Every now and then everyone needs to be alone for some time. Due to the stress and pressure exerted at school, at work or in interpersonal relationships, it is normal to desire moments to devote exclusively to oneself. There are times when people can make you nervous or agitated. In these cases, you want to keep them away so as not to complicate your life. You can avoid them by distancing yourself, blocking them on the Internet and learning to manage your mood.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Taking the Distances
Step 1. Always be polite
Even if you intend to get someone out of your life for good, don't forget to always be nice. This way, you'll leave a door open in case you want to resume relationships in the future. Furthermore, you will avoid making the situation worse and involving other people.
Never forget good manners, especially if other people are around. Don't make a bad impression because there is someone you want to keep at a distance. For example, if he asks you how you are, respond naturally: "Everything is fine, thank you". With this short answer, you will let him know that you don't want to continue the conversation without ignoring him or saying something rude
Step 2. Get away from places where you might interact with people you don't want
It is likely that in certain situations, such as in the office or school, you will be forced to regularly see the person or group of people you intend to avoid. By devising solutions to avoid the risk of meeting them, you will be able to keep away from them more easily.
- Know their schedules. This way you will be able to avoid any kind of contact, even a simple chat or an exchange of views. For example, if you know they go to the same bar every week for an aperitif, choose another place to meet up with your friends and colleagues.
- Keep in mind that some people may take a while to realize that you are avoiding them.
Step 3. Limit your contacts
If you can't help but interact with someone, limit relationships as much as possible. Answer questions, text messages or phone calls only as necessary. This way you will set limits and you can reduce any kind of stress, but also make him understand that you don't want to have anything to do with him.
- Respond concisely, but politely. For example, if he sends you a long email, you can decide whether to accept it or not. He replied briefly, writing: "Thanks for the information, Marco. I'll take a look and get back to you as soon as I can."
- Be short and polite when making a comment. A simple sentence like "Thank you for your help. You were really nice", followed by the clarification that you need to go back to what you were doing, will clearly indicate that you don't want to hold back any longer.
- When talking to someone, don't leave room for further development in the conversation. For example, you can say, "Thank you for your intervention. Have a nice day."
Step 4. Keep your distance with shared knowledge
If you are trying to avoid a person who has relationships with friends, relatives or colleagues who are part of your life, you may want to set limits or distance yourself from them too. With such a strategy you will be able to get rid of her more easily.
- Keep in mind that by moving away from some people to eliminate others from your life, you risk being excluded from certain social contexts. Try to decline the invitations of those you like by saying: "Thank you, Carolina, but I already have a commitment tonight. Give all my best regards."
- Offer an individual meeting to avoid potentially complicated situations. Try saying, "I'd like to see you, Carolina, but I'm having trouble hanging out with others. Can we have dinner together next week? Maybe alone?"
- Hang out with friends individually so that you can maintain relationships with each of them without the risk of meeting who you want to avoid.
- Consider distancing yourself as an opportunity to try your hand at new businesses and meet other people if you want.
Step 5. Be clear
Despite your best efforts, the other person is likely to miss your message. So, if you kindly communicate to her what your intentions are, there is a chance she will come out of your life completely.
- Be sincere and courteous, without beating around the bush. Try to express yourself frankly: "It seems to me that we don't have much in common. It would be better if we ended our friendship. I wish you all the best possible."
- If it's a colleague, you can say: "Aldo, I think it's better if we only talked the bare minimum. For the rest, good things."
- Communicate this directly to the person concerned or to the group. If it's easier, send an email or a handwritten card. By doing so, you will be more confident in your decision and show respect for others.
- Focus on yourself: "Now I need to think about myself. I think it's best if we avoid staying in touch." That way, the other person will walk out of your life without feeling offended.
Part 2 of 3: Blocking People on the Internet
Step 1. Eliminate virtual friendships
It is common to use Facebook, Tumbler, Instagram, Snapchat, and blogs to communicate with others. At the same time, you may be overwhelmed with pictures and comments about the person or group you want to avoid. By moving away from social networks, you can keep your distance with those you don't want to hang out with.
- Block it or stop following it. You can also delete or deactivate your account to avoid checking it. These tactics not only suggest that you don't want to have contact, but they can also help you gain valuable time for yourself.
- Please answer the questions regarding your decision politely: "Honestly, I want to take some time to focus on myself" or "I blocked Francesco because I think our relationship had become disadvantageous and negative. I need to temporarily distance myself from him."
Step 2. Manage correspondence
Emails are used to connect people and are often the preferred communication channel in schools and workplaces. If there's someone you want to avoid, learn how to handle email messages effectively and professionally.
- Create a special folder dedicated to the person or group you intend to distance yourself from. This way, you can decide if and when to respond.
- Respond promptly to emails you can't ignore. Be simple and concise so that you know you want to limit your contact.
- If you can avoid the person and are sure you want to cut all ties with them, block their messages completely.
Step 3. Avoid answering phone calls and text messages
The person or group you want to keep away from may try calling you, leaving voicemails, or texting. In such cases, block the phone number or just ignore the messages. By doing so, you will not only oppose any form of communication from him, but you will also make it clear that you do not wish to be contacted.
- Check the caller ID before answering the phone. You can easily avoid this if you memorize his number.
- Instantly delete voice and text messages. This way, you won't hear his voice or see the messages, so you will avoid further stress.
Part 3 of 3: Managing Your State of Mind
Step 1. Identify what you are feeling
The decision to end relationships with one or more people could depend on several reasons: negative experiences, romantic breakup or change of goals. By determining why you intend to exclude them from your life, you will be able to deal with the situation more constructively.
Make a list of the reasons that led you to this choice. It will help you figure out if being able to avoid them is more helpful than completely getting away from them. For example, if you write, "Anna offended me. I don't want to see her," you might want to not hang out with her for a while. However, if you write: "Massimo betrayed our friendship by taking my girlfriend away from me", perhaps it is appropriate to permanently eliminate your friend and your ex-girlfriend from your life
Step 2. Find some time for yourself
If you just need to get away from someone, dedicate this time to yourself. In fact, you can focus on other things and enjoy new experiences without the influence of something that risks stressing or making you unhappy.
Consider taking a break from sports or extracurricular activities, family gatherings or professional commitments. Let others know, "I'd love to join you, but I need some time for myself."
Step 3. Seek professional help
Reducing contact with many people could indicate a more serious problem. There is a risk that depression and anxiety cause a loss of interest in friends, family and colleagues. If you find that you are distancing yourself from people who love you for no good reason, consider seeing a doctor to rule out a depressive or anxious state. The latter could also help you manage various moods.
- Make an appointment with a psychotherapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. He will be able to diagnose if a mood disorder causes you to keep your distance from people.
- Tell the therapist why you are seeking counseling. Answer any questions they might ask you. It will be able to give you a clearer idea of why you tend to exclude people from your life.
Step 4. Don't feel guilty
It is not a bad thing to eliminate unhealthy, stressful, or deleterious relationships from your life. As long as you handle the matter with maturity and education, you don't have to justify your behavior.
- Someone will likely ask you for an explanation, but stick to your decision. Take the opportunity to set up stakes.
- If someone disagrees, don't feel like you have to bring it up.
