Being ignored by people is painful. It is not easy to react, in fact you could even get confused, especially if you do not know if this behavior occurs on purpose or is not calculated. In any case, you should consider whether the individual in question is used to ignoring you and wondering what his or her communication style is. If you can understand why he is ignoring you, you will be able to react in a balanced and proactive way.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Why You Are Punished with Silence
Step 1. Ask yourself why there is someone doing this
He may be ignoring you deliberately or without even realizing it. Think back to the last time you spoke to him: was he nervous or hostile towards you? Did you say something that offended him? In this case, he is probably still letting off steam. On the other hand, if you had a good time together last time, there is probably some factor that caused him to ignore you unwittingly. Maybe he has to study for an exam or he has another crush.
Step 2. Ask for an opinion
If the person who ignores you is a friend or colleague, try talking to a mutual acquaintance to find out if they have any idea of the reason behind such behavior. It may help you understand or explain why it acts this way. You may have pissed him off without realizing it, but he may also be telling you in no uncertain terms that he has decided to ignore you to avoid further arguments. A third person can look at the situation more objectively and help you understand why you have been sidelined.
Step 3. Talk to the person directly
Confront the person who is ignoring you. Invite her to talk face to face. Choose a quiet and private place and ask her serenely "You know, I was wondering why you ignore me lately?". Report some evidence of his attitude, such as circumstances in which he did not call back, did not reply to your emails, or did not respond when you spoke to him. Listen carefully to his explanation.
Step 4. Recognize manipulative behavior
If he has only ignored you once, there might be a valid reason. However, if a friend or colleague has adopted a behavioral pattern whereby he systematically ignores the unfortunate person on duty, it is likely to believe that he derives some pleasure from this attitude. Alternatively, he could punish with silence because he expects some apology or tacit consent to a certain question. Finally, he could ignore a subject to leverage his frailties by saying, "If you really knew / loved me, you shouldn't ask me why I'm ignoring you." All these examples point to a narcissistic personality that should be exposed, not indulged.
Part 2 of 3: Taking a Step Back
Step 1. Judge the person who ignores you by observing their behavior
Suppose during a confrontation he tells you that he understands your point of view. Maybe he also apologizes for ignoring you. Later, however, it behaves in the same way. In this case, you need to understand that she is not being sincere and that she has no interest in maintaining a healthy relationship with you.
Step 2. Accept their decision to walk away
Don't make her apologize for ignoring you, and don't waste time explaining your mood to her in relation to her behavior. Those who show indifference probably feel rewarded by such an attitude. Don't play his game by persistently trying to solve the problem.
Step 3. Don't blame yourself
If someone continues to ignore you despite your attempts at reconciliation, it's their choice. Stop thinking about what you have said or done to make them more considerate of you or to consider your point of view more.
Step 4. Keep the door open
If a friend or family member ignores you, tell them you hope for a reconciliation. Don't abandon it. Some people face certain problems before realizing how they can cultivate healthy relationships. Let him know that you are willing to talk to him or offer him a hand if he needs help.
Part 3 of 3: Resolve Conflicts with Those Who Ignore You
Step 1. Frame the problem from the perspective of the diversity of communication styles
Suppose a friend or partner doesn't ignore you to hurt you. He is likely to do this simply to avoid escalating your differences. Perhaps he prefers to have a break and give you time to calm down after an argument. Once you understand the reason for his silence, you will later be able to reconcile without exacerbating the conflict.
Step 2. Accept your mood
It is painful to be ignored by the people we love. We feel frustrated, angry and sad. If you find yourself in this situation, don't lie to yourself. Accepting what you are feeling is the first step in being able to express yourself and show the other person how wrong they were.
Step 3. Consider the structured conversation
Structured conversations are those that are scheduled at a particular time for a particular purpose and take place in compliance with a certain set of rules that prohibit yelling and insults. Both sides are prepared to address the issue after evaluating their respective arguments. A structured conversation can be helpful if someone ignores you over an old problem or a series of issues that are preventing you from establishing a deeper emotional bond.
Step 4. Get out of your comfort zone
Adopt a different communication style. If you tend to get excited during an argument - you scream, get angry, and go into a rage - try to have more self-control when the spirits light up. If, on the other hand, you manage to maintain a certain distance - you ignore the interlocutor, retreat when a conflict occurs and try to explain your point of view only after a few minutes of reflection - try to resolve the situation without using too many emotional filters (avoiding, however, yelling and cursing).
Step 5. Apologize to each other if necessary
If in the course of the discussion you realize that you have hurt the other person's feelings, tell them that it was not your intention and that you are sorry. Nonetheless, he firmly explains that you too feel hurt by the way he treated you by ignoring you. Forgive her and express the hope that she too will find within herself the strength to forgive you if you feel this need.
Sometimes it is difficult to understand why people are troubled by seemingly harmless words or gestures. If the reason someone is ignoring you is difficult to understand or unconvincing, it is still worth apologizing
Advice
- Give time to the person who is ignoring you. Start talking to her again gradually! If he truly cares about your friendship, he won't persist for long.
- If someone is ignoring you and you don't know why, talk to them and try to fix the problem.
- People tend to put others aside when they need time and space to solve some personal problems. If this happens to you, don't take it personally and respect people's privacy.
- First, you need to respect yourself, and secondly, don't rush to ask for clarification - the other person will show up to talk to you. Your priority right now is respect for yourself.
