4 Ways to Deal With a Cheating Boyfriend

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Betrayal can cause a breakup in the relationship, or not, depending on the circumstances. There are multiple factors to consider, in addition to the emotions involved. Follow these steps to decide how to behave.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: How to tell if he cheats on you

Step 1. Investigate

Be a detective, and take note of his suspicious behavior. Ask yourself if:

• Is he less intimate with you? If you find that sex becomes less frequent, it could mean something.

  

• Does he dress particularly neatly? Men do it in the beginning, when they are interested in some girl, but when things get serious, they tend to relax about their appearance. If he suddenly starts to change his look or takes an unusual interest in her appearance, he is interested in someone else.
• "Work late" more often? If his "working a lot" in the evening becomes more regular, or if he spends several nights away "for work", he is probably dating someone else. Unless he's really overwhelmed with work; in this case it probably tells you everything in detail. However, if he is vague about his evenings and business trips, and doesn't say much, there is a real possibility that he is seeing someone else.

• Is he always checking his cell phone, and is he reluctant to tell you about it? Some men are simply more reserved than others, but if he gets defensive when you ask him about the messages he receives, he is hiding something.

  

• Does he hide his personal account details from you? More than usual? If he suddenly installs a password on his cell phone or computer, or intercepts mail to privately open bank statement letters, he is probably having an affair.
• Is it far and distant lately? If he's acting anxious when he's around you, there's a chance he's having an affair. But remember, men can be distant for many reasons, so don't jump to conclusions right away. But if he's unfaithful, he'll most likely be nervous, whether it's guilt or paranoia.

• Is he contemptuous of you in front of colleagues? Maybe he's trying to justify his infidelity to convince himself that you're the bad girl.

  

• Have you been talking about an acquaintance or colleague much more often lately? This could mean that he has a crush, whether he realizes it or not. The good news is, if he talks to you about it, he may not have gone too far yet, as it's only teasing him for now. If he has already cheated on you, he probably won't tell you about it anymore.

Step 2. Ask the woman who is having an affair with him if you know her or suspect who she is

Most women sympathize and tell the truth. Often, this is exactly what she wants, for you to know each other. She may want you to leave him so she can have your man all to herself. Many women don't like being someone's secret, or second choice.

Step 3. Ask him

He may not be able to answer you honestly, but you can deduce from his reaction if he is hiding something from you.

• If he reacts by becoming defensive or acting nervously and fervently denies all allegations, he is hiding something.

• If he "doesn't match your question with an answer," it's usually because he doesn't want to lie to you, but he doesn't want to tell the truth either. If instead of answering he asks you: "How can you think such a thing? You don't trust me?" he's probably just avoiding your question.

  

• If he admits, it is for one of two reasons. Either he's telling you that A) he wants to leave you, or B) the guilt is killing him. If he reacts violently and yells, or keeps his head down when he tells you, it is because he is ashamed and regrets his actions. Ask him what his intentions are and if he wants to work things out with you or not.

Method 2 of 4: How to Deal With It

Step 1. Prepare in advance for each possibility

"Betraying" is not always black or white. Depending on how many times he has cheated on you, how long he has been unfaithful, how much he has invested in the affair (s), and how many women he has had, you can decide whether to save your relationship.

• If it is an exclusive relationship with a lover he sees frequently, to whom he gives gifts, and with whom he shares romantic encounters, it means that he is in love with her, and that your relationship is over.

  

• If he has slipped several times, but always with different women who do not involve him and with whom he has no longer remained in contact, it can be solvable, because this means that you can still give him something that other women do not have, if you are the only one. with which he maintains a stable relationship. But you will have to make some changes if you want to change his style, otherwise your relationship will not work out, and he will fall back into old habits.

  

• If he only cheated on you once, he wasn't in himself, and now he's sincerely and completely regretted, he deserves a second chance.

  

Step 2. Decide where you consider a relationship to be over

Where do you set the limit? When you find out how much he has betrayed you, to what extent can you tolerate it? How willing are you to forgive him and move on?

Step 3. Realize that you can be partly responsible

Of course, his actions are unforgivable, but they can be the result of something deeper and you may have contributed in part. Ask yourself if you pushed him to walk away. Maybe you triggered it, putting too much pressure on the relationship, making things too serious and too fast or, on the contrary, you were too light. It could be an infinity of things, maybe you haven't met all their needs and if you want to solve things, there may be aspects of yourself that you need to change.

Step 4. Deal with him calmly

If you approach him in anger, he will quickly get defensive, and he won't be rational or honest with you.

Try to be as understandable as possible. Hear his reasons. Listening to him first of all can ease some of the tensions that have led to him cheating on you

Step 5. Ask him in detail how much he cheated on you

• How many times?
• With how many women?
• How often?
• How long has it been going on?
• Did he cheat even in past relationships?
• How serious is the story with these women / this woman?

Step 6. Ask him what his intentions are

Does he still want to be with you? Or was cheating on you an easy way out of this relationship? Are you in love with someone else?

Step 7. Decide if you are willing to handle this situation or if you don't want to deal with it

Do you want to stay or do you want to leave?

• If in your heart you can't completely forgive him, and if you think you won't be happy if you stay with him, it's not worth the anguish trying to handle the problem, no matter how much you want to.
• If you believe in him and think he will remain faithful from here on out, you should give him a second chance.

Method 3 of 4: If You Stay Together

Step 1. Tell him what to do to regain your trust

• You may believe that he needs to stop going to Facebook or delete some female contacts from his cell phone.
• But be careful to completely prohibit him from talking to other people, as this could lead to him wanting to do so.
• You are fully justified if you ask him to remove the password from his phone. If you think it is necessary, you can ask him to tell you his Facebook password or the one to access his personal email, but, as mentioned, this could make him feel trapped and he could come back to cheat on you again.

Step 2. Ask him what he needs

It may have been something missing in your relationship that caused him to move away from you.

Step 3. Communicate

From here on out, it's clear that you can't let tensions escalate. Trust is built on transparency and honesty.

Method 4 of 4: What Makes Men Cheat

Betrayal can be avoided altogether, if you know what causes it. Here are some tips:

Step 1. Give it space

Don't choke him. If you're clingy or possessive, she can pull away. If he feels trapped with you, he can resort to betrayal as a way to break free.

Step 2. Satisfy him sexually

If he feels that his needs are not met, he will find a way to do it, and if he is not with you, it will be with someone else who will do it.

• Be adventurous in bed and willing to do the things she wants to do as long as her requests are reasonable.
• Boring or repetitive sex can push him to find someone else to satisfy his urges.
• Genuinely enjoying sex makes all the difference. If he thinks he has not satisfied you, he may be tempted to seek confirmation of his abilities as a lover by pleasing someone else.

Step 3. Be careful not to always blame him for everything

Blaming and blaming him for every little thing will lead him to seek attention elsewhere, and not just sexual, but emotional attention as well.

Step 4. Don't engage in power struggles

Love is not a competition, so don't try to win. Rejecting everything he says or complying with everything will make him react.

Advice

• Transparency, honesty and communication are essential in a happy relationship.
• Be willing to hear his version. Her reasons may not justify her actions, but they can help explain them and help you be more understanding.
• Follow your instinct. If you feel you can forgive him, stay with him and deal with the problem; your relationship will be stronger for it. But if deep down you feel that you don't trust him anymore, leave him.
• Be willing to change for him. Betrayal is often the result of deeper problems in relationships.