Beyoncé said "Knowing who we are is the most valuable information we can possess. Know your goals, what you love, your moral values, your needs, your standards, what you tolerate and what you are willing to stand up for with. life. This defines who you are. " And it is true. However, don't forget that as we grow up, meet new people and have different experiences, our personality is constantly evolving. If you can't define who you are, reflect to reveal your true nature.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Observe yourself closely
Step 1. Find out what you like and what you don't like
People often focus more on what they love. It is important to understand what gives you joy or pleasure, but it is also important to know what causes you unhappiness or dissatisfaction. One of the first steps in your reflection must be to make a list of all the things you like and don't like.
- Your preferences often fall into the description of yourself that you communicate to others. There are things that separate us or unite us with those around us. Knowing those elements helps you understand what goals you want to achieve and what things you want to avoid. Identify your preferences, which can guide your career choices, your choice of where to live, your hobbies, and what kind of people will gravitate to you.
- Use this moment of reflection to assess whether your preferences are too strict. Do you feel like you fit into a stereotype? Is there anything you would like to try, but which on paper is not part of your future plans? Find the courage to engage in a whole new activity. You may reveal a side of yourself that you didn't know.
Step 2. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses
Just as preferences can give you a lot of information about who you are, the same goes for the things you do more or less well. On another sheet, write the list of your best qualities and shortcomings.
- For many people, strengths are tied to preferences, while weaknesses often coincide with the things we like least. Imagine that you love sweets and that one of your strengths is cooking them; the two elements are linked. Conversely, you may despise sports and have poor stamina or coordination.
- In many cases, our shortcomings become things we don't like, because we aren't naturally gifted in those areas. This explains why you like or dislike something.
- Knowing this information is already important. However, you can go deeper and decide whether to work towards improving your weaknesses or whether to focus your energies on the things you are already doing well.
Step 3. Consider what comforts you
We can learn a lot about ourselves when we feel at our best, but just as much information emerges when we are down. Think carefully about the last time you felt sad or stressed. How did you seek comfort in that moment? What made you feel better?
Knowing what comforts you allows you to understand a lot about yourself. Maybe you always turn to someone to cheer you up or get distracted. Or you could be watching your favorite movie or escaping through the pages of a book. Your source of comfort could be food, as happens to all people who eat more when they are stressed
Step 4. Write your thoughts and emotions in a journal
The ideal way to learn more about yourself is to learn how to analyze thoughts and feelings. Do this for a week to get a clearer picture of the topics you think about most often and identify the moods you experience most frequently. Are you a positive or negative person?
- As you reread the journal, you may notice statements that reveal the direction you would like to take in life that you may not consciously realize. You may often write that you want to travel, meet someone you like, or try a new hobby.
- After identifying recurring themes in your diary, think for a moment what those thoughts mean and if you want to put them into practice.
Step 5. Take a personality test
Another way to get to know yourself is to complete a personality assessment, which you can find on the internet. Some people dislike identifying with a category, while others feel more balanced by putting labels on themselves and their behaviors. If you like to understand your nature by examining your commonalities (or differences) with others, taking a free test can help.
- On websites like HumanMetrics.com you can answer a variety of questions about your preferences and how you see the world or yourself. The tool will analyze your answers and provide you with a personality type that can help you understand which interests and jobs are best for you, as well as explain how you communicate with the people around you.
- Remember that all free online assessments are not entirely valid. These tests offer a general understanding of who you are. However, if you want a thorough personality analysis, you need to speak to a professional psychologist.
Part 2 of 3: Ask the Most Important Questions
Step 1. Go deeper to establish your core values
This term refers to the standards you believe in and that influence your decisions, behaviors and attitudes. These are beliefs and principles that you are ready to defend and to fight for: family, equality, justice, peace, gratitude, reliability, equity, financial stability, moral integrity, etc. If you don't know your core values, you can't tell if your choices align with them. You can find them out in the following ways:
- Think of two people you admire. What are the traits you value them for?
- Think of a time when you felt really proud. What's happened? Did you help anyone? Have you achieved a goal? Have you defended your rights or those of another person?
- Think about the problems in your community or the world that you are most passionate about. You can include politics, the environment, education, feminism, crime, and others.
- Think about what three items you would save if your house caught fire (assuming all people are already safe). Why would you just take those things?
Step 2. Assess if you are proud of your life
As the famous quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald says "I hope you lead a life to be proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start over." If you died today, would you leave the legacy you hoped for?
Step 3. Ask yourself what you would do if you didn't have a money problem
When we are children, we often have big dreams. As we age, also due to the influence of society, our perspectives change. Go back to times when you had an unshakable dream of doing something, which you gave up because it wasn't the right time or because you didn't have enough money. Write down how you would spend your life if you didn't have to think about financial stability. How would you live?
Step 4. Determine how you would live if you weren't afraid of failure
We often miss excellent opportunities and take no risks because we are worried about making a hole in the water. Doubts can affect your entire life if you don't strive to overcome them. Unfortunately, they can also dramatically increase the number of regrets over the years. Here are some ways to overcome the fear of failure if you feel this is preventing you from fully realizing yourself:
- Learn that failure is necessary. When we make mistakes, we are able to evaluate our actions and refine our methods. We grow and learn through failure.
- Visualize success. One way not to be conditioned by the fear of failure is to imagine that you always reach your goals.
- Persevere. Keep moving towards your goal, despite the missteps. We often reach our most ambitious dreams just when we are about to give up. Don't let small losses cause you to lose sight of the final goal.
Step 5. Ask how others view you
After asking yourself these questions about yourself, talk to loved ones and find out what they think about you. Ask for a list of characteristics or an example of a specific moment that they think sums up your personality.
- Once you have asked the question to various relatives and friends, think about the answers. How did others describe you? Were you surprised by their evaluation? Are you angry? Does their interpretation reflect the person you want to become or your view of yourself?
- If those people's opinion matters a lot to you, you may wonder what you need to do to align their view of you with yours. Maybe you have a distorted view of yourself and need to reevaluate your actions.
Part 3 of 3: Analyze Your Way of Communicating with Others
Step 1. Find out if you are an introvert or an extrovert
If you have taken an internet personality test, one of the factors that is evaluated is often the introversion-extroversion scale. These are terms used by Carl Jung that describe the way you draw energies from life: from the internal world or the external one.
- Introvert describes a person who draws energy from examining the inner world, made up of thoughts, ideas, memories and reactions. These people love solitude and prefer to spend time with one or two people with whom they share a bond. They can be thoughtful or reserved. People who draw energy from interactions with the outside world are Extroverts. They love to do different things and meet many people. They are excited when they are in company. They can act without thinking well.
- In the common imagination, introverts are often described as shy and closed, while extroverts are sociable and open. However, it has been shown by many studies that these interpretations are false, because these characteristics exist in a spectrum. No one is 100% introverted or extroverted, but rather falls into one category or the other based on the circumstances.
Step 2. Decide what kind of friend you are
To get to know yourself, you also need to know what your expectations, feelings and behaviors are regarding friendship. Reflect on your past friendships. Do you like to talk to friends every day or just from time to time? Do you often organize evenings or are you always invited? Do you enjoy spending quality time with friends? Do you share intimate details with them or are you very private? Do you drop everything when a friend needs help? Do you have reasonable demands in friendships (don't you expect people to always be at your disposal or to be friends only with you)?
Once you have asked yourself these questions, decide if you are satisfied with the kind of friend you are. If not, talk to your closest friend and ask them for advice on how to improve
Step 3. Evaluate the people around you
It is said that each of us is the average of the five people closest to us. This idea is based on the law of the mean: the result of a particular event is determined by the average of all possible outcomes. Relationships are no exception. The people you spend the most time with have a strong influence on you, whether you want to or not. Study the closest relationships you have, because those people also define your character.
- Of course, you are an individual, capable of making choices and coming to conclusions on your own. However, the people around you affect your life in so many ways that are often hard to notice. They may introduce you to new foods, fashion styles, books or music. They might help you get a job or stay out late partying with you. They may cry on your shoulder after a breakup.
- Can you identify sides of your character that depend on the people closest to you? Are you satisfied with the traits you inherited from them? In short, if you are surrounded by positive and optimistic people, you will behave like them and experience similar feelings. If, on the other hand, you have negative and toxic people by your side, their attitudes can also have an impact on your life. If you want to understand who you are, look around for the answer.
Step 4. Think about what you do when you are alone
The actions you take as a group say a lot about you, but the same goes for moments of solitude. Often, we are influenced by our social group to think, act and feel a certain way. Conversely, when we are completely alone, we are closer to our true nature, almost immune to the influence of society.
- What do you do when you are alone? Are you unhappy? Are you satisfied? Do you read in silence? Blast the music and dance in front of the mirror? Do you fantasize about your most ambitious dreams?
- Think about the answers and what they reveal about you.
Advice
- Ponder all the points in this article for a few days or weeks to identify your true nature. Don't try to think of everything at the same time.
- Accept who you really are, regardless of what others say. Only you can be you!
