Competitiveness can be good for success and recognition and prestige in one's academic, professional or personal life. Having an ambitious attitude helps you feel full of energy, able to accept the most difficult challenges and ready to achieve many results. Nonetheless, an individual of this type who does not show any kind of concern for his own well-being or who does not live in a balanced way will sooner or later pay dearly for this neglect, causing self-destruction and perhaps marginalizing those same people he cares most about.
By trying to be competitive in a dignified way and respecting the needs of others, you will protect your well-being and demonstrate controlled ambition, which will help you achieve more fulfilling and healthier success.
Steps
Step 1. Find out the real motivation behind competitive behavior
Typically, we compete with others for the wrong reasons. From the first day we start actively participating in society, then ever since we go to kindergarten, we are exposed to competitive behaviors. Many of us are encouraged to emulate such attitudes in order to keep up with others or stand out. Just accepting a socially approved competitive approach leaves no room for reflection on the boundaries of such behavior. As a result, many assume that being overly competitive isn't a problem, and sometimes they go so far as to hurt themselves or others. Here are other reasons behind this approach:
- Desire to have what someone else has, so you behave competitively because of envy.
- Having the habit of competing with one's brothers or sisters, without understanding where to put a limit to the antagonism since one's childhood. A situation of this type can occur when the rivalry is bitter due to various factors, and is then extended to all other interpersonal relationships.
- Overwhelming need to adapt to the norms and lives of others; it is often easier to follow the rules accepted by society, and many times this quickly gives competitive people an edge.
- Others claim that competitiveness is part of their nature, and therefore use this excuse. Everyone has character facets, and that of ambition is one of many. It is not negative, the problem arises when it is amplified more than necessary. Don't belittle yourself like this, you have so much more to offer!
Step 2. Observe your inner self to understand what really guides you and motivates you to move forward in life
Do you do something because you feel like it or to please others and meet the expectations you think you have to meet? It is easy to be consumed by the overwhelming need to succeed (regardless of the means you have to use to succeed), which is only loosely based on a desire to be accepted and to knock others out.
Within today's society, workaholic is an example of this. If you are a workaholic, you don't worry about the means necessary to succeed. Maybe, like so many others, you use the excuse that it is your natural talent that awakens your competitive instincts; you claim to be indispensable and, in some way, your efforts alone improve the whole world. At the same time, you often don't make an equally deep commitment in terms of time, affection and attention to your loved ones. You lose sight of their needs and set a bad example even in the workplace: you stay late, do what is not right for you, take shortcuts instead of contributing with substantial results, etc. This type of competitiveness makes you detach from society and feeds unrealistic expectations; you give the idea that everyone has to be "superhuman" to survive in professional environments. If you are overly competitive, you will only despise people who do not accept this obsessive approach to working life
Step 3. Try to be sensitive to the feelings and rights of others
In trying to make it to the top, remember that part of your mission is to always avoid trampling on the rights, dignity, and virtues of others. Play honestly based on ethical behavior and personal responsibility. Let your success build on your true potential and your most authentic skills, whether you are an employee, manager, husband, parent, sibling, friend, and so on. The higher you arrive, the more personal responsibilities you have to take on and the better your predisposition must be to always show yourself open to accepting the suggestions of others. You need to be willing to listen to the ideas of those around you and incorporate them into your actions. Be prepared to admit your mistakes should you make them instead of attributing them to others. When your colleagues or loved ones know that you are always considerate of them and value their wishes, they will be understanding when you are wrong. In the meantime, your reputation and dignity will remain intact.
Be more cooperative and less competitive. Suggest strategies for collaborating to carry out projects, tasks, activities, duties, events, and so on shared with your friends, family and colleagues. Cooperative approaches leave room for differences of opinion, change of ideas, compromise and demonstration of everyone's best talents, without anyone suffering
Step 4. Avoid slandering and discrediting others in order to make more money and bring water to your mill
The easiest solution is often to give the impression that others are inefficient or incapable. In the meantime, you work your way to defeat them, at any cost to get that prize you've been craving for a long time. However, this type of behavior only provokes contempt, and breeds bad attitudes towards you. Ultimately, it will backfire, because people will no longer have any faith in you. Behaving like a shark opens all doors to you in the short term. In the long run, it will make you vulnerable to attack, weak and fragile, and you won't be able to count on anyone's support even if you need it. And always remember that when you tumble off the top of a hierarchy, you often come back to dealing with the people you met on the way up. Maybe you supported them kindly, or maybe you slandered them without restraint. If you've always respected everyone, obviously they'll help you get up.
- Do you think gossiping will help you get your way? Anyone who learns of a rumor is tempted to go back to the true source; once they find out that it was you who spread the rumors, you will forever lose the trust of others. While this seems like an attitude that will give you competitive advantages, it is generally known who has spread false information, especially if the gossip was intended to improve your reputation.
- Do you think that negatively speaking to your colleagues, subordinates or loved ones gives you a competitive advantage? Unpleasant words and rude actions make others jump out of their chairs to obey your orders, but remember that fear motivates them, not respect. They will all wait anxiously for the moment you make mistakes and have the freedom to say what they think to unseat you. This behavior is a time bomb, and certainly not ideal for managing your interpersonal relationships.
- Do you like to compete because it makes you feel better about yourself? If so, do you also demonstrate this attitude towards friends and family? By behaving like this, you try to create situations where you will come out victorious and their losers, and it would be really mean to the people you love. There are more effective strategies to feel better about yourself, without harming the self-esteem of the people around you because they can't live up to you.
Step 5. Be proud of others' achievements, don't feel threatened
We all have different abilities, talents and abilities for good reason: because we are social beings, we need to "fit in" to achieve noteworthy results. No one is an island, and thinking otherwise is self-destructive. Instead of trying to discredit others, try another tactic and defend them for a change. Let everyone know that you recognize the commitment of your colleagues, brothers, sisters, partners, boss, neighbors or any other acquaintance who has achieved good results. You will be surprised at the "power" you gain from such behavior: by allowing others to shine, you will shine for them yourself, and they will be absolutely willing to support you.
Let's take Oprah Winfrey as an example: she has always been successful because she surrounded herself with talented people; by promoting their prowess instead of trying to compete with them, she managed to shine for this very reason
Step 6. Use your own confidence and hard work to achieve goals
This means trusting yourself, who you really are and your abilities. If you are not satisfied, competitiveness may manifest itself because you are afraid of failure. Don't fear failure - it can lead you to what you're really good at and take you away from the feeling that you always need to keep up with others.
- If you wish to have more money, then fight for it thanks to your good will and effort. Don't use easy targets or cultivate false relationships to get others to support yourself financially.
- If you don't think you've found a genuine passion to dedicate yourself to in life, read this article. Often, when you constantly try to remedy your weaknesses, overly competitive behavior arises out of fear that others will consider you a scammer or incompetent. It does not mean that you cannot improve and facilitate your life, it means that you have to face reality: what are you good at? What blocks you and pushes you to always want to "beat" everyone?
- Try to understand what determines the need to always win. What do the winners get? Recognition, applause and flattery. Are you looking for all this? If so, you've been overwhelmed by the craving for outside praise. Get out of this vicious circle and, instead, look for your most authentic side.
Step 7. Understand that lying, plotting, or intentionally making plans for personal benefit will not allow you to take healthy competitive approaches; these are simply forms of sabotage, both in private and professional life
This attitude often occurs when we do not have certain skills or talents necessary to achieve results or be successful in work and social situations. However, lying or discrediting others actually jeopardizes the credibility of your ratings and your reliability, especially if they later prove you wrong. And the chances of this happening are much higher if you just highlight your actions and thoughts: where there is smoke, people will try to find the fire to put out. Bottom line: It's possible your reputation and integrity will suffer.
By always showing yourself reliable and ethical in your approach to private and professional life, you will ensure greater peace of mind: if someone tries to get to know you better and investigate you, they will only discover that you are not ashamed of your mistakes and that you have always been willing. to accept your flaws and correct them
Step 8. Give yourself all the time and space you need to achieve your goals
It is impossible to have instant success and get richer overnight; everyday reality is much more difficult. It is mistakenly assumed that a successful person has dropped everything from the sky overnight, which does not take into account the reality of the facts: it took years of hard work, planning, risks and failures. Wishing to succeed overnight, you will condemn yourself to a great disappointment, you will risk putting yourself in search of shortcuts and you will be tempted by unethical actions. Some are even pushed to commit criminal acts in order to be successful, because the risk of losing face or not having the lifestyle they think they deserve will lead them to lose all perspective. Don't fall into this trap: ambition must motivate you to action in a healthy and constant way, not messy and dangerous.
Wanting to become rich, famous or popular overnight is an unrealistic ambition. All good things take time, and the same goes for healthy competition. Stick to your values and principles and you will progress in the long run
Step 9. Be realistic
Learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy competition. Many self-help guides and philosophers will tell you that the biggest competition of your life is the one you entertain with yourself, not with others. By setting achievable goals throughout your life, no matter what age you are or where you are, remember that they will help you measure up to yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think, but give weight to what people you love and admire tell you. It is essential to feel respect for yourself and to know that you are getting results that are relevant to you, without comparing yourself with others. If building a beautiful garden is a project you don't want to give up, then you definitely need to give it a try and try to succeed. If you want to become the CEO of a socially responsible company, you will have a fantastic purpose, which will include all the people you would like to surround yourself with on the path. Whatever your purpose, hold on to hopes and don't distort or subvert progress by succumbing to the fear of not being good enough, avoiding commitment, or not recognizing what others deserve. You already have everything you need inside of you.
Inspire others to follow you by denoting useful competitive skills. By showing a healthy ambition, you teach others to behave in an equally productive way, thus setting an always positive example: those around you will feel inspired to compete respectfully and emulate your attitude
Advice
- Others are watching you. Your children, grandchildren, neighbors, co-workers and many other people can learn based on what they see you do and the behaviors you display. Make sure you have an attitude that sets the example you actually want to convey.
- Competition is healthy when it pushes you to give it your all. You will understand that you are not a shark when others behave friendly and without showing signs of nervousness. At this point, you will appreciate the balance that has been created between the various activities in your life and will fight for your goals at your own pace, without worrying about what others think or do.
Warnings
- Dealing with competitive people is no excuse for you to behave this way too. If you're just arguing, arguing, competing, and trying to stand out in all of your relationships, whether it's with your partner, boss, co-worker, friend, or other important person in your life, start wondering why. That way, you all risk being under stress, not having satisfying interactions, and facing a massive breakdown sooner or later. Be superior and unplug. Start praising this individual's real achievements as soon as you notice them, ignoring everything else. It may take some time, but it will prevent everyone involved from competing destructively.
- Don't confuse healthy competitive behavior with one that isn't. Not all ambitious attitudes are wrong: some allow you to have stimuli and to face the day feeling ready for anything. Instead, they should be avoided when they consume your inner self and well-being, leading you to belittle others or use them to your advantage. They are unhealthy when they destroy relationships you care about and ruin your chances of leading a fulfilling life. Maybe reading it is neither hot nor cold, but you will notice the difference firsthand: try it and see.
