It is not that unlikely to be in a relationship with a person who has few sexual experiences. If, unlike you, she is even a virgin, you must immediately understand how far you can go. Respect their needs and desires, commit to setting clear boundaries and find new ways to create a strong couple intimacy that goes beyond the physical.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Have Respect
Step 1. Find out what your partner's expectations are
If you are building a relationship with someone who has never had sex, you need to know their expectations. Since everyone thinks differently about sex and sexuality, you should understand what they expect from a relationship and also know what kind of physical contact they want to make with their partner.
- The person you are dating may be a virgin because they practice sexual abstinence. In other words, she gives up sex for religious reasons or because she doesn't feel ready yet.
- If she doesn't have a sex life, try to figure out her choice. People view abstinence in different ways. Some prefer to avoid contact between genitals and are open to other forms of sexual activity. Others understand it more rigorously. Ask your partner what he or she expects physically in a relationship.
- Alternatively, it could be asexual. We speak of asexuality when a subject has neither attraction nor desire of a sexual nature. Unlike those who practice abstinence, asexuality is not a choice. It is an integral part of a person's sexual identity and orientation. In these cases, he may feel attracted to someone without necessarily following that feeling and behaving accordingly. Often, if she is in a romantic relationship, she needs it to meet her need for emotional intimacy. However, sexual activity may not be part of his vision as a couple. If your partner is asexual, they may have particular expectations about sex in your relationship. So, don't hesitate to discuss this at the beginning of dating.
Step 2. Listen
When you talk about sex, virginity, and expectations surrounding your relationship, pay attention to what she says. Make sure you understand her needs and wants in your relationship. So, listen to him when you discuss these topics.
- Active listening makes it possible to promote mutual understanding. When you actively listen to your partner, you offer him full attention. To show interest and commitment, use typical non-verbal communication cues, such as nodding. Focus on what he is saying rather than thinking about the answers to give.
- Repeat his speech when he has finished speaking. Make sure you understand what he said. This way, if you have misunderstood something, it will provide you with further clarification.
- If the person you are dating is a virgin, listening to them is very important. She may feel intimidated by your sexual experiences and have the impression that this diversity involves some imbalance within the couple. You need to make it clear that you respect their condition and that they shouldn't feel distressed.
Step 3. Respect their privacy
Sometimes, it is not easy to talk about one's sexual experiences. While you may be curious to know some aspects of his past, he doesn't necessarily intend to tell you everything. Limits in relationships are personal and subjective.
- She probably doesn't intend to answer certain questions about her virginity. On the other hand, if you have already had sex, you may feel uncomfortable listening to your experiences. While it is important to communicate, always have respect if she fails to address certain topics.
- Don't push the other person to talk about sex if they're premature. Avoid forging ahead, otherwise there is a risk that your serenity will be compromised.
Step 4. Don't force your partner out of their comfort zone
If she is a virgin, physical intimacy will arise slowly. It is essential to respect the needs and wishes of the person around you. Even if you are looking forward to a more intimate contact, don't push her if she doesn't feel ready. Always ask her if she agrees before trying something for the first time and respect her answer. If he doesn't want to, stop.
Part 2 of 3: Setting Limits
Step 1. Be open to expectations regarding physical contact
It can be embarrassing to talk about sexual intimacy and needs. However, it is better to discuss this early in the relationship rather than risk an inadvertent speech or gesture made to make your partner uncomfortable. So, try to be direct from the start and be honest about your expectations regarding sex and physical contact.
- Find out if and when the other person is willing to have sex. She is probably not ready at this stage in life or is expecting marriage. If she is a virgin, perhaps sex is not a component she intends to base her romantic relationships on in the near future. Don't underestimate this aspect at the beginning of your date.
- Try to understand what kind of physical contact might attract her. Even if she abstains from sex, she may enjoy kissing, holding hands and cuddling with her partner, and also accepts other, more discreet forms of physical intimacy. She may also be open to some slightly more transgressive games, such as mutual masturbation or oral sex.
- You also need to know what she doesn't like. It is not fun to stop during a moment of intimacy and set boundaries. If certain sexual acts or practices are out of the question for her, ask her to be honest from the start. Tell your partner: "I understand that you are a virgin, but I want to know how far we can go. What forms of physical contact do you not accept?". In other words, you need to make sure you don't unintentionally make him uncomfortable in the most intimate moments.
Step 2. Make a list
It may seem too formal, but many people find it helpful in setting boundaries in a healthy way. You can get a list on the Internet that contains a variety of sexual practices or games. You can decide together what is good for both of you by placing a check mark next to the chosen items. You can also ask your partner to list which forms of physical contact and activities they deem acceptable and which are not. It is an effective way to concretely know the limits to be respected and avoid confusion during moments of intimacy.
Step 3. Don't rush
If your partner is a virgin, it may take longer to let go. So, be willing to accept his timing. To be fulfilling and make you happy, physical intimacy doesn't have to be built by forging ahead. If the other person has had few sexual experiences, it's probably best to give them a chance to decide when to take a few steps forward.
Step 4. Communicate throughout the relationship
As the relationship evolves, physical barriers and expectations can change. Your partner is likely to have no problem developing stronger intimacy at some point in the story. Conversely, you are likely to find certain forms of physical contact less pleasant over time. Therefore, you must always be clear about your respective needs.
- Periodically review your limits. Take the list made at the beginning of the report and try to understand if the decisions made at the time are still good.
- Talk to your partner during intimate moments. For example, you might ask him, "Is everything okay?" and you like it?". Make sure she feels safe and comfortable when you are together.
- Ask him if he needs to tell you anything. Every now and then don't hesitate to say: "If you want to try something different, I would like you to talk to me quietly." As already stated, some people are not ready to have sex. However, it is possible that at some point they will be willing to take this step. Your partner will feel more comfortable having sex for the first time if they know they can discuss precautions, sexually transmitted diseases, and contraceptive methods with you.
Part 3 of 3: Building Couple Intimacy
Step 1. Consider some alternatives
Physical intimacy is important in a romantic relationship. If your partner is a virgin, you may have a hard time building a certain bond. In addition, it is necessary to consider and satisfy the sexual desires of both. So, look together for valid alternatives to penetrative intercourse.
- Kissing can be very stimulating on a sexual level, especially if it reaches sensitive areas such as the neck and ears. If your partner isn't ready to have sex, you can get aroused just by kissing.
- You can also touch the erogenous zones. The breasts, penis and clitoris are very sensitive parts of the body. If your partner agrees, you can enjoy touching yourself instead of having full sexual intercourse. Oral sex could also be enjoyable for both of you. However, make sure that the other person's abstinence depends on moral or religious factors, because in this case they are likely to view oral sex as a sexual act.
- Mutual masturbation is another alternative to full sex. Basically, it's about masturbating together. It can be a very exciting sex game that doesn't involve penetration.
- There are various ways of touching each other to induce and induce pleasure and play sexual games without reaching the full act. The best way to figure out which form of physical contact is best for both of you is to discuss it and try the various alternatives together.
Step 2. Submit pornographic and erotic material
Many couples find pornography or erotic reading an intimate and exciting experience that can also help them get a clearer idea of the most effective way to arouse their partner. If you are planning to have sex in the future, it would be helpful to know what turns the other person on. Then, offer her to watch some pornographic movies or read erotic stories together. In this way, you will be able to build greater couple intimacy because you will have the opportunity to discover together which fantasies ignite your libido.
Keep in mind that not everyone feels comfortable watching pornography or reading erotic stories with their partner. If the other person disagrees, respect their will
Step 3. Feed emotional intimacy
Physical contact isn't the only way to build a couple bond. Emotional intimacy is also very important to a successful relationship. You will be able to establish it by speaking, by listening to each other, by being together and by opening your heart.
- Talk. Take long walks, chat on the phone and talk late into the night. Sit in a bar and talk without paying attention to the passing of time. Be willing to expose yourself and open up to your partner.
- Meet their emotional needs. If he feels the need to talk to you after a stressful day, try to give him your full attention. Comfort him if necessary. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand how it is possible to help a person. Everyone reacts differently to the support they receive. For example, try asking your partner, "What can I do right now to cheer you up?"
- It takes time to achieve some emotional intimacy. The best way to build it is to spend many moments together. So, don't hesitate to talk to the person you're dating on a daily basis.
