You may feel in awe of talking to a stranger, but don't get discouraged! Conversing with someone you don't know can enrich you and give you beautiful emotions if you use the right techniques. Start by introducing yourself right away. So, to learn more about your interlocutor, ask questions and listen to the answers. Finally, adopt some basic strategies to keep the conversation alive and end it on a positive note.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Introducing yourself
Step 1. Read the body language
Before you approach and start talking to a complete stranger, try to get a general idea. Make sure it's a good time to strike up a conversation by checking for non-verbal cues. Observe the way he is sitting or standing and examine the expression on his face. Does he seem willing to have a conversation?
- For example, if his back is hunched, his arms crossed and his forehead wrinkled, perhaps it is best to leave him alone. However, if he has a relaxed posture and appears to be in a good mood, he may be interested in having a chat.
- You should continue to check their body language even after a conversation is established to know if you need to change the subject or end the conversation.
Step 2. Be friendly
If you decide to greet a stranger, communicate with your body in an open and positive way. Turn in his direction. Smile, lift your chin and stand chest out. You need to be calm, confident, and lovable.
Step 3. Introduce yourself
Once you are close, introduce yourself. Say your name in a cheerful tone. Then, make a remark about something that your interlocutor can share with you (this communication technique is called "triangulation") so that the conversation develops naturally.
- You could say: "Hi, I'm Marco. I see you're waiting for Mrs. Marino. Have you been there for a long time?".
- Another great way to spice up your presentation is to offer a sincere compliment, such as, "I like your haircut."
Step 4. Extend your hand
To conclude the introductions, extend your right hand so that the interlocutor can shake it. Hold it out with your palm open and close your fingers when he hands you his. Squeeze firmly, adjusting to the pressure exerted by the other person.
Why is it important to shake hands? When you come into physical contact with an individual, the brain sends signals that strengthen the relationship
Step 5. Remember the name and use it often
When the other person shows up, memorize their name and use it during the conversation. In this way, you will capture his benevolence and increase the confidence that will gradually be established between you.
- For example, once she tells you her name, you might say, "So, Pamela, what brings you here tonight?" Afterward, try using the name again, saying, "What's your favorite musical genre, Pamela?".
- To easily remember it, connect it to some contingent aspect that characterizes your interlocutor. For example, you might think: "Pamela is wearing a purple sweater" or "Giovanni likes jazz".
Part 2 of 3: Have a Conversation
Step 1. Make eye contact
No conversation is pleasant if the interlocutors direct their gaze in diametrically opposite directions. Therefore, make eye contact to keep the dialogue alive. However, find a good balance: don't stare at her for too long, but don't avoid her gaze either.
Generally speaking, you should look into her eyes more when you speak than when you listen
Step 2. Ask open-ended questions
Some questions tend to end a conversation for good, while others make it livelier. If you want to talk to a stranger, facilitate the exchange with some open-ended questions. In this way, you will have the opportunity to go down various avenues that may be precluded by a simple "yes / no" as an answer.
Open-ended questions typically start with what, how, or why. For example: "How do you know Sara?"
Step 3. Listen
If you are going to ask a question, you need to demonstrate a certain aptitude for listening. Then, learn to listen actively by turning in the direction of your interlocutor and listening to his words. Try to understand what he means before replying.
Step 4. Try paraphrasing
Show that you have been paying attention by interpreting what the other person said. This way, you will be sure that you understand her intentions, and if not, you will allow her to explain herself better.
For example, you could paraphrase saying, "So, it looks like…" or "If I understand correctly…"
Part 3 of 3: Keeping the Communication Alive
Step 1. Be positive
People tend to continue interacting when the conversation is pleasant. Don't assume that they will find you uninteresting or that they will try to walk away. Try to relate positively and be lovable and down to earth.
Even if you feel nervous or have low self-esteem, try to show self-confidence. If you try to end the conversation right away or seem intimidated, others will avoid getting too long. If you are agitated, pretend nothing has happened until it comes naturally to you
Step 2. Encourage the interlocutor to open up
Many people are able to chat for hours if someone is willing to listen to them. Generally, people like to talk about themselves, their ideas and their interests. Use this trend to your advantage and keep your focus on the individual in front of you.
Show interest in what he is saying by nodding or responding with brief remarks, such as "Really?"
Step 3. Be witty
Often, people are drawn to those who have a joke ready. However, they don't necessarily sit and listen to one joke after another. Instead of demonstrating an overly direct sense of humor, make a joke that fits the context.
For example, if you are both in a waiting room, you might spontaneously start by saying, "Gosh, if I knew the wait would be so long, I would have brought a packed breakfast. If you feel my stomach growl, forgive me."
Step 4. Find common ground
People are attracted to those who can "understand" them, so pay attention to the interests or opinions you might share with your interlocutor. Use this common ground to highlight your affinities and develop a stronger bond.
For example, try saying: "I have the same impression!" or "How ironic, I grew up in a small town too"
Step 5. Avoid getting into too personal details
Unless you want to push your interlocutor away, just choose light or neutral topics at first. While it is perfectly normal to confide something important to a close friend, it is not convenient to do the same with a stranger. By revealing something intimate, you risk making him uncomfortable.
- For example, it is inappropriate to tell someone you have just met that you have a serious health problem.
- Don't be afraid to be vulnerable to topics that arise spontaneously in the course of the conversation. This way, you can increase the level of trust. However, consider that it might be disconcerting to receive a flood of information.
Step 6. Conclude on a positive note
The key to having a nice conversation with a stranger is knowing the right time to end the conversation. Check how it communicates with the body. Does he turn his back or let himself be distracted by the phone or the newspaper? These attitudes could indicate that it is time to say goodbye. Make sure you end the conversation in a positive way.
