If finding girls in bars, at the gym or in cafes isn't your thing, you may want to search for them online, without the stress of looking around to figure out who is single and who is not. And better yet, you're not limited to signing up to the typical online dating site to find a compatible partner - you just need to know where to look and how to approach women on the internet based on your interests and their interests. Here are some tips to help you find love or something similar, all thanks to cyberspace.
Steps
Step 1. Decide if online dating is for you
They are comfortable because you can keep the relationship completely online, feel at all times of the day and night (night "dates" are very easy on the internet) and stay in your pajamas if you like! The downside is that virtual encounters can lead both to value the merits at the expense of the defects, disappointing both at the first meeting. Assuming you can be honest and are not tempted to pump up your non-existent muscles / extreme interests / books read and manage to limit the lies, it should be fine!
Step 2. Choose the type of girl you want to meet
Before you start looking, think about what you are looking for in a girl. Are you looking for someone your age or older? Do you have interests in common? Also, decide if you want to meet a woman who lives nearby or if you are looking for a long-distance relationship. Of course, you might even think about having the relationship virtual, in which case you could potentially "hang out" with her from anywhere in the world, as long as you speak the same language.
Step 3. Create a truthful profile
You will have to work hard to sell yourself as someone's "ideal match". What kind of items do you want to include in your profile? Although it is tempting online, never lie about who you are and what you do. If you really intend to find a girl online, you need to be honest and open about every aspect of your life and personality. For this, your profile has to be thoughtful and absolutely realistic - imagine you tell your potential girlfriend that you are an experienced skydiver, that you are climbing mountains, you are full of muscles, only to have to reveal to her later that you are a couch potato with a few pounds. too much, whose idea of adventure is to go from the sofa to the fridge without waking the cat.
Post your best recent photo. Never use an old photo, as it doesn't represent your current appearance. If you don't have any acceptable recent photos, get a friend to take some new photos for your profile. These photos can also be used for social networks, so they are a good investment in your virtual reputation
Step 4. Choose your dating site carefully
Check the site credentials carefully. What are the user reviews on the service offered? Have people found appointments on the site or are they all deleting their account? In particular, how many active members (mostly female) are there on the site? It doesn't make much sense to be on a site where you don't meet anyone; it's like going to a singles bar and only finding couples. Find a site that also has people active when you are active. For example, if you work from 9 to 17, find a site that everyone logs in at night. If you work from home, find a site that people log on all day. If you are a night owl, find a site populated by others like you (it will be nice to share waking times with a potential partner!).
Ideal dating sites will likely cost money, because the service will be more valuable. Some allow you to see some details of the profiles for free, but to learn more you have to pay. Expect better quality accordingly (otherwise, complain to the site managers)
Step 5. Learn to read profiles
The way the profiles are written may not be very straightforward, but that doesn't mean you can't learn to read between the lines. Some items to note include:
- See profiles of existing members, including details and photos. Keep in mind that many profiles haven't been updated in years and aren't even active. Avoid the latter.
- Look for profiles that show the person's effort to get your attention. This shows a current interest and a real potential for meeting, and not just trawling.
- Make sure you distinguish between those looking for friendship or love. Regardless of your preference, there will be dates somewhere but don't mix friendship and love. And be aware that many "just for friendship" seekers may be confused as well, so avoid potential problems by clearly stating your intentions in your profile.
- Discard anyone who looks bigoted or snobbish by the profile. Profile comments such as "no fat or pigs" risk dating someone with unreasonable and unyielding expectations of other human beings, which bode well for the person behind the mask.
- Descriptions of an "ideal partner" can give you gut reactions that you should probably listen to. Some potential partners are deeply disappointed in previous relationships and may therefore have a list of expectations of perfection for future dating. On the other hand, the expression of an ideal partner can trigger a spark and hints of compatibility, so keep your radar on the lookout.
-
Look at the age. You may not even be strict about age margins, but you should give yourself some internal limits and stick to them, in case it matters to you. Even if you are more open about age, be wary of girls much younger than you, as they may subconsciously seek out someone to replace a father figure, while the much older ones may be stiff in ways and inflexible, or even old-fashioned. These are simple generalizations, but they should be kept in mind in case you find yourself dating women of a distant age; sometimes compatibility can be ruined by generational misunderstandings or the absence of similar experiences. Plus, his friends (and yours) will usually be from different generations and can complicate the story later on as well.
Watch out for age differences, like a photo with an "80s" hairstyle passed off as "current"
Step 6. Search beyond the usual dating sites to include the various social and professional sites
In addition to the great classics, look for sites compatible with your interests. Hobby, social, professional, religious or sports sites. Here are just a couple of tips that might give you some ideas:
- Peer Groups: Find your former school or college friends on a social network. For example, if you attended Bocconi, do an online search for any groups of alumni.
- Virtual sports clubs. Many have blogs and chats - online engagement can serve as a springboard for face-to-face meetings. For example, if you like running, join an online running club and participate in virtual seminars. Sign up for local races and meet the women you chatted with on the starting line.
- Look for links on Facebook. Your current friends may be able to help you meet girls online. Check your friendships to see if you are attracted to any of their friends. If you discover the profile of a friend of friends and you like what you see, send a private message to your contact and ask about the friend. One of the best ways to meet girls is through other people. Also, that way you can find out if the girl is busy, what she is like, and if she might be interested in meeting you.
- Sign up for professional association sites. While sites like LinkedIn can connect you to thousands of professionals worldwide, look for specific companies and associations where you can interact with other people in your field. For example, if you are a nurse you can join hospital recreation groups. Additionally, your local Chamber of Commerce can offer you opportunities to meet female members online and at professional events.
- Meet girls in online video games. Find a girl who shares your passion for games or virtual reality like "World of Warcraft" or "Second Life". If you meet a woman who seems to "understand" you in your field, make sure she is indeed female. Men may often use a female avatar to play games, so make sure it's a girl before you get infatuated. When it comes to dating women in Second Life, practice activities you enjoy and you will spontaneously find others who share your passions.
- Try religious dating sites. Are you looking for a girl who shares your same passion for faith? Visit one of the many religious dating sites for Jewish or Christian singles. Like other dating sites, you can view profiles and ask girls to go out with you.
- Dating sites based on astrology. Astral dates are with girls who have signs compatible with yours. Obviously you have to believe in astrology for this method to work.
- If you love science fiction, look for girls on specialized sites.
Step 7. Get in touch
Once you find interesting girls, follow the instructions on the site to contact them. Initially, take it easy and be a good virtual "listener" to give her a way to open up. Don't be in too much of a hurry to expose yourself and disclose your interests, concerns and lifestyle or you may scare her. Realize that it is difficult for her to tell you everything about her right away, and neither should you. Limit personal details and keep them largely private. Avoid making things up but if you feel pressured, be honest and say something like "I don't feel ready to expose myself that much yet, but thanks for asking." Too much opening too soon can make you appear too impatient and even desperate.
- Find common topics to discuss. If you met on a gaming, religion, or sports site, you probably have one of those topics. Otherwise, if you met on Facebook or a dating site, ask her about her hobbies and what she likes to do in her spare time.
- Do not disclose your address, telephone number, email address, workplace, etc. until you really know this person.
Step 8. Be consistent
Log in regularly to chat. If you go missing for weeks, he will see you as untrustworthy and may not want to pursue a virtual relationship. One way to stay consistent is to make appointments to chat. Other ways to show interest include Facebook updates, tweets, and sometimes some cute message / picture depending on what she likes.
Step 9. Chat for at least 2 to 3 weeks before dating
The online meeting has the advantage of allowing you to get an idea of his personality regardless of his physical appearance. Ask lots of questions during your conversations and / or emails to get to know his personality. For example, find out what she likes or dislikes about a guy. It would also be a good idea to figure out if he is looking for a relationship. Remember that virtual acquaintance for someone can turn into a kind of "foreplay," where intimacy is quickly established and romantic and even sexual things are said almost immediately. If you're the one starting, make sure she agrees. If she starts, give her a rope and see how comfortable she makes you feel. Things to note when communicating online include:
- Do you take the lead in the conversation, or does she? Or are you quite au pair? Also think about who tries to strike up a conversation most often, to determine how much each is into the other.
- Do you feel comfortable talking about anything with her? Or have you already noticed potential taboo or thorny topics?
- Is there already any alarm bells? Don't underestimate them, they could be important! Things to fear include constant complaints about exes, suggesting an inability to move forward, and expressions of resentment or anger.
- Do you feel comfortable and satisfied when you interact? Or do you pretend to be someone else to "seem" more interesting and to please her? In the latter case, it is possible that you are simply pleasing her even though you are not really compatible.
Step 10. Arrange your first "in person" appointment in a neutral and crowded place
Make sure it's not too long a date if you want it to turn into a real-life relationship. The more you virtually convince yourself that you are the ideal couple, the harder it will be to manage virtual embellishments when you finally meet live. And make sure you choose a safe, public place. A cafe, restaurant, gym or bar / pub are ideal places for a first meeting. Although you have been in conversation for weeks, you still don't know each other very well. A neutral place will ease the tension (especially for her, who may be worried about meeting a stranger) and allow you to enjoy each other's company in person.
- Be considerate, punctual, and discreet. It's complicated and nerve-wracking to meet someone for the first time after having a conversation online, complete with jokes and virtual flirting.
- Treat this person like they like you. Worrying too much about her "understanding" you or getting enough into you can easily sabotage the chemistry of initial knowledge. Relax and assume that she likes you enough to want to get to know you better.
- Stick to neutral, vague, and harmless topics on the first date. Avoid talking about the scars of your last relationship and your need for someone to take care of you, cuddle you or anything else that would make her run away. And leave the politics alone!
Step 11. Don't raise your expectations too high
Love is a question of chemistry. You may have to actually or virtually meet a lot of girls before you feel a real connection with someone. Avoid seeing it as a personal reflection; it is much better to make the right decision based on real mutual attraction rather than forcing yourself into a relationship that is unsuitable for both of you. Get all the appointments you can afford in terms of time and money. And above all, don't give too much importance to waste or the lack of compatibility. It is not really the case to make a drama of it.
- Be polite and dignified if it doesn't work. It might hurt your ego, but don't blame yourself if there was no spark. If it doesn't work, feel lucky that you had the courage to recognize it and be able to resume the search.
- If it goes wrong, it's full of sites to share your frustration with other people who have been through terrible dates!
Advice
- You may find a girlfriend when you least expect it, online or in the real world. Keep all doors open until you find the right person.
- If you're used to saying one thing and meaning another, stop it. It is a manipulative attitude and unfortunately the online context reinforces this bad habit. Be concrete.
- Avoid underestimating yourself when dating this girl. The last thing he wants is a list of insecurities.
Warnings
- Don't try to become the person you seem to be looking for. If you're not her type already, no online fiction will change reality. Likewise, be aware that he may have unrealistic expectations and it may be your chance to correct his crazy ideas about the "perfect man".
- Determine if your potential girlfriend is married - the best way is to ask. Adventures come with too many complications, so avoid them.
- Watch out for the time you lose by sifting through profiles. You can get trapped in the information of the dating site without even realizing it. Give yourself a time limit, set an alarm if necessary, to make sure you don't stay on the site all night!
- Be very careful - certain people you meet online may want your money or worse, they may want to kidnap and kill you.
- Make sure the girl is at least 18 years old. Any kind of relationship with a minor is a crime almost everywhere.
- When looking for virtual love, avoid chats with no rules. They are responsible for the bad reputation of dating sites and can hide all sorts of unpleasant characters.
