Resilience, in psychology, is the ability to recover from difficult situations and escape the risk of becoming a victim of impotence. Being resilient helps us to keep stress under control and reduces the chances of depressive states; it has also been shown to promote a longer life. You may think that you have been so unfortunate that you have no chance of finding yourself strengthened by the difficulties you have faced, but things need to change. Once you have learned to take over the reins of your life and face the unexpected, you can say that you are close to the goal of becoming a resilient person, with the advantage of living a happier and more fulfilling life. To increase your resilience level you need to learn to overcome difficult situations and emotions in a healthy way, to take resilient action, to think resiliently and to maintain your long-term resilience.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Coping with Difficult Situations
Step 1. Manage your stress
Being able to remain calm in times of greatest worry and difficulty is not easy at all, but you must understand that stress hinders your ability to remain resilient. Keeping stress under control means being able to counter adversity with greater serenity and concentration, rather than trying to flee or hide them. As busy as you may be, it's important that stress management becomes a priority for you.
- If you are overworked and sleep deprived, do what you can to reduce the number of activities you have to cope with.
- Indulge in those activities that allow you to completely relax. Regularly give yourself the time and opportunity to calm down, thereby giving more room to grow your resilience.
- Immerse yourself in some positive activities that help reduce stress and improve mood.
- Learn to see stress as a challenge or an opportunity. Being stressed comes from paying particular attention to what you are doing. When you dedicate yourself to something that is close to your heart, you worry. Use stress as an informant, it will help you learn more about your priorities and obligations. Learn to reframe stress related thoughts, for example "I don't have enough time" can become "I know I can do it, I just need to organize my responsibilities better."
Step 2. Meditate
Meditation can help you clear your mind and reduce stress, allowing you to face daily challenges with greater energy and determination. Some studies have shown that with just 10 minutes of meditation we can reach the same level of well-being guaranteed by an hour of sleep, while also feeling more relaxed and ready to overcome difficult situations. If you feel overwhelmed or exhausted, meditating can help you slow down and make you feel in control of the situation again.
Find a quiet place to sit and close your eyes, focus your attention on your breath, feeling your chest and abdomen rhythmically expand and contract. Relax one part of the body after another. For an ideal result, eliminate any kind of noise or distraction
Step 3. Do yoga
A study conducted by Harvard Medical School has shown that people who practice yoga, unlike those who engage in other physical disciplines, are less prone to anger and more able to cope with and overcome difficulties. During the practice of yoga, you will learn to assume challenging positions, developing the strength and endurance necessary to maintain them even in situations where the body seems to ask you to stop. As a result, your ability to "conform" to difficult situations will improve and you will be able to find the resources necessary to remain calm and determined.
Step 4. Feed your sense of humor
Sometimes, to be able to get through tough times, you need to rely on your own lightheartedness. Humor helps us take a different perspective on things and improves our state of well-being thanks to an increase in the level of dopamine in the brain; not least it also increases our general health.
- Watch a comedy, read a funny book, and spend time with genuinely witty people. When times get tough, it's important to balance melancholy movies, books, and thoughts with extremely entertaining and hilarious material, to avoid self-drowning in utter desperation.
- Learn to laugh at yourself. The ability not to take yourself too seriously will help you face difficulties more lightly.
Step 5. Get some support
Lack of social support can limit resilience. Due to the hustle and bustle of our lives, we tend to overlook important relationships, but it's important to find ways to care for them as they deserve. Healthy relationships are a backbone of resilience and a significant source of support during tough times. Nurture relationships with friends and family, on every occasion you can count on a ready and reliable support network.
A study of 3,000 women with breast cancer found that those with 10 or more trusted friends were four times more likely to survive
Step 6. Find a mentor
Since a lack of social support can hinder resilience, having a mentor can help you overcome problems more easily. You may feel that you are hopeless and that life is collapsing around you, in which case the support of a wise and more experienced person can make you feel less alone and convince you that you have everything you need to face life's challenges..
- This could be a person who has achieved success in the same field as you, a grandfather, an older friend, or anyone who can help you achieve your goals and find the balance you need to cope with difficulties.
- If you are a student of any age, you may want to rely on a tutor, coach or teacher who could provide you with the necessary support.
Step 7. Take care of your health
Describing your problems to someone who has the expertise to help you decide whether to seek help from a therapist, medication, or any other form of support needed can be very important. Although difficulties can be addressed on your own, it is sometimes essential to speak to a doctor to ensure that the path taken is the best one.
Going to a doctor does not mean being weak at all; admitting that you need help is indeed an expression of extreme strength
Method 2 of 4: Taking Action to Promote Resilience
Step 1. Be an acting person
Indolence can lead to poor resilience, while being active and dealing with problems directly can promote the ability to overcome complicated situations. Try not to stop and mull over negative ideas and thoughts. On the contrary, you act voluntarily to resolve the situation.
- For example, even if no one wants to publish your novel, don't accept that others value your work. Feel proud of your work and keep looking for someone willing to publish it or try a new path.
- If you've been fired, get back in the game and look for a new job, it might be the right opportunity to find a job that can enhance you and make you happier, even if it forces you to start a new career. While it may seem hard to believe, this layoff may turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Try to focus on the positive aspects of the change and work hard to find a solution.
Step 2. Find your purpose in life
Having dreams and goals to pursue increases resilience. Conversely, lack of purpose makes you less resilient and exposes you to the risk of being manipulated and exploited by others. A life devoid of purpose leads to meaningless choices and makes you feel a helpless victim of events, which can lead to anxiety and depression.
- Evaluate your goals, big or small. Your goals give your life meaning, keeping you focused and determined. List a number of things you want to accomplish, then put your list in a safe place and make a commitment to regularly evaluate your progress.
- Learn to recognize the things that inspire you and those that distract you from your goals. Live your life with complete respect for your values and beliefs.
Step 3. Commit to achieving your goals
If you want to be a more resilient person, not only do you have to set yourself goals, you have to strive to achieve them. Planning to accomplish your goals, whether it's getting a certificate, getting fit, or getting through a breakup, will help you stay focused and feel in control of your life.
- List all the resolutions you want to accomplish over the next month, semester, and year. Make sure all your goals are realistic and achievable. An example of a feasible purpose is to lose 5 pounds in 3 months. On the other hand, losing 10 kilos in a month is an unrealistic and harmful goal for health.
- Create a weekly or monthly plan that allows you to make your wishes come true. As unpredictable as life is and it is almost impossible to plan it in detail, setting up a generic plan will help you feel more in control of the situation, also increasing your chances of success.
- Let the people close to you know your goals. Even just talking and discussing them will allow you to feel more responsible for achieving them.
Step 4. Pursue knowledge
Resilient people tend to be more curious and enthusiastic about life. They embrace the unknown and want to feel well informed about their surroundings in the world. They consider other cultures fascinating and want to learn more about them. They are well informed, sure of themselves and their points of view; if necessary they feel able to admit that they do not know something. Your thirst for knowledge is what can make you excited about life and what can give you the strength to carry on despite adversity. The more you know, the more prepared you will feel to face life's major challenges and difficulties.
- Learn a foreign language, dedicate yourself to reading books and magazines, watch interesting films that are capable of transmitting enthusiasm for life.
- When faced with a new situation, resilient people aren't afraid to ask questions. Rather than accepting that you feel helpless and unable to handle something you don't know, ask and keep asking until you have a clear idea of the situation.
Method 3 of 4: Change Your Thinking With Resilience
Step 1. Develop a positive attitude
Positive thoughts arouse positive emotions, thereby increasing your overall resilience. Of course, it's not easy to show positive after breaking your arm in a car accident caused by a reckless driver or when you've been turned down by the last five girls you've asked for a date. You are facing a difficult situation, but that does not mean that it is impossible to overcome. What will allow you to get where you want is your ability to be optimistic and to see obstacles as isolated incidents rather than as indicators of future failure. Convince yourself therefore of the importance of having a proactive attitude, it will be your own positivity that will allow you to seize more opportunities, to identify new creative ways to improve your life and to feel more satisfied overall.
- Find ways to stop negative thoughts in the bud. Whenever you notice that you have negative feelings or thoughts, try to formulate three positive considerations that will help you counter them.
- Do you know what can help you really be more positive? Hang out with people who are just as good. Positive, as well as negative, conduct is highly contagious, so spending more time with people who are able to seize opportunities, moving away from those who are victimized and complaining, will allow you to enjoy some almost immediate positive changes even in the your behavior.
- Avoid catastrophism. Even when circumstances seem truly horrifying, there is always a chance to look beyond and move on. Reflect and try to achieve a more positive result.
- Focus on your past successes. What good have you done? What goals have you reached? Make a list of all the positive things you have accomplished in your life. This exercise may allow you to realize how resilient and skilled you already are.
Step 2. Embrace the change
One of the greatest qualities of a resilient person is their ability to manage and accept change. Some studies have shown that, simply by changing our perspective and starting to consider challenges that until yesterday we considered threats, we increase our ability to manage and overcome them. Learning to adapt to new situations, whether it's a change of home or the birth of a new child, means acquiring a fundamental skill that will help us find new creative solutions to problems and cope with adversity in a state of relative calm. and well-being.
- Try to keep an open mind. Don't judge people by their looks, their beliefs, or their actions. Not only will you have the opportunity to learn something new, you will also learn about multiple new perspectives that will help you see the world differently when you find yourself facing unusual situations.
- One way to learn to embrace change is to continually experience new things, for example by meeting new people, enrolling in a course related to a subject never studied before or by reading a different kind of books. A life full of novelty will transform you into a person who is more tolerant of change.
- Learn to see change as an opportunity to evolve, grow and transform. Change is positive and necessary. Repeat to yourself "I accept this change, it can help me grow and become a stronger and more resilient person".
- If you are a religious or spiritual person, prayer or a different traditional practice can help you embrace change. Trust that everything will turn out for the best, exactly as it should go, albeit differently from what you imagined. Ask your higher entity to help you accept the change.
Step 3. Learn to solve problems
Part of the reason people struggle to become resilient is because they are unprepared for problems. If you can develop a practical way to deal with challenges, you will be more likely to feel prepared to overcome them and to ward off feelings of ineptitude. Here is a suitable approach that can help you cope with the problem you face:
- First recognize what the real problem is. Trivially, you may think that you are not satisfied with your job because you feel that you are not paid enough, but by analyzing the matter thoroughly you may find that the real cause of your unhappiness is the fact that you do not pursue your passion. Such a reflection could highlight a series of hitherto unexplored problems and negate the one originally considered.
- Find multiple solutions. Be creative and look for more than one solution; Convincing yourself that there is only one way to deal with a problem (for example, to quit your job and try to devote yourself to music full time) could put you in trouble due to an impractical and feasible approach, or sometimes unable to make you satisfied long-term. Make a list of all possible solutions and choose the best 2-3.
- Put your plans into action. Evaluate your solution to analyze the probability of success. Don't be afraid to ask others for advice. If your plans don't work, treat the whole experience as a learning opportunity rather than a failure.
Step 4. Learn from your mistakes
Focus on the things you can control. Another quality of resilient people is their ability to learn from mistakes made, seeing them as opportunities for growth and not as setbacks. Resilient people find time to reflect on their actions and mistakes to avoid repeating the same behaviors in the future.
- Instead of feeling depressed or upset about being rejected, try to understand how this experience can help you grow. Your motto should be: "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger".
- As the saying "An intelligent man learns from his mistakes. A wise man knows how to avoid them" puts it, avoiding making the first mistakes is not always possible, but you have the opportunity to acquire the wisdom necessary not to repeat them in the future. Focus on solutions or how to avoid finding yourself in the same situation again.
- Highlight your behavioral patterns. Maybe your last three relationships weren't a failure just out of bad luck, rather you haven't been able to give them the necessary time or maybe you still want to date the same type of person, despite the facts show you that you are not. compatible. Identify any patterns that repeat themselves to help prevent them in the future.
Step 5. Focus on what you can control
People who feel they are in command of events are more resilient in the face of challenges, while others tend to blame themselves in the face of every obstacle, thinking that the true causes of the hitches are immutable and attributable to their own inadequacy and the injustice of the world.
- Instead of thinking that you have no control over your life, reflect on past obstacles and notice if it was a simple unfortunate situation, rather than a mistake that was entirely your own person or a confirmation that the world is a ruthless place. Focus on the possibility that things don't always have to go that way.
- Let go of the things you cannot control and try to adapt to them.
Method 4 of 4: Maintain Resilience
Step 1. Take care of yourself on a daily basis
You may be so busy getting through a painful separation, firing, or other significant event in your life that you don't even have time to shower or sleep more than a few hours a night. But if you want to be mentally strong, you have to be physically strong too. A neglected body is not a valid ally with which to face challenges. No matter how sad or upset you feel, you need to make an effort to take care of your hygiene, get enough sleep and resume your daily routine, to be able to return to a state of normalcy as much as possible.
In addition to taking care of your physical health, it is important that you decide not to neglect your mental health. Some studies have shown that taking mental breaks, for example in which to daydream or relax to the sound of your favorite songs, helps to eliminate the chemicals that cause stress and prevents the feeling of oppression
Step 2. Strengthen your self-esteem
Among other factors, your self-esteem depends on the value you place on yourself. To be able to be resilient, it is important to have a positive outlook on yourself and on life in general. By acquiring skills and responsibilities, you nurture your self-esteem and therefore, rather than feeling afraid of it and being closed in on yourself, it is essential that you decide to immerse yourself completely in the flow of life. Having the perception of being undeserving of esteem will make you unable to face and overcome daily challenges.
- Empower yourself by paying close attention to your positive qualities while striving to minimize the negative ones. You can start by making a list of all the things you like about yourself.
- Increase your self-esteem by expressing your talents and skills to their fullest potential, both professionally and personally.
- Whenever you get the chance, expand your skills and acquire new skills. Your self-esteem will be strengthened and your fears weakened. For example, if you are concerned that your children may be injured someday, take a first aid course to increase your skills and keep the fear of not knowing how to deal with such an eventuality at bay.
- Courses, seminars, workshops, etc. are all excellent opportunities to broaden your knowledge and expand the network of people you can rely on in case of need.
Step 3. Feed your creativity
Creativity is an expression of your being and your way of life. Creativity allows you to express what you cannot communicate, or sometimes even understand, in words. Feeding it will help you to be more imaginative in identifying the solutions to your problems and will give you the opportunity to realize that the world can also be observed with different eyes.
Sign up for a photography class, write a poem, experiment with the use of watercolors, redecorate your room in an original way or try to create your own clothes
Step 4. Keep fit
While it is not necessary to have a sculpted abs to deal with the most common crises, having a vigorous physique is certainly a valuable aid. Given the close mind-body connection, being physically fit means having developed the power and stamina necessary to have a strong mind and therefore be able to rely on it in difficult times. A body in good shape and health promotes good self-esteem, positive thoughts and the ability to feel in control of events, qualities that will help you be more resilient.
Start with some simple physical activity, especially with daily twenty-minute walks in the sunlight, and you will soon find that you can count on a more open mind and feel ready to take on new challenges
Step 5. Make peace with your past
Getting rid of the past motivations that fuel your current lifestyle is of paramount importance. Until you leave previous difficulties behind, your current actions will continue to be directly and indirectly affected. Remember, mistakes and problems must be considered for what they are: opportunities for growth and learning. Don't expect the change to happen overnight, but stay determined, the end result will be an incredibly more resilient yourself. Writing a journal to record what happened and what you have learned from each situation will often help you reconcile with the past. If despite your best efforts, your past continues to haunt you, see your doctor or an experienced therapist.
- Reflect on the difficulties that have made you think that your life has come to an end. Realize how you have been able to face and overcome them, and how you have become stronger thanks to the necessary efforts.
- If you feel that an event from your past is pending, try to identify what is needed to take it to the next level, such as a confrontation with a person or a visit to a place you haven't seen for a long time. It's not always possible to write the final word, but there may be a way to change the way you think about the past so that you can feel stronger in facing future challenges.
