Depression is a serious illness that affects many people. If you have a friend who suffers from this mood disorder, you will probably have a thousand doubts about how to help him. There are several ways to assist a friend with these conditions, from encouraging him to heal himself to supporting him with kind words. Read on to learn how to help a friend who is suffering from depression.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Helping Your Friend Treat Depression
Step 1. Check your friend for depressive symptoms
You will likely suspect that your friend is depressed by the way he behaves. If you're not sure, there are common signs of depressive disorders that can help you determine if something is wrong. Some of the more common symptoms include:
- Persistent feeling of sadness
- Loss of interest in one's passions, friends and / or sex;
- Excessive tiredness or slowing of the thought process, speech or movement
- Increased appetite or loss of appetite;
- Difficulty sleeping or hypersomnia
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions;
- Irritability;
- Sense of hopelessness and / or pessimism;
- Weight loss or gain
- Suicidal thoughts
- Headache or digestive problems
- Sense of guilt, worthlessness and / or helplessness.
Step 2. Encourage your friend to speak to a doctor
As soon as you begin to suspect that your friend is suffering from depression, you should encourage him to see a doctor. He is likely to deny that there is a problem or may even be embarrassed to admit that it exists. Because some depressive symptoms are atypical, those who are not a health specialist do not know how to associate them with this mood disorder. Apathy and numbness are often not seen as symptoms of depression. Maybe more encouragement may be all it takes for your friend to seek help.
- For example, say, "I'm worried about you and I think you should talk to a doctor about how you've been feeling lately."
- Encourage him to also consult a psychologist.
Step 3. Let him know that you are willing to help him
Even if he accepts the idea of asking for help, he will probably be too depressed to worry about finding a specialist and making an appointment. By constantly offering your help, you can make sure he gets the help he needs.
- Offer to make the appointment for him and accompany him to the doctor so that you can support him.
- Offer to help him write a list of questions to ask the doctor before the appointment.
Part 2 of 3: Support Your Friend
Step 1. Encourage him every day
Depression can lead a person to feel worthless, but you can use reassuring words to support your friend until he realizes his priceless value again. Try saying something encouraging to him every day to show that you care for him and that his presence is as valuable to you as it is to others.
- Highlight his strengths and goals he has achieved so far to help him recover. For example, you might say, "You are such a gifted artist. I really admire your talent" or "I think it is amazing that you were able to raise three wonderful children by yourself. Not everyone has this strength."
- Give him hope by remembering that his current state of mind is momentary. People with depression often feel that nothing can ever get better. In these cases, point out that there is no such danger. For example, say, "Now you can hardly believe me, but what you hear will change."
- Avoid saying, "It's all in your head" or "Shake off this situation!". If you make these kinds of judgments, there is a risk that you will feel worse and that your depressive state will worsen.
Step 2. Let your friend know that you are close to him
Depression can lead people to feel isolated and abandoned by others. Even if you have shown interest in trying to help him out, he may need to be told that you are genuinely close to him. Let him know that you are available and that he can contact you right away if he needs you.
- You can communicate your willingness to help by saying, for example, "I know you are having a hard time right now, so I just want you to know that I am close to you. Call me or text me if you need me."
- Try not to be discouraged if he doesn't respond to your attention the way you want or expect. It is normal for people with depression to be apathetic even towards the people who care for them.
- Remember that sometimes the best way to show support is to simply stand by those who are suffering. You could spend time with him watching a movie or reading, without forcing him to talk about depression or even hoping that he will manifest cheerfulness. Accept it for what it is during this time.
- Set limits on when you can accept phone calls or messages. It matters little to what extent you are willing to help your friend, make sure this situation doesn't take over your life. Show him that you care about him, but make it clear that if an emergency arises in the middle of the night, he should go to a suicide prevention phone line, such as Hotline Phone (199.284.284) or 911.
Step 3. Listen to your friend when he wants to talk
To support him during the healing process, it is important to listen and try to understand what he is going through. Let me tell you about his feelings when he feels ready.
- Don't force him to express what he feels. Just let him know that you are willing to listen to him when he feels ready. Give it time.
- Be careful when you listen to it. Nod and try to react appropriately to show him that you are paying attention.
- Every so often during the conversation, try to repeat what he says to let him know that you are actively listening.
- Don't get defensive, trying to take control of conversations or ending sentences for her. Be patient even though it may be difficult at times.
- Continue to show him that you are listening by saying, for example, "I see", "Go on" and "Yes".
Step 4. Recognize the warning signs of suicide
Sometimes, depressed people commit suicide when the sense of hopelessness and helplessness becomes too heavy to bear. If he talks about this topic, take it seriously. Don't assume he won't put his thoughts into action, especially if you have strong evidence that a plan is maturing. Be alert when you see the following warning signs:
- Threaten or talk about suicide
- He utters phrases that indicate that he no longer cares and that he will no longer be present;
- He gives away his things, making a will or making arrangements for a funeral;
- Purchase a pistol or other firearm;
- Show sudden, unexplained cheerfulness or serenity after a period of depression.
- If you notice any of this behavior, get help right away! Call a doctor, a mental health facility, or a suicide prevention telephone line (such as Telefono Amico at 199.284.284) for advice on what to do.
Part 3 of 3: Helping Your Friend Overcome Depression
Step 1. Plan fun activities to do together
As he begins to feel better, continue to support him to get rid of his depression by planning a few pleasant outings together. Choose activities that both of you enjoy and make sure that everything is done so that it always has a future perspective. Plan to go to the movies together, take a weekend walk, or have a coffee.
Just make sure he doesn't feel compelled to do what he doesn't feel ready for yet. Be patient and persistent
Step 2. Laugh with your friend
Laughter is known to be the best medicine, and there is a reason. Recent studies have shown that laughing helps relieve depressive symptoms and puts depressed people in tune with others. You probably know better than anyone what can give your friend a smile, so use it regularly to bring him a touch of joy.
- Make sure you only use humor in appropriate situations. If you let off steam or cry, it's not a good idea to tell a joke.
- Don't be discouraged and don't feel useless if he doesn't laugh. Sometimes it is very difficult to perceive emotions, even the beautiful ones, but there is the hope that over time the situation will improve.
Step 3. Watch out for depressive relapses
Just because your friend is feeling better doesn't mean he's healed. Depression is characterized by episodes, which means that they can recur. People with this mood disorder often experience various depressive attacks throughout their lives. If it looks like your friend is sinking into depression, ask him what's going on.
- Try saying, for example, "I've noticed that you look very tired lately. When did you start feeling this way?"
- Offer your help as you have done so far and continue to encourage him as always.
Step 4. Take care of yourself
Helping a friend cope with depression is a difficult task. To prevent an emotional crisis from occurring, you must also take care of yourself. Try to spend at least 30 minutes a day exclusively for you. Use these moments to focus on your needs, pamper yourself, or just do what you want. Make sure whatever you do feeds your physical, spiritual, and / or emotional needs. Here are some ways to put your time to good use:
- Take a yoga class;
- Take a nice relaxing bath;
- Read a book;
- Keep a journal in which to write what you think and feel;
- Meditate or pray;
- Go for a walk or a bike ride;
- Spending time with other people who can support and encourage you as you help your friend overcome depression.
Advice
- When your friend tells you what they are feeling, don't start talking about your problems. This behavior could lead him to believe that his depressive state is not as important as your worries, risking making the situation worse.
- Ask him each day how the day went. Don't forget it. Always talk about normal everyday life and he will be more likely to open up to you.
- Be patient. Don't involve other peers unless you agree. And above all, remind him that you will always be available. Then act accordingly.
- Do something for him. Help him with his work, distract him or cheer him up in the moment, defend him from others. By preventing and curbing the difficulties of everyday life, you will make a difference.
- Stress, anxiety, and a long period of bad mood can cause or worsen depression. If your friend is prone to these disorders, they should try to overcome them by managing stress, thinking positively, and using other effective therapies.
- Remember that mood disorders are often stigmatized in our society. So, before discussing your depression with another person, ask for permission. You have to help him, not feed gossip about his situation.
- Antidepressants and certain forms of therapy, such as psychoanalytic sessions, can actually sharpen a person's mood for some time. Drugs could have side effects and, during meetings with the psychotherapist, there is the possibility that problems that have been buried long ago emerge. It is completely normal for a person to be distressed at the very thought of it. However, over time this view should lessen. Make sure your friend knows they will always have your support.
- When choosing a therapist, doctor or any other professional, it is vital that you find someone who has some experience and has a thorough understanding of depression and all the solutions to treat it. In addition, he must also be someone your friend feels comfortable with. Therefore, it would be useful to ask her about the therapeutic approach she adopts, without fear of changing therapist or doctor if she does not seem up to it. People with depression need to be cared for by people who have the right knowledge, the right skills, and most importantly, a real desire to help, rather than being treated as mere numbers and not being listened to seriously (which could have harmful effects).
- Don't try to cheer him up by reminding him that his life is better than other people's.
- Healing can take a lot of energy and time. It probably won't happen overnight or even in a few days or weeks, depending on the severity of the depression and the triggers that cause it, if any. It is possible that it subsides or that there will be temporary relapses along the way. All of this is normal, so reassure your friend when these moments happen and remind him of the journey he has made so far.
- If he is prescribed antidepressants, make sure he is aware that he may require other forms of therapy, such as psychoanalysis, cognitive-behavioral, or dialectical-behavioral therapy at the same time.
Warnings
- Never tell your friend that his problem is trivial and that there is nothing to worry about - he may stop confiding in you.
- Self-harm could be a precursor to suicidal thoughts. Therefore, be very careful, continue to encourage and reassure him in a gentle way. However, the transition to suicide is not that straightforward. Usually, self-harm indicates the presence of severe difficulty coping with stress and / or anxiety. While it is possible that this is a cry for help, it should never be interpreted that way.
- Many suicide attempts occur when people start feeling slightly better, not during the most abysmal stages of depression. When you hit rock bottom, you don't have enough energy to put it into action, while when the forces begin to resurface, that's when a person could take action.
- Save a life. In case of emergency, contact one of these numbers: Toll-free number for psychiatry with particular attention to those suffering from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorders, psychosis (800.274.274); Friendly phone in case of suicidal thoughts (199.284.284).
