Obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD is classified among anxiety disorders and characterized by the presence of obsessive thoughts about certain situations that are considered embarrassing, risky, dangerous or even fatal. Often, if a loved one suffers from OCD, shared spaces, daily routines, and all the practicalities of life are affected. Learn how to manage a person with OCD by recognizing their symptoms, organizing support networks and finding moments to recover energy.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Sharing Everyday Life with Your Loved One
Step 1. Avoid being lenient
A family member or partner with OCD can deeply affect the home atmosphere and the management of schedules. It is essential to know what are the behaviors that, even if capable of reducing the level of anxiety, allow the cycle of this disorder to repeat itself indefinitely. For family members, the temptation to let these gestures repeat themselves or to participate in them is very strong. If you adapt to these behaviors, you will only perpetuate the vortex of fears, obsessions, anxiety and compulsions of your loved one.
- In fact, it has been shown that indulging in the need to perform rituals or alter daily habits leads to worsening of OCD symptoms.
- It is better not to indulge these attitudes by avoiding answering repetitive questions, to reassure the person about his fears, to let him decide the seats at the table during dinner or to involve others in the execution of some gestures before serving the meal. It is difficult to resist these behaviors, especially when they seem totally harmless.
- Unfortunately, if these rituals are part of the routine, a sudden change could have dire consequences. Anticipate to the person with OCD the intention to gradually decrease your involvement in these rituals and that you will limit yourself to participating only a few times during the day. The ultimate goal is to reduce the frequency of your interventions until they stop completely.
- Keeping a journal is a great idea to record times when symptoms appear or circumstances when they get worse. This is a very effective method, especially if the person with OCD is a child.
Step 2. Stand up for your daily habits
As difficult and stressful as it can be for a person affected by this disorder, it is essential that all the people involved continue to live without upsetting their habits. Don't allow this disorder to alter your family's habits and schedules. Let this person know that they can count on you and your understanding, but that you will not feed their ailment.
Step 3. Ask this person to limit obsessive-compulsive behaviors to only certain areas of the house
If you feel the need to perform certain obsessive-compulsive gestures, propose to do it only in certain rooms. Don't let these behaviors affect common areas. For example, if he cannot avoid checking that the windows are closed, propose to do so in the bedroom and bathroom, but not in the living room or kitchen.
Step 4. Help your loved one get distracted from their thoughts
When you feel the irrepressible urge to make a compulsive gesture, you can propose alternative activities, such as going for a walk or listening to music.
Step 5. Don't label or scold OCD sufferers
Don't label your loved one for the ailment they suffer from. Avoid accusing or punishing your loved one when you feel frustrated or overwhelmed by their behavior. It is counterproductive both for your relationship and for the health of the other person.
Step 6. Create an encouraging environment for the one you love
Regardless of how you feel about his condition, you need to be encouraging. Ask her to describe her fears, obsessions and compulsions in detail. Ask how you can help her fight the symptoms (as well as not indulge her rituals). In a quiet tone of voice, explain that compulsive attitudes are a symptom of a disorder and that you don't want to feed them. Affectionate words of encouragement are all that this person needs to learn how to counter compulsive attitudes in the future as well.
This does not mean being lenient towards your loved one. Encouraging her does not mean allowing her to behave this way, but making her responsible for her actions by offering support and a hug when she needs it
Step 7. Involve this person in the decisions to be made
It is important that you feel involved in making choices about your condition. This is especially true in the case of a child with OCD. Consult with the person concerned before discussing the problem with their teacher.
Step 8. Celebrate the small milestones
To overcome the DOC it is necessary to undertake a difficult path. When this person makes little progress, express your full appreciation. As small as the step she has taken may seem, like stopping checking the lights before going to sleep, acknowledge the progress she has made.
Step 9. Find ways to reduce tension in the home
Many times, family members find themselves involved in the rituals of a loved one to reduce their worries or avoid confrontation. Reduce tension by promoting some relaxation techniques, such as yoga, mindfulness meditation, or deep breathing. Encourage loved ones to exercise, as well as adopt healthy eating and sleep habits to help reduce stress and anxiety.
Part 2 of 4: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Join a support group
Seek psychological support through support groups or family therapy. Support groups targeting loved ones of someone with a mental health disorder can provide you with the support you need to manage your frustrations, as well as insights into the topic.
Consult the website of the Italian Association of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (AIDOC) for more information
Step 2. Consider family therapy
Family therapy is a valuable tool because the therapist can educate you on obsessive-compulsive disorder, as well as develop a plan to promote balance in family relationships.
- Family therapy analyzes the organization of the family and examines the relationships between its members to understand what behaviors, attitudes and beliefs contribute to the appearance of the problem. For obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is necessary to identify the members of the family that are functional to reducing anxiety, those who do not contribute to this purpose, the most difficult moments of the day for everyone to manage and understand why.
- In addition, the psychotherapist can suggest which behaviors favor or not the repetition of the rituals based on your specific case.
Step 3. Spend time away from your loved one
Give yourself moments to spend on your own. When the concern for another person is too strong, there is a risk of identifying with his problems. If you spend time away from this person, you will be able to find the strength and balance to deal with detachment from the triggers of his anxiety and behavior.
Go out with your friends once a week and take a short break. Alternatively, find a corner in the house where you can relax in solitude. Spend time in the bedroom to catch up with your reading, or take moments to soak in a soaking tub when your loved one is away
Step 4. Dedicate your interests
Do not get overwhelmed by the disturbance of this person to such an extent that you forget to pursue your passions. In any relationship, it is important that everyone has their own interests and it is essential to have personal outlets, especially in the presence of this disorder.
Step 5. Remember that what you are feeling is normal
Feeling overwhelmed, angry, anxious, or confused about your loved one's ailment is absolutely okay. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a complex disease that often causes confusion and frustration for everyone involved. Remember that these frustrations and feelings are related to a disorder, not to the person suffering from it. As much as his behavior and anxiety may bother and oppress you, remember that obsessive-compulsive disorder is not the only aspect of his character and that this person has much more to offer. You need to internalize this distinction to avoid clashing with your loved one or feeling a grudge against them.
Part 3 of 4: Propose to your loved one to seek professional care
Step 1. Suggest that your loved one get a diagnosis
Starting with an official diagnosis, your loved one will be able to learn how to manage the disorder and take treatment. First, consult your GP, who will subject the patient to physical and laboratory tests, as well as provide a psychological assessment. Having obsessive thoughts or exhibiting compulsive behaviors is not the same as suffering from OCD. Having this disorder means being in a state of anxiety when thoughts and compulsions interfere with your life. Obsessions and compulsions must be present, in conjunction or separately, to be diagnosed with OCD. Here are some useful signs for a professional diagnosis:
- The obsession. By obsession we mean a fixed thought or an inevitable impulse. It is not pleasant and dominates everyday life. Obsession is the cause of a strong state of anxiety.
- The compulsion. Compulsion is a behavior or thought that repeats itself, such as washing hands or counting all the time. In these circumstances, there is a need to abide by strict and self-imposed rules. Through compulsions, an individual tries to calm his anxiety or prevent events. Of course, compulsions are exasperated and useless gestures for this purpose.
- Conditioning of everyday life. Usually, failure to perform certain obsessive-compulsive gestures in certain situations can affect the normal course of the day.
Step 2. Get your loved one to see a therapist
OCD is a very complex disorder and for which professional intervention is often required in terms of therapy and pharmacological treatments. Convincing your loved one to see a specialist to treat their ailment is very important. A very useful methodological approach in the treatment of OCD is cognitive-behavioral therapy or TCC. It is a method used to help sufferers of this disorder change the way they perceive risk and question their fears.
- TCC allows individuals with OCD to examine their perception of risk and how it affects obsessions in order to develop a more realistic one. Furthermore, TCC allows us to analyze how the individual interprets invasive thoughts because it is often the relevance of these thoughts and their interpretation that are the most common cause of anxiety.
- TCC has been shown to work in 75% of patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Step 3. Evaluate exposure therapy with response prevention (from English ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention)
This cognitive-behavioral therapy approach favors the reduction of rituals and the processing of alternative behaviors thanks to the individual's exposure to the images, thoughts or circumstances that trigger his fears.
This therapy implies a gradual exposure of the individual to the triggers of his fears and obsessions in order to progressively identify ways to combat compulsive behaviors. In this phase of the procedure, the subject learns to deal with and manage their anxiety until the event no longer determines its onset
Step 4. Suggest that your loved one consider a drug treatment
The drugs used for the treatment of OCD include different types of antidepressants including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs, Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors), which favor the increase in the amount of serotonin in the brain in order to reduce the level of anxiety.
Part 4 of 4: Recognizing the DOC
Step 1. Check for OCD related symptoms
OCD manifests itself in the thoughts and, subsequently, in the behavior of a person. If you suspect a loved one has OCD, look for the following signs:
- Long intervals of time spent, apparently for no reason, alone (in the bathroom, while getting ready, when doing homework, and so on).
- Cyclical execution of certain gestures (repetitive behaviors).
- I keep questioning myself and the excessive need for reassurance.
- Extreme fatigue in carrying out simple tasks.
- Constant lack of punctuality.
- Unbounded concern for trivial reasons or insignificant details.
- Exaggerated and inadequate emotional reactions for minor events.
- Sleep disorders.
- Inability to go to sleep leaving work pending.
- Important changes in eating habits.
- Increased irritability and a sense of uncertainty.
Step 2. Try to understand what obsessions are
These obsessions can be fear of contagion, fear of being wronged, delusions of persecution from God or other religious figures for having impure thoughts, for example of a sexual nature, or blasphemous. Fear is the engine of OCD: regardless of the risk they run, people with OCD always fear the worst.
This fear generates anxiety and anxiety is the engine of compulsive attitudes, used by OCD sufferers to appease or control the restlessness caused by an obsession
Step 3. Find out what compulsions are
Generally, compulsions are actions or behaviors that are repeated a specific number of times, such as saying a particular prayer, checking the stove or if the front door is locked.
Step 4. Learn about the different forms of DOC
Most people, when reflecting on this disorder, think of those who wash their hands thirty times before leaving the bathroom or turn the light switch on and off exactly seventeen times before bedtime. In reality, DOC manifests itself in a thousand different ways:
- People with a hygiene-related compulsion are afraid of contracting some disease and usually wash their hands very often.
- People who check things repeatedly (if the oven is off, if the door is closed, and so on) tend to consider everyday objects dangerous.
- People who are insecure and with a strong sense of guilt tend to expect an imminent catastrophe and punishment for their sins.
- People obsessed with order and symmetry often have superstitions related to numbers, colors or the arrangement of things.
- People with a tendency to accumulate objects are afraid that they can cause unfortunate events if they throw away anything, even the most insignificant. They stockpile everything from trash to old receipts.
