Bulimia is an eating disorder in which those affected swallow large quantities of food (compulsive binges) and then force themselves to eliminate it through self-induced vomiting, the use of laxatives or fasting (purgation). Although the problem seems to revolve around food, bulimia is based on the person's inability to manage stressful or emotionally difficult life situations. You can't force a friend with bulimia to change, but you do have the option to offer your help. If you suspect that he has this eating disorder, you can help him by learning about his problem, talking to him, and learning to support and help him.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Knowing the Symptoms of Bulimia
Step 1. Realize that bulimia is a mental health disorder
Although most commonly found in teenagers and young adults, men and women can be bulimic at any age. The cause is believed to lie in the inability to handle the most painful or distressing emotions.
- Compulsive binges help a bulimic person calm down. They allow her to feel less angry, unhappy, or lonely. When he overdoes his food, he can consume thousands of calories.
- On the other hand, purgation allows those who are bulimic to have greater control of their body. It is the way in which the sense of helplessness and self-loathing overrides.
- Bulimia is a cycle based on emotional rather than rational reactions. Just knowing your behavior is out of control isn't enough to change it.
Step 2. Watch for signs of food cravings
The bulimic often overindulges in secret when alone. He knows his behavior is abnormal. Try to hide overeating from others by eating late at night or in a secluded place where no one can see it.
- Typical signs of compulsive binging include finding piles of empty wrappers that contained high-calorie foods, disappearing food from the cupboard and refrigerator, and secret stash of sweets or junk foods.
- Sometimes those who give in to the temptation to overeat may eat normally in the company of other people, give the impression that they are eating less, or say they are on a diet. It is not certain that abnormal eating behaviors are easily noticed especially if the bulimic person hides them.
Step 3. Pay attention to the signs of purgation
Forced elimination of food often occurs immediately after a compulsive meal or binge. If you have the impression that the bulimic person is going to the bathroom more often than usual or if you suspect that he is vomiting, he is likely to be in a forced elimination course.
- The bulimic can use mouthwash, breath mints, or perfume to hide the smell of vomit.
- He can turn on the sink faucet to cover the sound of gagging.
- Additionally, you may notice packs of diuretics or laxatives used for purging.
Step 4. Consider if your friend is over-exercising
When it is excessive and practiced regardless of weather conditions and health, exercise can also be a method of purging.
- Since physical activity is usually considered a useful and healthy practice, it is difficult to know if it is a symptom of bulimia. However, excessive purging can be as damaging to health as any other method of purging.
- If he gradually isolates himself from his friends to train, this behavior could indicate that exercise is becoming a forced elimination course. It is possible that he does not go to work or school to train, that he prioritizes sport over his family, social life, his health and safety, that he feels guilty or anxious when not exercising, and that he exercises alone to avoid being seen or noticed by other people.
- If your friend exhibits these compulsive training symptoms, he may also be suffering from a sports addiction.
Step 5. Notice if your friend seems obsessed with food
Maybe he avoids eating in public or it seems that there is no other topic or thought for him than that of food. Perhaps he is overly focused on calorie consumption, particular diets or calorie control.
- He may find excuses not to sit at the table with others, perhaps saying that he is not hungry, that he has already eaten or that he is not feeling well.
- He is anxious about what people might think when he eats and feels embarrassed.
Step 6. Pay attention to changes in physical appearance
Bulimia sufferers can lose or gain a lot of weight in a short period of time, become increasingly self-critical of their appearance, and develop a distorted perception of their body image. You may notice that she wears loose fitting clothing to hide her body shapes.
- The bulimic sees himself as rather overweight, even if it is not true.
- Notice if your teeth have yellowed (a sign of purgation) from stomach juices that are ruining your tooth enamel.
Step 7. Pay attention to other physical changes
Physical manifestations of bulimia include: brittleness of nails and hair; slowing of respiratory activity and pulse; dry skin and cyanosis; growth of fine hair all over the body; continuous feeling of cold; constant feeling of fatigue.
- Physical symptoms invisible to the observer's eye include anemia, weakness, and muscle wasting. People with bulimia can also suffer from severe constipation.
- Bulimia is usually accompanied by osteopenia or osteoporosis (thinning of the bones).
Part 2 of 3: Talk to Your Friend
Step 1. Find a quiet time to be together with him
Eating disorder sufferers often feel a strong sense of shame. Your friend may get defensive or deny that they have a problem. You will need to be very tactful when talking to him.
- Specify which episodes made you worry.
- When expressing your concerns, avoid using a tone that can judge him and listen to anything he says willingly and respectfully.
- Be prepared to speak multiple times. Since eating disorders are accompanied by a great sense of shame, your friend is unlikely to admit their problem right away.
Step 2. Don't focus on its outward appearance or food
Instead, talk about your friendship and relationship. For example, if you have noticed that he is often alone than before, tell him you haven't seen him for a long time instead of accusing him of binging in secret. Emphasize how much you love him.
- Remind him that you are concerned about his health.
- Avoid complimenting or criticizing her physical appearance. Regardless of good intentions, you will only provoke negative reactions in a person suffering from an eating disorder.
Step 3. Encourage him to ask for help
Tell him that there are several support groups, psychologists, and other counselors who can help him out. Make a list of professionals in your area and remind them that they can choose how to get help.
- Don't make him ask for help. The decision must start with the person suffering from an eating disorder.
- Remember that bulimia is essentially an emotional response to the feeling of being out of control.
- If your friend does not want help, ask him to consider visiting to rule out any health problems that need immediate medical attention.
Step 4. Don't force a bulimic person to stop binging and purging
If you try to get her to stop, she will perceive this attempt as a kind of control and will try to resist. It is certainly not easy to allow her to continue this dangerous behavior, but forcing her to stop will only create more difficulties for her.
- A power struggle over food will be of no effect to her.
- Focus on what he's going through on an emotional level. For example, try to highlight the link between food and stress by telling her, "I have noticed that you spend more time alone when you are stressed. What makes you nervous and tense?"
Step 5. Talk to someone who could help you
If your friend doesn't admit his problem, you can't force him. Bulimic individuals have to decide for themselves if they need to deal with their disorder. Talk to someone else about how you could offer support to your friend.
- See if you can get help from a support group for friends and family of people with eating disorders.
- By talking to someone who has overcome an eating disorder, you have the opportunity to educate yourself and better understand this behavior.
- A psychologist will allow you to identify what you can do to help your friend and how the latter should act for his or her good.
Part 3 of 3: Offering Assistance and Support
Step 1. Remind your friend that you love him
Express your concern by basing it on the fact that there is a friendship between you, not because he is wrong or unable. Don't expect immediate progress or changes in their behavior.
- He needs hope, encouragement and kindness. Don't hesitate to give him all this!
- Keep in mind that her eating disorder doesn't even have to do with you or your friendship.
Step 2. Help him inquire about how he can get out
Treatment options include psychotherapy, nutritional counseling, support groups, and rehabilitation at an eating disorder center. Treatments vary from person to person, but usually involve a combination of different types of treatment. For example, an individual may need to go to psychotherapy once every two weeks, combined with nutritional counseling sessions and weekly meetings at a support group. If you also have health problems, however, you could benefit more by going to an eating disorder center.
- Family therapy is also helpful in managing the repercussions that could occur on the whole family.
- The treatment of people with bulimia focuses on the physical as well as psychological aspects that characterize this disorder. In fact, it prepares them to have a healthier relationship with food and to better manage stress and adversity.
Step 3. Be patient
It takes time to recover from an eating disorder. In the meantime, as you try to help your friend, you must learn not to neglect your own needs. Don't get involved to the point where you don't take care of yourself anymore.
- Find time during the day to relax, meditate, and pursue your interests.
- If you neglect yourself, you will be of no use to your friend. If you find that you are having a hard time putting your personal needs before his own, consider moving away from him for some time.
