts. Sell them in some flea markets or online. Name your group of friends and have them contribute to the creation of the t-shirts.
Get Over Your Ex Step 5 Step 5. Go on vacation
You don't have to go far; the city after yours is fine too. But a little time with yourself (or with friends) will give you a new perspective. Appreciate the natural beauty of the place you are visiting. Find happiness in that beauty.
Get Over Your Ex Step 6 Step 6. If you don't want to spend money on a vacation, try cooking
Cooking can be very relaxing. Look for a recipe for a dish you want to learn and prepare it for friends or family - don't eat it alone.
Get Over Your Ex Step 7 Step 7. Don't talk to friends who also know him / her
Better to keep your distance from your ex's friends, even if they're not bad people. The reason is that you want to rebuild your life from scratch, and you don't want to be thrown back into the maelstrom of your previous life.
- If you see your friends, don't avoid them. But don't change your plans to keep up with them. You want to be civilized and respectful, but it's hard to forget your ex if his friends remind you all the time.
- If your ex's friends ask why you are avoiding them, say something like this: "I'm trying to make time for myself. While I was with [your ex] I didn't always succeed. Now that we are no longer together, it has become the my priority.
Get Over Your Ex Step 8 Step 8. While it doesn't always help, talk to your family
They are always there for you and can help distract you! Remember that your family loves you unconditionally, and that you can talk to them more than you think!
If you are uncomfortable, think about when your parents were young. They've been through the same things - broken hearts, crushes, indecision, everything - so it means they've been through it before you. You may learn something new by talking to them
Get Over Your Ex Step 9 Step 9. Do something you've wanted to do for a long time
When you are in a relationship, your time goes to the other person. Sometimes this means sacrificing things you want to do or have planned. Now that you are single, you can do everything you planned.
Maybe you wanted to donate blood to the local blood bank; maybe you wanted to visit your grandparents; maybe you wanted to take that 9 in the math test; whatever it is, go out of your way to get it
Get Over Your Ex Step 10 Step 10. Even if you and your ex have decided to remain friends, cut off contact for a while
Talk to him / her only when you are sure you have nothing left over. Close that chapter. You don't necessarily need a new partner, but make sure you no longer have feelings for your ex before cultivating his friendship.
Get Over Your Ex Step 11 Step 11. Don't look at him when he seeks your gaze
This will show that you are determined to leave it behind.
Get Over Your Ex Step 12 Step 12. Find an easy way to reward yourself
Pamper yourself a little. You don't have to do who knows what because thought counts. Treat yourself to a day at a spa, or make your favorite cake. Do something to show love for yourself.
Get Over Your Ex Step 13 Step 13. Stay away from alcohol or other stimulants
In movies, a breakup is usually followed by the protagonist getting drunk. Alcohol and other stimulants won't make things any easier - don't rely on them to forget about your ex!
Get Over Your Ex Step 14 Step 14. Keep busy
Throw yourself into study or work. You know what they say about those who stand on their hands. If you get lost in something that meant it to you, forgetting about your ex won't be that hard.
Get Over Your Ex Step 15 Step 15. Remember that you are not alone on this journey
Do you think you are the only one who has ever suffered in this way? It's not true. You will forget it. Time heals all wounds. Don't go back with this person, remember the reasons you broke up. You don't want to go back to that situation, right?
Advice
- Don't show him you care. Even if so, act like it isn't. Later you will realize that you no longer care about him.
- Don't be afraid to see other people, but don't throw yourself into a new story too soon. Give yourself time to heal, have fun with friends and be single.
- Listen to good music.
- Try to ignore him to let him know you're not bad about the breakup. Do not make any eye contact with him and go out with friends so as not to see him.
- Remember that if you think 'if you changed I could attract him to me', you are who you are and you don't have to change for a guy who doesn't love you for who you are!
- Think positive. Things happen for a reason.
- You won't be sad forever. In fact, you may start feeling happy right now!
- Turn off your phone when you are with friends or family. It might distract you.
- Try to create new memories with people who aren't your ex. For example, if the last time you were in your favorite restaurant you were with your ex, go with a friend. In this you will not continue to link this place to him. Try to create new memories in as many places as possible to minimize those with your ex.
Warnings
- Don't beg your ex to get back with you. It makes you pathetic.
- Don't act like you like someone else to make your ex jealous. It never works and you just waste time. Plus, you may hurt the feelings of the person you're using.
- Just because you are mad at your ex doesn't mean you have to settle the score. Forget it. It will be simpler and the smartest thing to do in the future.
- Ignore all the gossip that might go around about you and your ex. It's not worth wasting time on it.
- Regarding Step 4: Don't take friends to a place you've been with your ex.
- It might help you to write down a list of all its flaws. But if you decide to do it, don't show it to anyone. It could be counterproductive.
