How to Handle Overly Competitive Colleagues

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

According to research, more than a third of respondents said they have competitive colleagues. According to most of these employees, competition is viewed negatively. Several CEOs also believe employees are more competitive today than they were 10 years ago. Still, most people want a job that allows them to get along well with colleagues. In this way, the work will be productive and pleasant. However, sometimes employees who have an excessively competitive attitude at work do not facilitate it, creating friction. If the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back due to the treatment you receive from an ultra-competitive colleague is about to fall, read the following tips to approach it constructively and to reflect on your ideas about the competition that arises at work.

Steps

Step 1. Consider the competition that characterizes your work environment

Some jobs are more competitive than others by nature. For example, if you work in the sales and marketing industry, you will surround yourself with competitive people both by nature and because the profession demands it. Therefore, accepting that this is the reality is the first step to take to address the problem. On the other hand, if competition isn't supposed to be part of your field of work, its presence can seem alien and unpleasant. In any case, the mentality you adopt in the approach to competition can make absolutely the difference to manage it.

• Competition has advantages and disadvantages. Painting it in a purely negative light is certainly not right. By focusing only on the disadvantages of rivalry and personal impact, you risk losing sight of the potential benefits it can bring. Being competitive can help you in what you do alone and with your team, and pushes you to work hard for what you are passionate about. Competition can yield excellent results: innovation, successful sales and motivation. On the other hand, it is clear that an excess of rivalry, without any control, can run out of ideas and people. As a result, the less competitive ones will be pushed aside, creating an environment where everyone is at war with everyone. In short, the workplace will become toxic. Recognizing whether you work in an organization that encourages healthy competition or one that welcomes extreme competition is a vital starting point.
• Most companies rely on a combination of cooperation and competition. Problems arise only in jobs where the extremes of internal competition are not adequately controlled. If your business is all rivalry and zero collaboration and sharing, you are probably in a breeding ground of antagonism.
• Don't confuse arrogance with ambition. The healthy competitive person is guided by a critical spirit that encourages them to constantly improve. The arrogant person only starts from the assumption that he is better than others. Try praising a competitive coworker for a job well done. If their goal is solely to improve, they may start to think that you are someone they can trust.

Step 2. Examine the way you are first

If competitive people upset you easily, you will encounter difficulties in numerous work situations. In fact, you will always be surrounded by competitive people, even in relatively non-hierarchical professional environments. It is important to trust your skills first and foremost. You have a job because the person who hired you believes you are capable of a certain role. Don't forget to put things in perspective.

• Don't take competition personally. It can be all too easy to assume that a negative reaction towards us indicates that there is something wrong with us or that we have done something wrong. However, if a colleague has suddenly started acting hostile and aggressive for no apparent reason, this probably has more to do with him than with us. An overly competitive person often feels strongly threatened by your skills, not you, and can't handle their emotions. This is why he is being grumpy. Don't get sucked into thinking it's personal.
• Are you competitive? It is important to recognize your levels of rivalry. Maybe you are complicit in the competitive approach that distinguishes your office. By denying it, nothing will change!
• If you feel insecure for a reason, you must have the courage to face the source of that uncertainty. Maybe you need to get back to studying or go through personal development in order to improve your job performance. Learn about the training options available. This way, you can be sure that you are on the same level as your colleagues.

Step 3. Be polite and civil

Try to be friendly (if you think you can), without losing sight of the fact that an ultra-competitive person can undermine your work. As much as you try to react instantly if someone deliberately tries to complicate your life, this attitude can backfire, encouraging the person who attacked you to react worse than before. On the other hand, if you don't show the emotional reaction he's looking for, he'll come to the conclusion that it's a waste of time trying to push you, and he'll leave you behind when he can.

It may also be that an ultra-competitive co-worker realizes that you have no intention of hurting him; he will therefore feel more motivated to treat you kindly. Friendly, informal conversations can help out (but choose topics that you don't consider yourself an expert in, and therefore won't feel the need to be competitive)

Step 4. Try to collaborate with openly competitive colleagues, don't go to war with them

At least they are honest about their ambition and desire to override others. Consider ways you could harness their energy and turn it into something good for you and your team. For example, asking them for advice and ideas regarding their work can often be a useful tactic. Don't assume that they won't want to help or that they will want to take all the credit. Involving them flatters them and gives you the opportunity to learn from them. Here are the different types of competitive peers you can deal with:

• The superstar. This competitive colleague always needs to shine and will do more than he has to to do it, often choosing the most prestigious positions available. This person reacts well to praise, likes to be resourceful and knows how to inspire others. However, this competitive spirit must understand that he is not alone and that he must collaborate with the rest of the team and with the boss.
• The "weightlifter". This competitive colleague takes on numerous responsibilities by doing extra work. His work can be useful, as long as he does not overdo it and does not suffer from overexertion. This competitive personality can be a source of inspiration for the rest of the team, provided they meet deadlines and don't behave territorially.
• The "sprinter". This competitive colleague wants everything to be ready for yesterday. This behavior can benefit morale and motivation, provided the person in question is precise. Unfortunately, the accuracy could be left in a corner in the race to be in the lead. Check this employee's work carefully as you use their energy to motivate others.

Step 5. Protect yourself from the elusive competitive colleague or saboteur

This type of person is more difficult to work with than the openly competitive colleague. In fact, he prefers to undermine others through subtle means, for example he tries to make the people around him appear inferior. The treacherous colleague tends to regard everyone as potential threats to his supremacy, in whatever field or skill he is known for. You can identify one by evaluating the things it overlooks for its own benefit. For example, he does not tell the boss that you have also collaborated on a certain job, he "forgets" to send e-mails that interest you or he points out during the weekly meeting, proclaiming that he was solely responsible for the good result obtained (when it was you who played the main role). This type of person is unlikely to change his character traits. You will have to learn to manage it by asserting yourself. When you get annoyed by a sneaky and negative colleague, analyze the following:

• Keep copies of everything you do, especially anything that involves this person or their responsibilities. Should he try to blame you or put you in a bad light, you will be covered. Also, don't be afraid to stand up and be included in paperwork indicating your involvement in a job well done. Now is not the time to act like a little lamb, because the saboteur doesn't play fair.
• Keep the boss aware of your work, regardless of what is openly said elsewhere in the office. Make sure your performance is verifiable and unassailable.
• Don't let this colleague get in your way. If you suspect that he personally goes through your things, put an end to this behavior. Use computer passwords, so you'll protect the electronic files you open at work. Keep desk drawers and cabinets locked. Don't share information about yourself with such a colleague. All conversations should be professional and formal.
• Talk directly to this colleague and point out his tactics. This allows him to understand that you are not a chicken. If you think this approach is aggressive, find other colleagues willing to join you. Another possibility is to talk to your boss about the impact this person's behavior is having on your performance and satisfaction.

Step 6. If necessary, minimize the contacts

That doesn't mean you should avoid competitive peers altogether. However, if the hostile, negative, and threatening behavior is ongoing and you have to put up with them every day, try to communicate with them only when you have to, without overdoing the interactions. On the other hand, if you don't work side by side with this colleague, but you happen to see him every so often in the building, totally avoiding him is preferable.

Step 7. Don't just consider your colleagues

In fact, if the workplace is competitive and unhealthy, your boss may be encouraging this behavior, pitting employees against each other instead of promoting a comfortable environment. While a boss who supports healthy competition can create a good motivational strategy, his expectations become problematic if he has favorites and actively creates a controversial and suspicious work culture. This will damage the team spirit. If you think this is happening, there are several actions you can try:

• Talk about what you think about team morale and management work with your colleagues. This way, you will understand what others feel and understand. Be careful not to give names and not to theorize about actual facts. At this point, you are looking for evidence. Next, if you think a lot of other people are on your side, you should consider raising this particular competition issue for general discussion. However, remember that it must be done very carefully.

  

• Talk directly to the boss to find out his strategy regarding the team's work and the results obtained. You should point out that a team encouraged to do their best benefits the company, especially since employees who do their jobs well can give help and advice to those who are struggling.
• Talk to senior management or the human resources department if you are concerned that the workplace is at war.
• You may be looking for a new job position, with a new boss, or even a new job. If you can't find ways to handle your boss's aggressive approach and things don't change, it might be time to walk away. It is natural for employees to acquire the attitudes of their superiors. Over time, many will find this type of environment perfectly acceptable.

Step 8. Encourage the growth of cooperation in the workplace

Sometimes, the best policy is to become part of the change you want to see in the office. Of course, it's not easy at all. But isn't it even more difficult to put up with your competitive colleagues in silence, laughing than the quieter ones in front of the water dispenser? Here are some ways to encourage greater cooperation in the workplace:

• Use inclusive language. Say "We" instead of "I" when discussing projects, team work and results. Everyone must participate and be appreciated for a job well done.
• Show that you see everyone on the same level, with no superiors or inferiors. Don't respond to competitive outbursts with arrogance or jealousy. Instead, show people that you value them for the skills they bring in the workplace, not for the role they play or what they do to put everyone else in a bad light.
• Focus on maintaining the golden rule in your interactions with others. Do not lower yourself to their level: responding in a competitive way or with irreverent comments will fuel even more negative competition, it will not improve the situation.
• Remind yourself that overly competitive people don't usually come to this situation for no particular reason. In fact, fear often motivates their behavior. For example, they fear being excluded or losing their jobs. Keeping this in mind can help you develop a compassionate perspective.
• Don't let their competition hurt you. Accept that you are exceptional and wonderful for all that you are and do. You don't need external confirmation to prove it, nor do you need to continually prove that you are better than others. Ask your colleagues what exactly they want and how they think this will improve their personal lives. Do it tactfully though!

Step 9. Be flexible

The tips given in this step offer you some guidelines. Any situation based on interpersonal relationships develops in a context. You will have to adapt what works and discard what doesn't according to your personal experiences and the style that characterizes the workplace. What might work for one competitive colleague may not work as well for another. This means that you will need to be ready to adjust your approach. This consists of various strategies, such as:

• Reassess how to partner with a super competitive person. Can you find particular elements in his work that you agree with? Can you engage in a discussion that focuses only on the points you accept? If he believes you are interested in his aspirations, you will earn respect and a potential ally.

• Try being curious. Ask them questions about how they found a solution or came up with an idea you admire. Be a good listener; you could learn a lot and improve your own skills.

  

• Do not intervene when there is no need. Sometimes letting competitive colleagues do their homework while you do yours can be a satisfying solution for everyone, provided it gives overall workplace benefits.

Advice

• Incorporate assertive behavior techniques into your communications.
• If the situation worsens after several attempts, it may be worth talking directly to your co-worker or reporting their behavior.
• Try to develop empathy towards this person. She would do no such thing if she didn't feel deeply insecure or threatened. Try to put yourself in his shoes.

Warnings

• Don't complain to a competitive colleague. He will immediately consider you a weak person. If you need help, it is smarter to ask him for advice on the issue that is bothering you.
• Harassment and bullying are unacceptable in the workplace. If you have this type of problem, report it and let us help you.