If you are an introvert, but you don't really know what it means, or if you spend time in the company of people who have the typical traits of introversion, it is good to get a better idea of everything that that type of personality implies.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Understanding Introverts
Step 1. Try to understand what are the characteristic traits of an introvert
Such a personality tends to be quiet and thoughtful, easily drained from noisy, energetic environments. Introverts are often regarded as "thinkers" and people believe they are satisfied with loneliness.
Step 2. Observe how this person "recharges" their batteries in times of stress, fatigue or exhaustion
It is a key indicator for understanding the difference between extroverts and introverts.
- Extroverts tend to recharge their batteries by interacting with others, socializing, and taking part in meetings or events. They are energized by social stimuli.
- Introverts tend to recharge their batteries by distancing themselves from social occasions and people, sitting alone or perhaps talking to just one or two trusted people. In fact, the excessive stimulation given by the time spent together with others, the noise and constant comings and goings drain the energy of an introvert. Without this possibility of distancing, an introvert becomes irritable, tense, grumpy, and feels uncomfortable.
Step 3. Remember that introverts are at increased risk of being overstimulated in certain environments
An introvert tends to be quite sensitive to external stimuli, such as noise, light, and activity. If an extrovert can work with the background radio without having any problems, an introvert may find it a strong distraction, so only total silence will allow him to work efficiently.
Part 2 of 4: Some Factors to Consider
Step 1. Avoid assuming that there is an underlying inequality between introverts and extroverts
No personality type is better or worse than another. In modern times, the qualities of extroverts tend to be praised, as they are associated with social and professional ascent. In many places, announcing your presence out loud and selling your skills to the rest of the world is critical to success in a competitive job and sales industry. All of this is considered difficult by many introverts (though not impossible). However, quieter personalities are just as legitimate and important as louder ones, with the only difference that they prefer not to be the center of attention as often.
Step 2. Remember that each individual has a personality marked by both typical elements of introversion and extroversion
However, generally some people are more extroverted and others more introverted, with some sort of intermediate flexibility where the two traits cross. The trait may only be evident in certain situations or in any context, depending on the individual. Each person is characterized by numerous traits, introversion and extroversion are two parts of a larger whole. In any case, there is a more marked tendency towards one of the two traits, so this affects how a person balances their time, their social interactions, and their "recharge" needs.
- How typical introversion traits are expressed (and to what extent) depends on the situation.
- Some people find themselves on the extremes of introversion or extroversion. Life can be much more difficult for these individuals than for those who find a greater balance between the two trends. This does not mean that they are not "normal", it means that they are more predisposed to having problems in social contexts where people have certain expectations regarding "typical" behaviors and interactions.
- The term "ambiverse" is used for people who equally display elements of introversion and extroversion. In reality, it is possible that an ambiverse individual is introverted or extroverted, but he expresses the predominant trait in a moderate way, still feeling comfortable in the expression of both.
Step 3. Avoid making assumptions based on a person's tendencies
It is often tempting to put anyone into a category, but the human personality is much more complex, so this approach is incorrect. Whether it's for yourself or for others, avoid thinking that a personality trait completely defines an individual. It is not so and it is impossible that it is. The overall personality is determined by many more variables, as well as by the social skills that can be acquired.
- The fact that a person is considered an introvert does not mean that they cannot have authority, power, be in the spotlight and so on. There are many famous introverts known to be great leaders, inspirers and innovators.
- When needed, an extrovert will sometimes take the time to think, think deeply, and be alone. The fact is that for an extroverted personality, spending a lot of time like this is not a requirement or not that important. However, just as an introvert shouldn't be labeled in absolutist terms, this shouldn't be done as an extrovert either.
Step 4. Avoid labeling introverts with the adjective "asocial"
It is unfair and rude. Introverts participate in social gatherings, are likely as friendly, sociable and loose (all skills or personality traits that are acquired or that are innate, but that have nothing to do with extroversion or introversion) as others. Every human being appreciates interpersonal contact, the question simply lies in the amount of such contact, with whom and for how long. Introverts are more likely to manage interactions with the aim of minimizing exhaustion and overwhelming emotions that can occur, at least those who have experienced such experiences firsthand.
- Both extroverts and introverts are equally capable of learning and applying social skills. Similarly, the opposite can happen for both an extrovert and an introvert, so both can be inappropriate in social settings. Social skills are very different from personality traits.
- Many introverts have professions that involve some interaction with people of different types. What you will discover is that they have painstakingly developed systems that allow them to manage the repetition of the interaction. For example, they may make only a few appointments in a day, decline any invitations after work that are not a good investment of their time for the expected return. An introvert is less likely to use social events as a mode of recreation or habit, rather think about the benefits before attending.
Step 5. Remember that age can affect introversion and extroversion traits
As the years go by, it softens and some of the more obvious extremes of introversion or extroversion become less pronounced, both personality types shifting to an intermediate point. This allows extroverts to access their more reflective side, while introverts to find their voice and stand up for what they believe in. Many of these results come from the wisdom that is acquired with experience, provided that a person learns the various lessons and feels secure in their own life.
Part 3 of 4: Interacting with Introverted People
Step 1. Open up to learning
This section dedicated to interacting with introverts is suitable for everyone: the fact that you are does not mean that you automatically know how to interact with other introverts.
Step 2. Listen with attention and interest
Introverted people like to know they are being heard, but they don't go out of their way to make sure their interlocutor is listening. If they think you can't bother to pay attention, they will curl up and say no more. If you switch from one person to another while networking (an event feared by most introverts), that is unlikely to worry you. However, if you are looking to connect with an introvert, you need to make an effort to really tune in and listen well.
Step 3. Introverts will listen to you, in depth
Don't think that what was said in the previous passage is one-sided. An introvert loves to listen once the interlocutor has made it clear that they are interested in listening to him. He can be an attentive and present listener to whom he can entrust his ideas, notions and concerns. Since introverted people tend to be good at listening, they will listen to you when you have a problem or need advice, wait for you to finish talking and give you an opinion or offer to think about your words and then come back with a solution. or an idea.
Step 4. Give them space
As explained above, contrary to what happens with introverts, the energy of introverts is drained when they spend a lot of time with others. So, if your introverted friend doesn't want to be with you 24/7, don't be upset. It is nothing personal, it is essential to his well-being and happiness.
- In the case of introverts, a lot of information is processed after the interaction or event. This is why the time of detachment and separation from others is so important. It is in this moment that clarity, deepening of understanding and elaboration of all that has been learned are formed. An introvert finds it nearly impossible to instantly process information during a social interaction, so they may end up feeling stressed or needing to walk away should they have to make a decision or give an opinion on the spot.
- Respect the fact that an introverted person needs more time than you do. While you may feel ready to move forward with something, make a decision or take action, it may take a little longer for an introverted friend, colleague, or client to get to the same point as you. Do not think that his tranquility or lack of willingness to get on board immediately is a sign of rejection or exclusion: this is not the case. Instead, by accepting that the introvert needs space and time to process, you will be able to understand that it is a need, not an insult or a rejection of your person.
Step 5. Work with the introvert's strengths
Introverts are surrounded by a lot of negativity, yet they have some very good qualities that are very beneficial. After all, a useless trait would never evolve. Here are some of their strengths:
- Be cautious, risk averse and reflective;
- Write in an articulate manner;
- Thinking analytically;
- Keep calm during a crisis (unless they are overwhelmed by something), convey inner calm and peace;
- Being scrupulous and good at focusing on tasks that require maximum attention;
- Be good at listening and giving prudent advice;
- Be independent;
- Be persistent and determined, willing to consider a long-term overview;
- Being empathetic, diplomatic and willing to compromise.
Part 4 of 4: Living with an Introvert
Step 1. If you live with an introvert, learn to be grateful for them
Next to you you have a person who will make your home a real paradise!
Step 2. Remember that the introvert needs detachment
Don't take it as personal rejection or as an insult. This serves to recharge his energy. If he worries you, talk to him and ask him to be clear when he needs to get away and be alone. That way everyone else will know what's going on and won't bother him or take it personally.
Step 3. Give it space
An introvert needs a space of his own in the house, quiet and undisturbed to take refuge. If not offered, he can become stressed and tense, which can affect the mood of all other people living with him.
If space is scarce, try to organize yourself to have all extroverts leave the house once a day, letting the introvert have a moment of total peace
Step 4. Take advantage of your strengths
If you are an outgoing person and your partner is an introvert, share the household chores by assigning them according to your abilities. For example, your partner may be better at verifying their tax returns and choosing colors to decorate the house, while you have more skills for organizing parties and welcoming guests warmly or calling the plumber and asking for a quote to renew the now dilapidated bathroom. Talk openly about activities that are difficult for the introverted person and compromise to divide up commitments.
Step 5. If both of you are introverted, be careful, as you risk dodging problems neither of you want to deal with
Also, try not to lock yourself in a glass jar and stop making friends or stay in touch with friends. Sure, you support each other and you are enough, but having a broader point of view is critical to fueling your insatiable need to grasp the deeper meaning of life.
- If you are too similar, it is possible that you become overly dependent on each other. Pay attention to this possibility, make sure you widen your social circle and do separate activities. Being similar is a source of comfort, but it doesn't have to become a crutch.
- Appreciate that you are similar, but at the same time strive to challenge each other to fully live.
Advice
- Be the quiet person every now and then. Your friend won't always be silent. Introverts have times when they love to sing, dance, and be the center of attention, even if for a little while.
- Shyness is not synonymous with introversion. Some introverts can be shy, but it's a mistake to think everyone is. Being shy means being afraid of contacts and social situations, while being introverted means finding these situations exhausting and overwhelming when they are in high doses. That said, a shy introvert tends to be doubly anxious in social settings.
- As Elaine Aron noted, highly sensitive people (HSPs) are not the same as introverts. They are found in both the extroversion and introversion spectra, although they tend to be more introverted.
Warnings
- Open offices are not a good environment for many introverts. Noise, constant interruptions and a lack of privacy can make them feel exposed, vulnerable and overwhelmed.
- Remember that the person you're dealing with doesn't necessarily know their personality. If she is always irritable, seems overwhelmed and overstimulated in social and work environments, it is possible that she has not yet accepted her character needs and is not carving out moments of solitude to recharge her energy. You may be able to help her and suggest that she could benefit from better understanding the typical traits of introversion.
