You know what it is: you are about to give a speech in front of the whole class or you are preparing for your first blind date; you start sweating and hyperventilate. We all hate this feeling: in this article you will find several ways to calm your nerves and regain peace of mind.
Steps
Part 1 of 6: Calming the Mind
Step 1. Make a list of everything that causes you stress
Identify what is shaking your nerves - it will help you develop strategies to manage anxiety. Many factors will be external (such as the thought of a job deadline), while others may have an internal origin (such as feelings of inadequacy).
Step 2. Become aware
Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere and anytime. Just slow down for a moment and observe the surrounding environment involving the senses and avoiding judgments. It's about living the moment intensely, no matter how ordinary it is. Here are some ways to do it:
- Take a flower and examine it: look at the shape and color of the petals, smell its perfume; feel the earth beneath your feet and the wind blowing on your face.
- When you eat, focus on the aroma of your meal and watch the steam come out. Notice its texture, and enjoy its depths of flavor.
- When you take a shower, you feel the temperature of the water; listen to the sounds it makes when it hits the floor. Inhale the steam and feel the water flowing down your body.
Step 3. Try meditation
It will help you focus your thoughts on the present you are experiencing, leave the past behind and not worry about the future. Awareness of your breathing and body posture will allow you to center yourself in the moment. There is no "right" way to meditate, so experiment with the different practices available and choose the one that suits you best.
- Find a quiet, secluded place to meditate. Choose one where you can practice for at least ten minutes without being interrupted. Absolute silence is not necessary, environmental noises (traffic, people and barking dogs) are in fact part of the present moment.
- Find a comfortable position; you can remain seated or lie on the floor. Close your eyes or let your gaze fall down.
- Pay attention to your breathing. Feel how it fills your lungs as you inhale slowly. As you exhale, use your diaphragm to empty them. Try to count the breaths, starting from 10 up to 1; once finished, start over from 10.
- Let the thoughts and feelings flow freely in your mind when you meditate. Focusing on your breath will help you avoid dwelling on any thoughts; if you happen to get distracted, just focus on the breath again.
Step 4. Try a guided visualization exercise
Viewing yourself in a comfortable, relaxing environment (such as a tropical beach) can help calm your nerves and improve your mood. This is a very simple technique: you can do it anywhere using just your imagination. Here are some steps for Guided View:
- Find a comfortable position in a quiet, secluded setting. Closing your eyes will help you distance yourself from the world around you, allowing you to focus on creating another place.
- Take a couple of deep breaths. Start imagining yourself in a relaxing environment; it could be a sunny beach, a tropical forest or a beautiful lawn.
- Add details to your scenario. Visualize a path in the meadow or in the woods: what are the trees like? Are there any clouds in the sky? Can you feel the breeze on your skin?
- Continue to breathe slowly. When you are ready to exit your visualization, start listening to the sounds of the room and the street, then slowly open your eyes.
- Guided views can be based on the simple use of imagination. If you wish, however, you can also take advantage of a text, an audio or an experienced instructor.
Part 2 of 6: Calming the Body
Step 1. Listen to the music
Classical and jazz music has been shown to reduce heart rate and blood pressure by decreasing stress hormones. There is evidence to suggest that, in therapeutic situations, music may be more effective at relaxing than verbal (distracting) stimuli, being the first to pass into the non-verbal sections of our brain.
Step 2. Promote relaxation with aromatherapy
Aromatherapy uses essential oils derived from different plants, fruits, barks and flowers in order to influence mood. By creating a connection between the sense of smell and the limbic system of the brain, aromatherapy can positively influence mood and emotions.
- Lavender and lemon oils are the most used to reduce stress and relax. Do some research or talk to a specialist to find out which perfumes and blends work best for you.
- In an aroma-therapeutic massage, the essential oil is mixed with the carrier oil: odorless or lightly scented and safe for application to the skin. It is then heated by the friction of the hands, while it is spread on the body thus releasing a pleasant aroma into the air.
- You can buy some aromatherapy diffusers and place them in every room in your home. Some speakers plug into the sockets, while others fit on the top of the bulbs; the heat emitted by the lamp favors the release of the aroma of essential oils in the room.
Step 3. Try yoga
Relaxing yoga postures, such as baby or cadaver postures, relieve stress by helping you focus on your breath, and relaxing your whole body. Power positions, such as that of the eagle, instead help you focus on body balance.
Step 4. Try dancing, alone or with a partner
Dancing is another great way to release endorphins and calm your nerves. Dance has numerous health benefits: it improves physical fitness and trains memory by forcing you to remember all the steps of a choreography. It can also become a social activity: when you take dance lessons or just dance with a partner, you interact with other people, sharing a good mood.
Part 3 of 6: Redesign Your Mood
Step 1. Start laughing
Take a few minutes to have a good laugh, alone or in company. Watch some short hilarious videos or choose to dedicate a couple of hours to a funny comedy, in both cases you will bring multiple benefits to your health:
- Laughter stimulates different organs: when we laugh, we inhale more oxygen, stimulating the heart, lungs and muscles.
- Laughter increases the number of positive thoughts, causing the release of stress and disease-fighting neuropeptides.
- By itself, laughter improves mood and, when shared with others, promotes better interpersonal connection.
Step 2. When you are nervous, smile
In the presence of anxious or negative feelings, it is not easy to stop ruminating. You explode into a broad smile. It may be a forced expression at first, but you can help yourself by thinking about something that really makes you smile by gradually improving it. A broad smile will temporarily trick your mind into thinking more positively, thereby helping you take a step forward.
Step 3. Experiment with power posing
Through power posing it is possible to increase self-confidence by assuming a dominant posture and body language. Thanks to this powerful technique, your mood will improve and you will be able to feel more relaxed and confident.
Let's take an example: When speaking in a meeting, sit up straight and cross your arms across your chest. When closing a deal, show your involvement by standing and leaning slightly forward, and place your hands on the table while looking at the customer or bystanders
Part 4 of 6: Alleviate Your Worries
Step 1. Be prepared and organized
Attending a job interview or speaking in public can be stressful. However, the tension will be even greater if you are unprepared and don't know exactly what to say. Spend some time preparing your speech in writing or answering typical interview questions.
Before an interview or a public speech, plan. Be aware of where you keep your resume and be prepared to share it with the interviewer
Step 2. Talk positively
Reaffirm your skills to improve self-confidence. Tell yourself "I can do it". Remind yourself that you are confident, interesting and engaging. By encouraging yourself you will be able to block those thoughts that contribute to making you anxious.
Step 3. Don't rush
Taking the time to plan an interview or a first admission to a new school will help calm your nerves. Plan which way to go and anticipate any possible delays. Leave the house a few minutes early so as not to feel in a hurry and not to risk showing up anxious and sweaty for the appointment.
Step 4. Express confidence in yourself
In very stressful situations it is easy to get distressed and start questioning. By showing yourself confident, you can deceive others, and even yourself, by actually feeling more confident.
If your hands are shaking, try tightening your thigh muscles. It will help you divert energy from your hands to your legs
Step 5. Don't be afraid of being vulnerable
Particularly when you are in front of an audience, people want to feel your human side. Relate parts of your speech to your vulnerabilities. You will be able to create a better connection with the audience.
Step 6. Know your audience
Knowing the needs and characteristics of your interlocutors will help you calm your nerves. When the audience can understand what you say, they respond more positively, further reducing your anxiety levels.
Research your audience and find out what they would like to hear. For example, in the case of a job interview, find out who the interviewer will be and what role he or she holds
Step 7. Maintain the right perspective
Undoubtedly that interview, that speech or that competition is very important to you. But this will most likely not be the only interview of your life. Reduce your stress levels by putting things in perspective.
- Don't worry too much about making mistakes. Everyone is wrong, especially when they take their first steps in something new. Whatever happens, every mistake can turn out to be a learning opportunity.
- If you don't get that job, consider the interview as a workout and try again at the next opportunity.
Part 5 of 6: Calming Down Through Contact
Step 1. Call a friend
Talking about what is bothering you or causing you stress can help you put the problem in perspective. Talking about it with a friend or someone you love can also solve the problem, making you feel less alone. Choose the right person to do it with: If your stress is caused by a family quarrel, only talk to a friend you trust blindly.
Step 2. Hug your pet
Simply playing with your dog or cat can elevate serotonin and dopamine levels (nerve chemicals that elevate mood and feel euphoric). Spending even a few minutes with your pet can lower blood pressure and heart rate.
Step 3. Consult a therapist
If stress is causing anxiety or if you struggle to manage your emotions, try getting help from a therapist and talk to him about your discomfort.
If you have medical insurance, make sure it covers your expenses
Part 6 of 6: Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle
Step 1. Exercise
Going for a run, cardio exercise, and lifting weights help reduce stress by releasing endorphins, brain chemicals that elevate mood, strengthen the body's immune system, and relieve physical pain. Exercising helps us feel that we are in control, even when we are unable to control the causes of our stress.
Step 2. Have a (healthy) snack
Eating the right foods not only makes you feel good and satisfied, it can also improve your mood. When you are stressed, your body secretes hormones that affect your mood. Foods that contain vitamin B and folic acid help fight stress, as they are necessary for the production of serotonin (the chemical in our brain that makes us happy). Try eating one of these super foods to improve your mood:
- Blueberries, rich in vitamin C (this vitamin also fights stress); try them in a smoothie, in muesli or even on their own.
- Almonds: Munching on them can help you decrease aggression. They are rich in vitamins B2 and E which, like C, fight free radicals, which cause stress and disease.
- Asparagus contains vitamin B and folic acid. This green container of fiber is great added to pastas and salads and even on its own as a side dish, simply steamed with a squeeze of lemon and a pinch of salt.
Step 3. Drink lots of water
Dehydration can make the body less productive, and increase the risk of anxiety and panic attacks. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day (about 2 liters). Also, choose fruits and vegetables that are rich in water.
Step 4. Get enough rest
Your body needs time to restore its functions and allow the muscles to relax completely. Getting enough sleep each night takes away the stress that is shaking your nerves. Give your body 7-8 hours of quality sleep every day.
If you're having a hard time falling asleep, try taking a warm bath before bed or listening to some soothing music
Warnings
- Young children, pregnant or lactating women, diabetics and all those people suffering from high blood pressure or heart problems should consult an aromatherapy specialist before exposing themselves to certain oils that could cause complications.
- Many essential oils need to be mixed with a carrier oil before being rubbed onto the skin. Not doing so could trigger a severe allergic reaction.
