Strategies need to be found to help a friend who is having suicidal thoughts. While it is important to take all suicide threats seriously, know that you you are not responsible for another's life.
Steps
Step 1. Recognize your limitations
You are in no way responsible for the health or well-being of another person, you are not a professional in the field.
Step 2. Be direct
If you have any suspicions that a friend is depressed and / or is considering suicide, don't hesitate to ask them directly: "Are you thinking of harming yourself?", For example. If he answers yes, ask him the following three questions:
- Have you thought about how you would do it?
- Do you have what it takes to carry out this plan?
- When would you do it?
Step 3. If you are concerned that he may do it immediately, ask for help
It is better to risk offending that person than to risk losing a friend. Call 112 or the local helpline (usually found in the yellow pages).
Step 4. Listen and don't judge
Let your friend express his feelings without getting into an ethical debate about suicide. Don't ask him "why?" and don't act shocked, as these reactions could push him away and put him on the defensive.
Step 5. Express your concern and show support
If it is natural in your friendship to express your feelings for each other, tell him how important he is to you and share with him the hope that he will change his mind about his intentions. You don't say right or wrong things when you're talking about love and concern for that person.
Step 6. Offer him realistic hope
Let your friend know that there are possible alternatives, but without giving him trivial reassurance; if you minimize the complexity of the circumstances, he might think that no one understands it.
Step 7. Only make promises you know you can keep
For example, tell him that you are willing to talk to him and / or be with him for an hour, not all night. Don't let him make you swear to keep it a secret.
Step 8. Remove anything they could use to commit suicide
If you can, prevent your friend from accessing the means that can harm him: knives, pills, or other lethal weapons.
Step 9. Call a suicide toll-free number, or 112
Consult some local or national telephone support sites online (check the first pages of the phone book or search on Google). With his permission, put your friend in contact with these centers.
Step 10. Involve others
Nobody should handle these problems alone. Don't hesitate to contact your friend's family, other friends, a therapist, or even involve the police if necessary.
Step 11. Take care of your own needs
Interacting with your friend can be stressful and emotionally draining you. Make sure you get support for yourself from other friends, family, or a professional.
Step 12. Most important of all, you MUST NOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE HEALTH, HAPPINESS OR LIFE OF ANOTHER PERSON
Find the right balance between being interested and supportive and your personal needs, and maintain constructive sincerity in this balance with your friend, if necessary.
Advice
- Get him to talk, so he can express the weight he is carrying and has a chance to calm down.
- Be careful when calling the police. They are trained to protect others and themselves by force if necessary. If your friend is prone to violence or outbursts, suicide could actually occur due to the stressful presence of the police.
- You can pray for him (if you are a believer).
- Online resource:
Warnings
- Be aware that interning someone against their will should only be a last resort, to use when you see that they are using real violence towards themselves or others. Know that having a friend interned could end your friendship. Even if you manage to save him, he will no longer be able to love you, or trust you again.
- Avoid offering him quick fixes or belittling his feelings.
