Whether you want to convince your parents to allow you to come back later, whether you want to encourage your employees to roll up their sleeves and work harder, a certain finesse is needed to assert your point of view. To obtain the results you have set for yourself, you must first learn to choose credible and reasonable points of view, and then to know how to propose them in the best and most convincing way, whether it is speech, writing or any other.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Developing a Valid Point of View
Step 1. Assess the situation
Regardless of who you are arguing with, asserting your point of view involves mastering different tactics and techniques, depending on the situation. Evaluate your listeners and consider what their expectations of you are before deciding which tactic will work best.
- If you are trying to impose your point of view on an authority figure, such as a parent, your boss, or some other person who has power over you, be sure to emphasize how implementing your proposal will make the situation better for everyone. How will your family, group or society benefit from your ideas or proposals?
- If you are trying to persuade a child or an employee of yours, it is important to explain the details and reasons for your point of view without being condescending. Even if you have to "lecture" him, don't talk to him with arrogance, as your point of view will be accepted much more easily. Do not give explanations like: "It is done like this because I say so".
- If you are trying to persuade your partner or mate or even a close friend of yours, someone who is on an equal footing with you, it is important to keep your balance and speak up. Don't mince words. If you are talking to someone who knows you intimately, avoid the formal rhetoric you would use to address your boss.
Step 2. Make your point of view productive
It is important that the goal of your point of view is to solve a problem, not to "get the better of" an argument. If your purpose is to convince a person or group, make sure that your point of view is beneficial to the person or group and not that it is an end in itself. It is much easier to assert opinions that are useful and productive. Your point of view should help the other person, not harm them.
- To understand if your points of view are productive, imagine someone else giving you the same answers or advice, or proposing the same idea. How would you feel? Would it inspire you to actually do or change something?
- If your boss tells you, "Our running costs are too high, so we're reducing your working hours. I'm sorry," his point of view said, but in an unproductive way. If, on the other hand, he tries to tell you: "We really struggle to bear the costs. To keep everyone on board and to continue doing that great job that we are doing as one great team, we are forced to reduce your working hours slightly", his speech is much more convincing.
Step 3. Develop valid reasoning
The most important thing is to deeply understand your point of view and know exactly why it is valid reasoning to pursue. Demonstrable opinions are those that have valid reasoning behind them. While it's an uncomfortable truth, something the listener wouldn't want to hear, you can be sure it's a truth that needs to be taken into consideration.
- Obviously it is important for your child that he put in hard work in school. But why? You will be able to convince him to study hard if you explain to him that he will be proud of the good grades he will get and that he will love school more, not if you tell him "Why do I say so", or "Because your partner Luca studies hard".
- Tell him the truth, in the simplest and most direct way possible. Explain that studying is important for growth and for learning to take care of yourself. You won't always be there to help, and it's important that children learn as much as they can if they want to thrive.
Step 4. Anticipate the arguments to the contrary
If you want your point of view to be solid and unassailable, anticipate any objections the other person might make. Before expressing your opinion, beat the interlocutor on time by anticipating his disputes and dismantling them before he has a chance to make them prevail.
- If you tell your child to study hard to become a responsible adult, you will probably hear yourself say, "But I don't want to be a responsible adult, I want to play video games." At this point it is understandable that many parents resort to the phrase "Why do I say so", but from such a shocking response from your child you can instead draw a lesson.
- Say the sentence aloud, anticipating the other: "I know that for now you would like to play video games all day. I too was like you when I was seven. But as you grow up things change, and you need to learn a lot of things. ".
Part 2 of 3: Presenting your point of view aloud
Step 1. Speak slowly and clearly
Opinions uttered hastily, chaotically or muttering cannot be communicated with precision. If you want to get your point across, speak slowly and confidently, and don't stop until you've finished expressing your opinion first. People tend to listen more attentively if we speak slowly, in a measured, even tone, rather than quickly and confusedly, as if we are nervous.
If you are participating in a group discussion but cannot get yourself heard, you must first conquer a moment of silence by capturing attention, then slow down to create expectation, then start again expressing your opinion. To begin you will say aloud, "I would like to say something", then you will pause briefly and take a deep breath before continuing; finally, once you have captured the attention, you can fully express your point of view and everyone will listen to you
Step 2. Keep your voice calm and gentle, but also firm and firm
If people sense emotion or hesitation in your voice, they won't take you seriously; if they perceive anger or snobbery in their tone of voice, they will become defensive or distracted by not listening carefully. Talk calmly, even if you have to give someone bad news or if you need to challenge your boss.
- Give people the privilege of listening to your truest thoughts and feelings. If you try to be "friendly" by smoothing corners, clearing your throat, remaining vague or hesitating, you will only belittle your point of view and give people a good reason to question it.
- Make sure your thoughts are clear and clear, and before expressing an argumentative point of view, take a deep breath. Start talking by saying, "What I'm about to say won't be popular, but that's what I think". This way you make it clear that others care about you and not that you like to be provocative and disagree just for the sake of it.
Step 3. Use first person phrases so the other person doesn't feel attacked
Develop your point of view by pointing out that it is only your personal opinion, with which you can disagree. Especially if you have to say something controversial, focus on yourself and use the word "I" instead of lashing out at others.
For example, avoid saying "The volume of your music is too loud", as this is a confrontational and unproductive way of addressing someone. Instead, try saying, "It would be helpful for me to have some peace of mind so I can finish this project. Would you mind turning it down a bit?" The difference is obvious
Step 4. Explain the purpose of your point of view
Explaining your reasons is important; at the same time it is essential not to limit oneself only to affirming the validity of one's arguments, but to explain how they can contribute to achieving a certain goal on a large scale. More than complicated reasoning, a good point of view needs to be contextualized.
For example, it is true that you offer a valid point of view if you say that the music your office buddy is listening to is "too loud", citing decibel statistics and research on hearing loss caused by loud rock music. volume, but valid as they are, these arguments may not be the best way to assert your point of view. Stay focused on the fact that the music is distracting you from doing your job, which is the goal of your day, not your office colleague's hearing
Step 5. Be brief and concise
The most effective opinions are those expressed synthetically. Cut all the frills and learn to recognize when your point of view has already been accepted, without adding more. Generally speaking, we tend to be verbose, when in reality it is better to go straight to the heart of the matter, keeping the speech simple and arguing it.
- If you tend to express your opinions like this: "So, it might just be my personal opinion, because I'm new here and I have less experience than everyone else, so feel totally free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I noticed … it seems to me … That perhaps we could use less paper in the office ", he tries instead to get straight to the point and speak with more authority. "I noticed we use too much paper in the office, five reams a day. How about we cut back on consumption?"
- Many people talk too long, repeating the same arguments over and over. If you tend to do this too, stop talking. Adopt the strategy of silence. After expressing your opinion, pause to allow your words to settle in the minds of the interlocutors and to reorganize ideas and thoughts. Practice taking breaks at the right time and speaking with a seraphic expression on your face.
Step 6. Listen to the other person
Stop talking and listen to what others have to say. You don't have to immediately launch a heartfelt defense of your point of view or, even worse, start a fight. Stay seated, stay calm, and let other people respond, listening carefully. The less argumentative and confrontational you are, the more likely others are to agree with you.
- In a discussion it is very important to listen actively. If instead of listening to the other person you stay focused on what you will say next in response, the discussion is very likely to turn into an argument. Don't worry about the answer if you haven't listened carefully first and thought about what the other person thinks.
- If necessary, respond to other people's objections, but do it calmly. Let yourself be influenced by the opinions of others, indeed take advantage of your conversation and make it an opportunity to deepen your ideas together and to find a common point of view. Collaborate.
Step 7. Learn to stop at the right time and cut short
To assert your point of view, state your strongest and strongest reasoning, but don't repeat it more than once. Getting sucked into a petty argument with someone who just wants to fight is just wasting time in vain. After expressing your idea, do not embark on a grueling discussion with increasingly weak arguments, letting the other person wear you down slowly with meanness. You have to learn to stop at the right time and to cut it short, giving others the opportunity to meditate on what you have said.
Part 3 of 3: Presenting Your Point of View in Other Ways
Step 1. Try to put your point of view clearly in writing
If it is a particularly complex or technical thought, expressing it through writing may be the best idea, rather than trying to express or explain it orally. Complicated business proposals, technical project descriptions, schemes or even deep sentimental speeches can be best exposed in writing, so the other person has time to calmly read your ideas, before you put them directly into words and respond. to his questions.
- Write a memo for a business proposal or a new idea on how to do business. Whether you want to propose your idea to the boss or want to communicate it to your subordinates, putting it in writing increases its credibility and allows others to take the time to think about it.
- If it's a particularly complicated concept or point of view, work out an outline to break it down and make it easier to understand. If you think you've just discovered the philosophical thesis for your new Black Metal group's aesthetic manifesto, you may want to write it down rather than try to explain it orally.
- If you are in a troubled romantic relationship, write a letter to your partner in which you express all the nuances of your feelings. This way you can better gather your thoughts, as well as pave the way for a face-to-face discussion that promises to be difficult.
Step 2. Some points of view can be presented visually
Sometimes it's really true that a picture is worth a thousand words. If instead of speaking you can use an image, video or photo to explain your point of view, you have simplified the task. Using charts, graphs, and photos is a quick way to present statistics that show business growth or decline, for example by letting the reader make their own conclusions about your point of view, without adding words. It's hard to argue with a graph that shows an employee's decline in productivity.
A very useful way to persuade an alcoholic to stop drinking is to film the embarrassing things he does or says while intoxicated and then show him the video. There should be no need to add anything else
Step 3. Let your listeners think they have come to the same opinion as you do
An excellent rhetorical technique can be asking a whole series of questions that lead the other people involved in the conversation to come to the same conclusion you did; essentially, your idea got into their heads. Act as Socrates would and ask a series of questions and questions that can change the ideas of others.
If you have noticed that too much paper is wasted in your office, ask your boss how much paper is consumed weekly and be prepared to respond appropriately. She continues saying, "Doesn't that seem too much?" (keep statistics on average office paper use handy). Act as if you have to guide the other person step by step towards the right answer
Step 4. Tell a story you were personally involved in
While stories about personal experiences aren't essential reasoning to get your point across, they do have a huge effect on the willingness of others to see you as a great speaker and to emotionally tune in to your thinking. Especially if you are presenting a controversial issue, getting yourself involved in the speech makes your point of view more credible.
If you have to express an opinion on something you have personally experienced, try using arguments such as: "Being a person who has seen a loved one suffer from prolonged senile dementia, I know perfectly well that the choice of palliative care is more complicated. than to choose between different therapies"
Step 5. Avoid evasive language gimmicks
For some people, polished, rhetorical speech is more frustrating than effective, which makes it important to evaluate the expectations of your listeners and the context of the conversation before deciding whether to use a particular technique. You probably wouldn't choose a Power Point presentation to showcase your idea at a poker club, just as you wouldn't want an audience of stupid spectators to attend your round table with representatives of the Mental Health Council. Adapt your speech to the context and situation.
