Throughout your life, you will surely have to deal with rude or unkind people. Whether it's a stranger at the supermarket, a roommate or a colleague, there will always be someone who gets on your nerves. There are many different strategies for dealing with rude people, which vary depending on the situation. If someone insults you often or if you have to put up with their rude ways every day, the best solution may be to face them directly so that you can stop their behavior. If you are dealing with a complete stranger and his rudeness is unmotivated, it is not worth wasting your time and you better walk away.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Confront the Person
Step 1. Stay calm
You will not be able to deal with the rude person successfully if you are angry and aggressive.
- If you feel upset or shaken by an unpleasant comment directed at you, take a couple of deep breaths before approaching her. She will not be willing to listen to you if you are too agitated.
- Think carefully for a few moments about what you will say before starting to scream guided by instinct. If you show that the offensive comment did not affect you, the other person will be less inclined to argue. Behaving superior means being confident and being in control of your emotions.
- Do not get in the hands and do not argue; it will only make the situation worse. If you're afraid you won't be able to hold back, ask a friend to accompany you and help you stay calm.
Step 2. Be direct
Avoid beating around the bush or engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Face the person head on, look him in the eye and clearly explain what was the attitude that bothered you. He will not be able to learn from his mistakes if he does not know what he did wrong.
If someone cuts the line in front of you at the grocery store, don't sigh out loud and roll your eyes, hoping they notice you. Face it directly by saying, "Excuse me, I think you walked past me", or "I'm sorry, but the line starts over there."
Step 3. Use irony
If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of making someone take your rudeness seriously, use your sense of humor to ease the tension.
- If someone sitting next to you on the subway chews their sandwich loudly and dirty all over the place, you can smile and say, "Hey, she really likes that sandwich, right?" If he does not understand, continue with: "Would you mind making less noise?".
- Make sure yours is a light irony. Don't be sarcastic or take a passive-aggressive attitude. Be friendly and smile. Your comment should be a joke that both of you can laugh at, not a cheeky comment that can spark an argument.
Step 4. Be polite
Kindness is your best weapon against rudeness. Be a superior person and don't go down to the level of someone who offends you.
- Use a respectful tone of voice and don't be cheeky. You smile.
- Remember to say "Please" and "Thank You". These expressions can be very useful. For example: “Please stop, I find it rude and offensive. I don't appreciate his behavior ", or" There is no need to make such aggressive comments. Thank you".
- Often, people who behave rudely have some problems that plague them. Their rude attitude can be a request for help, or they are looking for a shoulder to cry on. If you know the person you are dealing with well enough, ask them if there is something wrong or if they need help. Make sure you are not asking the question in a sarcastic tone. Try saying: "I've noticed that you've been more nervous lately. Everything is fine? Can I help you?".
Step 5. Try to have a civil conversation
If the person has directly insulted you or said something that they strongly disagree with, express your opinion politely, or ask them why they do that.
- Try to understand his perspective by saying, "What you just said is rude and disrespectful … Why are you saying that?" A constructive dialogue can arise from those words, but make sure that the situation does not degenerate.
- If a heated argument arises and she continues to be rude and disrespectful to you, walk away. You've done everything you can and you should let it go.
- Remember that some people have very deep-seated beliefs. You can't get along with everyone and, however much you try, you won't be able to change everyone's mind.
Step 6. Use first-person affirmations and not second-person affirmations
Sentences with the subject "you" attribute the blame to the listener and accuse him, pushing him on the defensive. Instead, try to express the feelings that make you feel the actions you have undergone.
If a relative keeps making comments about your weight, try saying "When I hear you say similar things about my body, I feel insecure and unhappy with me" instead of "You are so annoying and rude."
Step 7. Talk to the person privately
Nobody likes to be reprimanded in public. If someone is rude to you when you are in a group of people, wait until you have a chance to talk to them face to face.
- If a friend makes racist or sexist comments at a group lunch, wait for everyone else to get up before speaking, or ask them to accompany you to class to discuss with them privately. If you prefer, write him a message like, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute after school?”.
- By talking privately with your friend, the other people in the group will not have to take sides. If they did, the situation would worsen and a rift would arise in your company.
Step 8. Don't think about it too much
If you've talked to the rude person about their behavior and things haven't improved, accept that you've done everything you can.
You can't force someone to behave politely if they want to be rude - it's not your responsibility to correct their mistakes. In fact, if you tried too hard to change her attitude, you would often lead her to do worse. In some cases, you can only accept people's rudeness, understand that you are not to blame and let them find solutions for themselves
Method 2 of 2: Ignore the Person
Step 1. Keep an inscrutable expression
Don't show any emotion. Even if you feel anger, annoyance, or irritation, don't let it show, or the rude person will get what they want with their rudeness.
- Keep calm. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, if you feel like you're losing your temper.
- Stay serious, or try not to reveal any emotion with your facial expression, completely ignoring the person, so that they understand that your time is not worth it.
Step 2. Don't look the person in the eye
Go somewhere else and stare at something in the distance. When you look someone in the eye, you recognize their presence and their actions.
Don't look down at the ground. This body language demonstrates submission and low self-confidence. Keep your gaze up and fixed so that you seem confident and in control of the situation
Step 3. Turn your body away
You can convey a lot of messages with your body language. Turn your shoulders and feet away from your interlocutor. Cross your arms in front of you so that you appear closed and disinterested.
Step 4. Walk away
Keep your head up and walk confidently. If possible, quickly head in the opposite direction of the rude person, without turning around.
- If you don't like the idea of walking away without saying anything, answer briefly. You will show that you have heard what he said, but that you do not agree. You can simply say "Ok" or "I don't know" before turning around.
- If a classmate keeps bragging about getting top marks in his last exam, smile and say "Good". Then, turn your attention to something more important.
- If you know that you will still have to deal with the rude person, because they are a colleague or friend, walking away for a few minutes will give them a chance to calm down. Your hope is that when you meet again his behavior will be different.
Step 5. Avoid the person
Keep your distance from the rude person so that their negativity doesn't regularly affect your life.
- If it is a stranger, it will be very easy; you will probably never see him again.
- If you really can't stand someone you meet every day, try to keep your contact with them to a minimum. If possible, ask for a transfer to the office or take other measures to avoid having to deal with him. Not having to see it will help you a lot.
Advice
- Remember that rudeness is a characteristic of man and that it is impossible to get along with everyone. We all experience moments of irrationality. You may have been rude too!
- Don't take it personally. Often rudeness is the result of personal problems or insecurities, which have nothing to do with you. Even if a person takes out his frustration "on" you, it does not mean that he has it "with" you. Don't internalize his badness as if it were your fault; instead try to approach the situation objectively.
- Even if you have been attacked for a personal reason, take a step back and remember that you have the possibility to choose how the event will affect you. Don't empower people's rudeness by considering it your problem. Trust yourself and your beliefs; don't let rude words ruin your day.
- Always reply tactfully; be polite and don't make it worse. You will demonstrate your maturity and keep your dignity.
- Be polite to the person who offends you: smile, show compassion and ask how they are doing. His rudeness could be a request for help, and an act of kindness may be exactly what he needs. Try to spread positive feelings instead of wasting your energy on negative thoughts.
- Don't talk about such incidents except with your closest friends. It will do you good to let off steam after an emotionally stressful situation, but don't dwell on those thoughts too long. To be superior on these occasions, you don't have to give too much weight to what happened. Furthermore, you will not risk the spread of gossip that can reach the ear of the rude person.
- Observe how rude people are treated by others. You're probably not the only one who finds someone rude. Notice how other people interact with him and if their techniques are successful. You may find some ideas to follow.
Warnings
- Don't be rude yourself. You would only show that the person's behavior bothered you. After all, if you were mean, what difference would there be between you and her?
- Do not change because of a rude person, you will only make them feel a sense of superiority. Rude people often play sneaky power plays; they try to catch you out or manipulate you according to their will.
- Do not do anything that will escalate the conflict, for example, do not go to blows. It is always better to walk away than to try to change a person's mind or offend him to get even.
