"Be true to yourself, from which it must follow, like night to day, that you cannot be false to anyone." - William Shakespeare, 1564-1616
The best connotation of character and integrity, which are intimately related, is being one of those few things in the world that can never be extracted from you by force. Your choices are yours alone. While someone can take your life, they can't force you to make a decision that you think is wrong.
The actions described in the guide cannot, and must not, be taken all at once. Each of them takes time to fully learn and apply in your life. Learn about your virtues and values, and find out how they conform to your life and that of the world around you. Follow the steps to improve yourself while strengthening your character.
Steps
Step 1. Understand the meaning of character and integrity
The definitions of these words are often lacking or misrepresented. Learn the true meaning:
- In this context, character is the sum of the qualities displayed by a person or group, his moral or ethical strength, and the description of his attributes, traits and abilities. Character is who you are. It defines and guides your actions, hopefully in a positive way.
- Integrity means adhering firmly to a strict ethical or moral code, being integral, solid and absolute; integrity means completeness.
- Integrity can be summed up as follows: always doing the right thing for the right reason, even when no one is watching you.
Step 2. Choose a set of rules, morals or beliefs that you believe will lead you to a happy, virtuous and fulfilling life while improving the world
You can adhere to the ethical principles of a particular religion, or develop your own, based on your own personal experiences.
Step 3. Look at the choices you have made in the past, and understand how you have lived up to those principles
Don't waste your time on feelings of guilt or repentance. Remember that "… as long as a person can honestly state, I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday, that person cannot say, I choose otherwise." -Stephen R. Covey.
Step 4. Decide what you need to change in your behavior to align your life with your principles
Step 5. Every day, be aware of the decisions you make, big or small, and see how they help you become the person you really want to be
Advice
- It is not about what the world gives you, but what you give to the world.
- You will likely feel your self-esteem and personal strength grow as you take on new challenges while respecting your values.
- Check out the life and works of Victor Frankl, best summed up by this quote:
- Understand that your actions reflect on you and the people around you. Be responsible for what you do, confess your mistakes and use them to learn how to be a better person.
- Keep a journal and record your progress daily.
- The most effective way to have a good character is to support and improve what you have because starting from scratch is never easy.
"Those who lived in concentration camps can remember those men who walked among people comforting them, and offering their last piece of bread. Although they may have been few, they were sufficient proof that everything but one thing can be taken from a man.: the last of human freedoms, that of choosing one's attitude in any circumstance, that of choosing one's own path."
Warnings
- Your character is unique and may not match anyone else's. So don't try to imitate someone else's. Strengthen it based on your own attitudes and your inner light. Self-evaluation and introspection are effective, but never let yourself be disheartened by small failures and related criticisms. Stand firm on your beliefs, success will come.
- Beware of those who try to dissuade you from your search by claiming that no one is perfect, and mocking you for being such an idealist. Not being perfect does not mean violating what you believe. Learning from our mistakes is correct, but it is not necessary to make mistakes to learn. Remember that aspiring to be perfect and being perfect are two distinct concepts; the first corresponds to integrity, the second to frivolity.
