Those who are always looking for attention are often recognizable by their frequent scenes, exuberant stories and the search for heated confrontations. If someone is bothering you with these behaviors, the best thing to do is ignore their taunts. Enforcing the limits of your space can help you stay calm and in control. But if the individual in question is a person dear to you, you could advise them to be followed by a mental health professional so that they can smooth out their behavior.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Reacting to Your Behavior
Step 1. If the person in question does something that bothers you, ignore them
The best way to show that a behavior won't get any attention from you is to ignore it. Don't look at someone who is trying to get your attention and don't ask the person to stop. Just pretend nothing has happened.
- Many of the people with this behavior seek both negative and positive reactions. For example, the person may whistle because they know they are annoying you and they know you will react against them. While it may be very difficult, ignore this kind of provocation in the future. While this happens, use earplugs or listen to some music with headphones.
- If the person tells you stories to get your attention, don't listen to them. For example, you might say, "Now I have to finish a job" or "I'm sorry, but I'm busy right now."
Step 2. Stay calm in the face of his provocations
If you can't ignore this person, try not to show any emotional responses as you interact with them. Don't express anger, frustration, or excitement. Don't even pretend interest. Just keep a calm and indifferent expression.
- For example, if the colleague sitting next to you starts talking about an argument they had with your boss, just nod as you tell them. When he's done, tell him you need to get back to work.
- If he's telling a story, try not to ask questions. Instead, just respond using short sentences like "Not bad" or "Okay".
- However, if the person has something really interesting or fun to tell, don't hesitate to show your interest. Everyone needs genuine attention from time to time. If you are genuinely interested in his hobbies or stories, the conversation could be enjoyable.
Step 3. If he is trying to play the victim, ask him to tell you just the facts
Playing the part of the victim is a common behavior among those who seek attention, as it will allow them to receive understanding and compliments. The person may tell you an unpleasant story about being targeted or insulted. In response, ask objective questions about the facts of the story, not the emotions or perspective of whoever is telling it.
For example, if the person is complaining about how rude a cashier was to them, you might ask, "What exactly did the cashier say? Did he really use those words to offend you? Where was the manager?"
Step 4. Learn to walk away when the situation becomes exaggerated and dangerous
The purpose of the behavior of those who always seek attention is to obtain reactions. Some may even make exaggerated scenes just to get them. If the situation becomes too difficult to handle, walk away. This will make the person understand that he will not get the reactions he expects.
- Don't reward dangerous stunts or tricks with your attention. If the person concerned engages in risky acts to get your attention, say right away, "I don't like to see you hurt yourself. If you keep doing this, I don't think we can continue dating."
- If you think there is a danger that the person could harm themselves or others, offer your help as soon as possible. Some signs that could indicate thoughts of suicide include talking about your death, getting rid of your possessions, or abusing alcohol and drugs.
- If the person makes numerous public scenes with crying, screaming, and screaming, you may want to suggest that they see a mental health professional.
Method 2 of 3: Set Limits
Step 1. Make it clear what behaviors you can and cannot tolerate
Make sure the person in question understands what behaviors will not be tolerated. In this way the person could stop assuming certain attitudes in the future.
- For example, if you don't want me to touch you, you might say, "Would you mind not touching me when you seek my attention? How about knocking on my desk if you need me?" In the future, ignore her every time she touches you.
- You could also say something like, "I know you're a parkour fan, but seeing videos of you jumping off buildings makes me uncomfortable. Please don't show me again."
Step 2. Set limits for conversations and chats
Attention seekers could easily steal an entire day from you with their stories and needs. To help you set limits, make it clear from the start how much time you can spend on a conversation. Once the limit is reached, the conversation is over.
- For example, if he calls you, you might say, "Hey, I can only talk for 15 minutes. What's going on?"
- If you make an appointment with the person, try saying something like, "Let's go to lunch together, but by 2pm I'll have to leave."
- Set an alarm on your phone to remind you when you need to stop the conversation. When it rings, you both know the conversation must end.
Step 3. Unfollow their social media accounts
Some people may share or post too many social media posts like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. If these posts bother you, simply stop following the person in question or stop receiving their posts on your wall.
- The presence of numerous social media posts could indicate that the person needs more human contacts. If you care about the person in question, call or ask them out.
- If you post interesting material on social media, you may be tempted to leave a comment or reply. Try to resist this urge.
Step 4. Minimize contact with this person if they cause you stress, anxiety or discomfort
If the person seeking attention is becoming a burden to you, cut off contact if possible. If not, try to keep any contact to a minimum.
- If it's a family member, you may decide to schedule one phone call a month or only meet them at family gatherings. However, you don't have to constantly answer his calls.
- If this is a colleague at work, make this person understand that you will only discuss work-related issues with them, especially in the office. If she tries to make a scene in the office, give her a time limit before going back to work.
Method 3 of 3: Support a Person You Love
Step 1. Try to understand the possible causes of his behavior
Sometimes the behaviors of those who constantly seek attention can be the result of trauma, neglect, or other stressful situations. It can also be a sign of low self-esteem or a sense of inadequacy. If you care about the person concerned, try to find time to talk to them and understand what may be causing their behaviors.
- You could start the conversation by saying: "How are things going lately?".
- The other person does not necessarily have to talk about their problems. You can just say something like, "In case you need to talk, you know I'm there."
Step 2. Try to boost his self-esteem when he is not actively seeking your attention
The person in question may fear that they will not receive attention and approval unless actively seeking it. Let the person know that you love them even when you're not directing your attention to them.
- You could text her at a random moment, like "Hey, I was thinking about you. Hope you're having a great day!", Or "I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do."
- You might even say to her, "Even if we're apart, you're still important to me."
- It is important to make sure that you are looking for her, so that she does not have the opportunity to engage in all those behaviors intended to get your attention. This will help reassure her that she doesn't need big scenes or fights to get positive attention.
Step 3. If you think the person could harm themselves, advise them to consult a professional
The person may engage in extreme behaviors such as threatening to harm or kill himself, lock himself in the bedroom, or break down in highly emotional situations. Typically these warning signs indicate the presence of psychological problems. The good news is that the person you care about can be helped and can receive specific treatment from a mental health professional.
- You could say to your loved one, "I've noticed that you haven't been feeling very well lately. I love you and know that I want to make sure you get all the help you need."
- These behaviors can actually be a call for help. Try not to underestimate certain behaviors as simple attitudes of those who are seeking attention. His attitudes may be legitimate in some cases.
- Personality disorders, such as histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder, can cause people to have extreme attitudes in order to get the attention of others.
