In this article, you will find some tips that will help you forgive a loved one - a friend, relative or partner - who has done something that hurt your feelings.
Steps
Step 1. Examine the situation carefully
If the person in question suddenly came back into your life asking for your forgiveness, don't make hasty decisions. Tell him you need time to think about it and that you will tell him what you think.
Step 2. Set aside some time throughout the day
Spend this time in a place where you are comfortable and alone. If it helps you, cry. Think about what this person did to you and ask yourself if you can still believe him. If you feel you can trust him again, decide on the level of confidence and intimacy you intend to have with this person. Think about all of the following:
- It is completely normal to feel angry and irritated. But if you want to forgive this person and trust again, put those feelings aside. It will be easier to forget the wrong right away if you don't feel so many negative emotions.
- You need to be sure that forgiving is the most sensible decision. Small, and sometimes even medium, wounds can be healed. But it is first of all important to establish whether the one who hurt us could do it again. If the behavior that hurt you is customary for this person, it is very likely that they will do it again, hurting you again. For example, if a person lied to you, they are likely to do it again.
Step 3. After thinking, get in touch with the person
The best option is to speak to him personally or, at the very least, over the phone. Talk to him about what happened, why you decided to forgive him, and tell him that you are putting your trust in him again.
Step 4. Go slowly
If it's a former partner, meet him a few times in a month to have a coffee and a chat. Try not to go back to the past. Relive the story but don't go back to what has already happened.
Advice
- Rebuild the relationship slowly, especially if the trust was broken.
- Look for ways to express your feelings by painting, writing, exercising, etc.
- Listen to what he has to say, think about it, and THEN decide if he deserves your forgiveness.
- Sometimes it's hard to forget. If you want to do this, look for the strength in yourself and focus your energy on forgiveness.
- When you have forgiven, don't go back to it, it's time to move on.
- Don't give in to any pressure - forgiveness is your choice.
- Talk to a trusted person about your situation, this can help you understand more clearly what you want to do.
- Work hard on yourself, formatting your brain with respect to old memories attached to this person.
