As children begin to explore the world around them, they develop various character traits and defense mechanisms. While some seem to become self-confident and independent from an early age, others remain clingy, seeking safety and protection. Would you like to help your child free himself from morbid attachment to you and become more independent? Start with the first step.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Understanding Your Child's Morbid Attachment
Step 1. Accept the morbid attachment
Morbid attachment is a normal phase in a child's growth. Babies go through this phase at different times and with varying intensity, but it is normal and not a cause for concern. Do not refuse, do not scold and do not punish the child for being too clingy; you will make him even more vulnerable if you make him feel neglected and scared.
Step 2. Evaluate the causes of his attitude
You may notice that some circumstances make him more nervous and make him feel uncomfortable (and therefore more clingy). What situations seem to exacerbate the problem? Coexistence with his peers? The school? Try to identify the most common causes and talk to teachers or other educators to see if the child can handle these situations when you are not present.
Step 3. Evaluate your behavior
Is it possible that you are unintentionally causing the clingy attitude? Some parents are overprotective of their children to prevent them from getting hurt or going through bad experiences. You should probably relax a bit before your child can feel comfortable asserting their independence.
Method 2 of 4: Dealing with Morbid Attachment
Step 1. Avoid situations that exacerbate your child's attitude
Temporarily, it is best to try to avoid situations that make the child particularly clingy. If, for example, parks that are too crowded or encounters with certain people make the problem worse, avoid them, until the child becomes a little more independent.
Step 2. Prepare the child for potentially problematic situations
If you can't avoid a particular situation, do your best to prepare him for it. Explain where you are going, what you will do, and what kind of behavior you expect.
If your child seems particularly upset when you leave him with someone else, prepare him for this too. Explain that you understand how he feels and that his feelings are okay. Emphasize that he will have fun, and remind him that you will return. Don't sneak out; doing so will teach him not to trust you
Step 3. Try to be a little less protective
Give your child more freedom and autonomy when appropriate. You should put your fears and anxieties aside before the baby can.
Step 4. Support your child
A clingy child seeks protection and safety. Don't reject him or blame him for his behavior. Hug him and reassure him as you encourage him to be more independent.
Step 5. Don't underestimate your baby's emotions
Try to understand your child's fears and anxieties and explain why a given situation presents no danger. Tell the child that you can understand how he feels, even if you try to make him less clingy.
Step 6. Don't punish a clingy child
You don't have to make the baby feel bad because he needs you. Punishment will not improve the situation.
Method 3 of 4: Encouraging autonomy
Step 1. Separate yourself from the baby gradually
If you have a very attached child who suffers from separation anxiety, try to separate gradually. Leave it for a few minutes and then come back. Gradually increase the period of separation, until the child gets used to the idea of temporary separation.
Step 2. Create a routine
Children who can't cope with change with confidence may become less clingy if you create habits. This system allows them to know in advance what will happen. Explain to the child, for example, that every day after lunch, you have to wash the dishes; you will see that at that time he will play alone.
Step 3. Assign tasks to the child
Help him be confident and independent by giving him a task to do. For example, encourage him to collect toys or help set the table. These small tasks will help develop her sense of self-worth and autonomy.
Step 4. Give the child opportunities to socialize
Group games and other encounters will bring your child closer to other children, some of whom are less clingy; these opportunities will encourage the child to have fun and have relationships with others.
If the child is particularly clingy in these situations, try to make sure that the child knows at least one child involved in the group. Do not go away, reassure the child by telling him that you will stay there; as your baby becomes more comfortable, you can walk away
Step 5. Involve him in different activities
Make your child play alone (or with other children) by changing the environment or offering him a new toy. If you usually play in the yard, go to the park; if the child always uses constructions, suggest another activity.
Method 4 of 4: Offer Much Love and Much Attention
Step 1. Start each new day with demonstrations of love and affection
Greet your child with hugs and kisses in the morning and make the day positive.
Step 2. Pay attention to the quality of the time you spend with your child
Clingy babies feel more confident and independent if they know their parents are around. Make sure you spend time with your child every day, without distractions - TV, phone or other electronic devices. Listen to your child and give him 100% of your attention.
For best results, include this moment in your daily routine. If, say, you plan to do this every day after lunch, your baby will wait for this moment and be less clingy for the rest of the day
Step 3. Praise him when he carries out activities independently
Whenever the child is playing alone or out of his comfort zone, praise him and be enthusiastic. Make sure he knows that you recognize and appreciate his every little effort.
Step 4. Encourage him to express his feelings through drawings
When you have to separate from your child for a while, encourage him to make a drawing that depicts his feelings. Show that you care about him and provide the child with something to focus his attention on during your absence.
Step 5. Be patient
Each child is different. Morbid attachment is a normal phase and the child will come out of it at his own pace.
Advice
- Try to understand that morbid attachment could occur on and off. Some children seem to have passed this phase, but then they come back to it again, when they have to face fundamental stages or when a radical change takes place - starting school, for example, or the birth of a baby brother.
- It is essential to have a positive attitude towards a very clingy child. If you notice that you are frustrated, annoyed, or angry about his attitude, the problem could get worse. The goal is to help the little one feel confident, capable and loved.
