Are you trying to get hold of your hand by the guy who drives you crazy? Or are you trying to find the best way to start holding the guy you like by the hand? Either way, there are some simple steps you can take to get through this crucial and romantic first step.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Get Someone Shake Your Hand
Step 1. Look for eye contact
If you want a guy to hold your hand, start by simply looking him in the eye, smiling discreetly. This will let him know that you are interested in him and that you are open to physical contact.
You can also try to walk closer to him when walking. Physical closeness, in addition to eye contact, will make you seem interested and responsive to her presence
Step 2. Tap it first
Opening up the possibility of physical contact is important. Touch your fingers at dinner or when you get out of the car. If you are walking side by side, gently hold his arm or hold him arm in arm. They are kinder forms of contact that let the guy know that you are open to contact.
You can try holding your hand by taking the boy's hand and leading him somewhere, letting go once you reach your destination. This way, you will hold your hand for a while but without the stress of an "official" hand grip
Step 3. Give him subtle clues
The guy may need some clues to let him know you want to hold your hand. Try giving them subtly. The boy may be nervous, so encouraging him is always helpful.
- If you are in the cinema, place your hand on the armrest, palm up as an invitation. You can also drop your hand from its side of the armrest. The guy should notice this and understand that you want him to keep it.
- Say your hands are cold. Tell him you have cold hands or ask him if you have cold hands. If you're lucky, the guy will try to warm them up. This is a cute and flirty way to get hold of your hand.
- Ask to compare the size of the hands. Keep your hand in the air and when the guy raises his, bring your palm close to his, comparing the size. This way your hands will be close and you will let him know that you would like him to hold it.
Step 4. Be brave
If for some reason the guy still hasn't figured out that you want him to hold your hand, you initiate the contact. Gently take his hand and squeeze it gently, letting him know you care. If you're nervous, the guy probably will be too. This could help you both relax.
Confidence and initiative are attractive qualities, so being the first to hold the guy's hand will let him know that you are interested in him and want you to become more intimate
Step 5. Intensify the squeeze
When you and your boyfriend are holding hands without embarrassment, try to take the initiative and use a more intimate way of taking the hand. If you are holding his hand, open your fingers and move them until they line up with the boy's fingers. Open your fingers slightly, pushing each one between the boy's fingers, and then intertwine them.
Part 2 of 2: Start Holding Hands
Step 1. Assess the level of interest
If you're on a date, look for discreet signs that might indicate he's ready to hold your hand. If he was always distant during the date, it is a sure sign that he is not interested. If, on the other hand, he was walking close to you and seemed comfortable, this is a good sign to try and hold his hand.
If the guy has found a lot of small opportunities to initiate physical contact, such as playfully pushing you or holding your arm, he is most likely willing to hold your hand
Step 2. Check your hands
You may be nervous, so make sure your hands aren't sweaty or sticky. If they are, dry them discreetly or keep them in your pocket for a moment. The guy might be nervous too, but sweaty palms aren't very attractive.
Make sure your hands are clean and hydrated. Hands that are too dry or smelly are worse than sweaty hands
Step 3. Wait for the right time and place
If you're in the middle of a dinner party or doing an activity that requires you to move around a lot, holding your hand isn't very practical. You shouldn't hold his hand for the first time when you are with friends or at a family reunion. You don't have to be alone, but make sure it's a private place where both of you are comfortable.
- Try a walk on the beach, a hike or a stroll along the streets of the neighborhood. There may be other people present, but strangers probably won't pay attention to you, and will give you the privacy you need.
- A cinema is a great place to hang out for yourself. Since you are sitting next to each other, your positions are perfect for holding hands. Darkness increases privacy and can help in case your boyfriend is shy.
Step 4. Take his hand
When you have found the right place and time and you feel ready, walk next to your boyfriend and gently take his hand. Remember to be gentle and not to be in a hurry. Do this as discreetly as possible and remember to keep talking or walking to make sure this is a natural and not awkward moment.
- Make sure you don't lean too far forward and don't scare the boy when you try to take his hand. You don't want to give the wrong impression in these early stages of a relationship.
- You can also try gently stroking your hands on the guy's arm before shaking his hand. This will warn him before taking his hand and add a nice, more intimate touch to the situation.
- If your boyfriend pulls back, don't force him. He may not be interested, but he may also be shy and not ready to hold your hand. Don't take it personally and try to make him feel comfortable in this situation. Eventually you will get there.
Step 5. Start with something simple
Just hold his hand in the beginning. When you take his hand, make an X between yours and hers. Gently close your hand, wrapping your fingers and thumb around the boy's hand.
- For a more intimate moment, you can stroke the back of his hand with your thumb. This way your squeeze will be more affectionate and let him know you like the situation without having to say it. If he reciprocates the gesture, you are doing it right.
- Try not to over-tighten. You could make it uncomfortable and make your hands sweat.
