Our self-esteem is formed during our youth. Over time, being constantly criticized by family, friends and society tends to slowly deprive us of the value we place on ourselves; as a result, having low self-esteem, we strip ourselves of our self-confidence and become unable to make even the smallest decisions. However, these negative feelings of ours do not necessarily have to be permanent: to this end we can learn to improve our self-esteem to be able to feel more confident and take the necessary steps to guarantee us a better and happier life. Read on to find out more!
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Recognizing Your Self-Esteem
Step 1. Learn about self-esteem
Self-esteem, or the value we place on ourselves, is a very important aspect of our emotional well-being. Having a high self-esteem means knowing how to love and accept ourselves for who we are, generally feeling satisfied with ourselves. On the contrary, having low self-esteem means not being happy with our peculiarities.
- The Australian Center for Clinical Interventions, for example, describes those with low self-esteem as "people with deep-seated negative beliefs about themselves and the kind of person they are. Such beliefs are often thought of as concrete truths that are essential to their identity."
- Problems related to low self-esteem can last over a lifetime and cause even serious problems, such as being the victim of an abusive relationship, feeling constantly uncomfortable or having a fear of failure that also prevents any minimal attempt to improve one's life.
Step 2. Assess your self-esteem
Recognizing that you have low self-esteem is the first step to be able to improve and dominate this mental inclination. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, you may have low self-esteem. Such unfavorable thoughts could relate to a single trait about you, such as your weight or physical appearance, or include multiple areas of your life, both personal and work.
- If your inner voice or thoughts about yourself are mostly critical and negative, you probably have low self-esteem.
- On the other hand, if your inner voice tends to be positive and reassuring, chances are you have good self-esteem.
Step 3. Listen to your inner voice
When you have thoughts about yourself, make an effort to recognize whether they are positive or negative. If you're having a hard time determining this or noticing any recurring patterns, try writing them down for several days or a whole week. Rereading them will make it easier to highlight your attitudes.
- Often the inner voice of a person with low self-esteem manifests itself in the form of a grouch, a generalist, a catastrophic, one who can read minds, or one who can't help but compare anything to something else. Each of these figures does nothing but emit insults or assume the worst about the perception of themselves by others.
- Silencing that negative inner voice is the first step to be able to develop your self-confidence. Replacing it with more positive thoughts will be the next step.
- For example, your inner voice might say, "I didn't get the job I applied for, I'm a useless person, and I'll be unemployed forever." Replace this belief with a more positive thought: "I'm sorry I didn't get that job, but I've worked hard and will definitely find the right job for me, I just have to keep looking."
Step 4. Find out what is the source of your low self-esteem
Nobody happens to inherit it from birth: generally low self-esteem comes from a childhood in which basic needs were not met, the opinions received were only negative or you were the victim of a serious adverse event. Knowing the source of your self-esteem problems can help you overcome them.
- If by analyzing your inner voice you notice particular patterns, try to retrace your emotions backwards to be able to return to the first memories that concern them.
- For example, if your negativity is related to your weight or your physical appearance, try to remember the first episode in which you began to feel uncomfortable about your extra pounds: perhaps the cause could be a particular comment or a group of comments.
Step 5. Set yourself a goal to be able to improve your self-esteem
To be able to develop it, you must learn to transform your inner voice from critical and negative to encouraging and positive. Basically you have to make the decision to positively rephrase every thought that concerns you. Start with the goal of being more positive about yourself; by doing so you will be able to take the first step along the path that will lead you to strengthen the trust you have in you.
For example, your goal might be: "I will be more positive and address myself as I would a friend and not an enemy."
Part 2 of 4: Take More Care of Yourself
Step 1. List your positives
Focus on the things you love about yourself to remind yourself that there are not only those aspects to which your evil inner voice dedicates constant negative thoughts. Congratulate yourself on your achievements without limiting yourself.
- People with high self-esteem are able to accept their qualities even knowing they are not perfect.
- Post your list in a prominent place, such as the bathroom mirror, and look back over it every day. As you learn to become more positive you will be able to add more voices to it.
Step 2. Create a positivity journal
Write down your milestones, the compliments you receive, and the positive thoughts you have about yourself. The critical ones may not go away entirely, however, by focusing more on positive thoughts, you will be able to improve your overall self-esteem.
- A diary is a powerful tool that allows you to monitor your inner dialogue and increase the value you place on yourself.
- Use your positivity journal to create effective opposition to recurring negative thoughts. For example, if you tend to denigrate yourself for not having the courage to speak frankly about a topic, write down in your pages all those occasions when you can overcome yourself and be completely honest.
Step 3. Use the diary to set goals
You can set goals that allow you to improve yourself in every area of your life, while remembering not to expect perfection. Make sure your goals are clear and specific, and allow some "wiggle room" for imperfections.
- For example, instead of saying "I will always oppose people who propagate feelings of discrimination and hatred", set yourself a different goal such as "I will do my best to calmly counter the ideas of those who propagate feelings of discrimination and hatred."
- Instead of stating "I will never eat a cake again and lose 15 pounds", for example, set yourself the following goal: "I will strive to have a healthier lifestyle, make better food choices and exercise more."
Step 4. Forgive yourself for being imperfect
Remember that you, like anyone else, are a human being. To have good self-esteem it is not at all necessary to achieve perfection. By being able to accept yourself as you are, even knowing that you need to improve in some aspects, you will gain more confidence in yourself.
- Create your own mantra for yourself, for example: "It's okay, I'm still a wonderful person."
- For example, if you have lost your temper with your children and scolded them while they were playing in the park, you can say to yourself: "I'm not perfect, and I will try to keep my emotions under control. I will apologize to my children for screaming. and I'll explain to them why I got angry. It's okay, I'm still a great mom."
Step 5. Get help from a therapist
If you feel that you are unable to increase your self-esteem on your own, or you feel very upset about exploring the roots of your lack of self-confidence, you can enlist the support of a therapist. A professional can help you identify and manage the roots of your self-esteem issues.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a treatment that can deal with the automatic negative thoughts you are addressing yourself and is able to teach you to manage emotions in a healthy way.
- For those who suffer from more serious disorders and complexes related to self-esteem, psychodynamic therapy allows you to perform deeper work and more effectively deals with the roots of the problem.
Step 6. Dedicate yourself to charity
Contributing to an external cause to their own needs allows many to feel better about themselves. Volunteering at a charitable organization will help both yourself and the people who receive your support - a win-win solution.
- Choose a charitable organization that is dedicated to a cause you care about.
- Volunteer with one or more friends: the experience will be more enjoyable, the work will become lighter, and the charity will also benefit.
Part 3 of 4: Adopting a More Positive Lifestyle
Step 1. Take the time to take care of yourself
Sometimes being able to carve out some time for us seems impossible, but it is good to keep in mind that dedicating ourselves to the things that make us feel relaxed and happy can help us improve our self-esteem and our productivity, both personally and at work.
Look for a hobby that can make you feel better, physically and mentally. Some people say that yoga, biking, or running help them find calm and feel more positive and centered
Step 2. Surround yourself with positive people
If you have noticed that there is some negative influence that makes you feel bad about yourself, try to minimize the attendance or stop seeing it completely. So commit to spending your time with people who can prove themselves positive and who can help you build your self-confidence.
- Let loved ones know that you are trying to improve your self-esteem so that they can encourage and support you during the process.
- Share your intentions with family and friends, for example by saying, "I am working to improve my self-esteem. If you wish, you can help me by pointing out the occasions when I speak to myself in negative terms so that I can become more aware. of my wrong behaviors ".
Step 3. Eat healthy
Opting for foods low in sugar and fat, but loaded with healthy nutrients, will help you feel more energetic, improve your overall health, and prevent blood sugar crashes.
- Avoid diets dictated by passing fashions and put only fresh and natural foods in your cart, as little processed as possible.
- Stop eating sweets, candies, cakes and chocolate bars, and avoid fizzy drinks to avoid symptoms such as energy drops and migraines. In addition to exposing you to the risk of physical ailments, each of these foods (and drinks) is unable to feed your body and forces you to ingest empty calories.
- Fruits, vegetables, legumes and lean meats must be the basis of your diet. Consider them as the fuel that allows your body to receive all the energy and nourishment it needs to face your days, to carry out your work and family tasks, to protect your body from disease and to guarantee you a long and healthy life. let you enjoy your family's love longer.
Step 4. Exercise more
Even if you don't have time to hit the gym, a brisk walk is often all you need to keep your body moving and improve your health. A little bit of exercise can make you feel better, more energetic, and effectively support your immune system.
- Many people confirm that walking outdoors is invigorating and revitalizing, especially if they are used to spending a lot of time indoors because of their work.
- Even a short 10-minute workout done once or twice a day has great health benefits.
Step 5. Take the time to take care of your personal hygiene and physical appearance on a daily basis
Dedicating time and attention to your hygiene, your image and the choice of your clothes and accessories will allow you to feel more confident and have greater self-confidence.
Part 4 of 4: Don't Pursue Perfection
Step 1. Recognize when a standard is unattainable
Just like in Picasso's works, being a purely subjective and often self-imposed condition, perfection varies as the observer varies. Giving yourself high standards is certainly correct, but it is good to make sure that they are not purely illusory, because life often flows differently than we have planned. On the contrary, you would risk getting frustrated at not being able to match the ideal image you have built of yourself.
A very high standard is not always a bad thing, because it pushes people to improve and do things better and more effectively by pursuing excellence
Step 2. Forgive yourself
If you want to prevent the natural human tendency to become unproductive as soon as things do not go in the right direction, you must learn to forgive your mistakes and motivate yourself by highlighting your achievements and your strengths: only in this way will you be able to appreciate in every moment the person you six.
Advice
- Surround yourself with people who care about your feelings! Those who are not interested in your well-being do not contribute in any way to developing your self-esteem.
- Be determined. To develop your self-esteem, you need to commit to achieving your goals. Do things in your best interest keeping in mind that to be able to help others you must first help yourself.
- Don't try to impress others. If you want other people to judge you positively, you just have to be yourself and show that you have faith in your abilities.
- You are who you are and no one can change this reality. Be yourself and don't try to copy others.
- Tell yourself that you feel confident and sociable, even when you don't. Your feelings and beliefs come directly from your thoughts, so thinking you are confident and outgoing will allow you to really become one. Think and act as if you are completely unaware of what it means to have low self-esteem.
- The most important thing you need to do is believe in yourself, there are no other secrets. Believing you can do something means being able to do it.
- Your inner strength will allow you to achieve the goals you have set for yourself in life. If you take a misstep, help yourself to get up from the fall and try again.
- Look in the mirror every day. Try to find something to admire: your physical appearance, your achievements or your achievements.
- Make sure your inner dialogue is always positive. Remind yourself how fabulous you are or how radiant you look today. Make positivity your natural state.
- Do not allow advertising campaigns visible in magazines and other media to jeopardize your self-esteem. Marketing often leverages consumers' fears and insecurities by trying to bring these negative feelings to the surface. Strongly oppose the evil efforts of marketing, using your inner confidence and awareness.
- Ignore people's negative comments. Listen exclusively to your positive inner voice and don't lose confidence - no one can blame you for wanting to be yourself.
- People who constantly criticize others are people of little human value. If they were characters in a book, they would not even be worth the cost of the ink or paper used to narrate the horrible deeds.
