Women in their forties and older who date significantly younger men (usually 10 years or older) are generally referred to by the English term "cougar" (which indicates ferocious feline predators, and which is often translated into Italian as "cougar" "). Popular culture portrays cougars as somewhat pathetic and desperate predators. But women have recently begun to challenge this cliché: real cougars, they argue, are self-confident, self-confident singles in their 40s who, disappointed by their male peers' lack of romance and narrow-mindedness, date younger men. more dynamic and more adventurous. This article is intended to offer advice on how to recognize a cougar, which would be more appropriate to simply define "an older woman", and impress her.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Recognizing a Cougar
Step 1. Forget everything you thought you knew about cougars
Indeed, just forget this word! If you are interested in dating, or having an affair, with an older woman, get it into your head that you will have to treat her no more or less like a human being, and not according to the male stereotype of what an older woman is supposed to look and behave like. sexually active mature woman.
Step 2. Try to guess his age
By convention, women aged 40 and over would fall under the definition "cougar"; according to some, however, the age group to which they belong would also include thirty-five-year-olds. Thanks to new generation cosmetics and modern cosmetic surgery techniques, many people manage to look much younger than they are. Here are some detective details, referring to both women and men:
- Dry, dull and / or sparse hair: both men and women, as they age, experience a progressive deterioration in the health of their hair. If you notice, you can often notice that their hair has a fragile appearance, lacking the shine and volume typical of younger locks. It is also possible that they need to use dyes to cover gray hair.
- Sparse eyelashes and eyebrows: as we age, our hormone levels drop, slowing the growth of body hair, and consequently eyelashes and eyebrows also become less dense. Some women, however, shape their eyebrows with a pencil or have a tattoo, so it can be difficult to determine their age based on these indicators alone.
- Thinner Lips and Worn Tooth Enamel: With age, lips pucker and thinner, and tooth enamel deteriorates and wears out. You may notice fine lines around the mouth, thinner lips (but this can be masked with a lip liner), and duller or translucent teeth.
- Thin skin: As people age, their neck skin becomes less smooth and wrinkles and wrinkles appear - unless they use Botox or have had a face lift. The skin also thins on the hands, making the veins, knuckles and tendons more visible.
- Dryness and loss of skin tone around the knees and elbows: With age, the skin in the joints (especially the knees and elbows) tends to dry out and lose elasticity. Especially the skin on the elbows tends to darken, wrinkle and appear much drier than the surrounding skin.
Step 3. Evaluate the trick
Evolutionary psychology has shown that physical appearance and beauty carry far more weight for a woman than for a man in evaluating attraction. This means that while a man's charm may be based on intelligence, humor, bank balance, etc., women continue to be judged primarily by their physical appearance. That's why it's perfectly understandable for a woman to feel the need to put on more heavy makeup as she ages, to try to hide those signs of aging that make her less desirable.
- In fact, you may notice that mature women put more foundation, more powder and more eyeshadow than younger ones: it helps to give brightness and firmness to their face.
- They are also likely to use liner to make lips appear fuller, eyebrow liner to fill in if they are sparse, and blush to give cheeks a fresher, more rosy look.
- Contouring is a technique to define the contours of the face currently very popular with women of all ages, from teenagers upwards.
Step 4. Don't think you can judge her based on the style of her clothing
If we think of the stereotypical speck of the cougar woman, we imagine her wearing clothes that are too youthful for her age, often very tight and a little vulgar (for example in leopard-print fabrics). The reality is that sloppy, tasteless clothing may very well be the prerogative of younger women as well.
- The way a woman dresses, regardless of her age, depends only on her sense of elegance.
- Push-up bras appeal to women of all ages, but older women may find them particularly useful, as breasts tend to fall out over the years.
Step 5. Pay attention to self-confidence
Generally, a woman learns about herself and what she likes over the years, and as she gets older she becomes more and more confident. Here are some signs that reveal a confident person:
- Good posture: Whether sitting or standing, a self-confident person tends to keep their back straight and their head balanced on their neck, with their chin pointing neither too high nor too low.
- Relax: A self-confident person tends to appear relaxed in most situations, perhaps while looking around with a friendly smile on his face, with the serene attitude of one who is at peace with himself. It is unlikely to be uncomfortable.
- Eye Contact: A confident person looks you in the eye and doesn't look away. That said, there's a big difference between looking in the eye and staring threateningly: as a general rule, it's not a good idea to look someone in the eye for more than 60% of the conversation time.
Part 2 of 2: Striking an Older Woman
Step 1. Be aware of what you want and be honest about it
Whether you just want sex, or you're looking for a serious relationship, knowing what you want will help you figure out the best way to achieve your goal. Sincerity is also important to a woman: if all you want is sex, don't pretend you're going to be in a serious relationship. Women like sex too: a little bit of "no-obligation" fun might be just fine for her too.
- A few questions you might ask yourself: Is it just sex (an extra notch to add to your collection of achievements)? Or would you like to have a serious relationship with someone who has a higher level of maturity than the partners you have had so far? Maybe you already have a specific person in mind and are wondering how to get them to notice you.
- If all you want to do is have sex with an older woman, for example, your best bet might be to go to a dating site that specializes in "mature women looking for younger men" and vice versa. There are even cruises dedicated to the purpose of connecting mature women with younger men.
- If, on the other hand, you are looking for a serious affair with an older woman, dating sites can also be a good solution. Always remember to be clear about your intentions right from the start.
- Even women in their forties have a life: this means that you can meet them practically everywhere, from the gym to the rowing club, from the acting class to the supermarket. Spaces for sharing specific interests are the ideal places to make new acquaintances, regardless of your age.
Step 2. Forget about stereotypes
Sure, there are mature women who embody the classic “cougar” stereotype, but there are just as many (if not more) who don't adhere to it at all. As with everyone, aspirations and attitudes change from individual to individual. If you try a romantic approach to an older woman, you might want to make a clean sweep of the “cougar” stereotype and simply treat her with the same respect you would give to anyone else.
- There are some sites that would have you believe that there are specific categories of cougars: the moneyed cougar (or "sugar mama"), the angry cougar, the tender cougar, the alpha cougar and the beta cougar.
- Even if commonplaces may contain a part of the truth, one should always deepen the knowledge of the individual person, instead of trying to frame him in a series of trite and offensive prejudices about the behavior of mature women.
Step 3. Let her know you like her
If you like a mature woman, let them know. The "how" depends on various factors, including where you meet and how close you are.
- If the meeting takes place in a bar, you can let her know you like her by smiling at her, and check if she smiles back at you. If he keeps turning to look at you, it can be a sign of interest in you. At this point, you can walk over to her table and offer her a drink.
- If, on the other hand, the context is a sports association where, for example, running is practiced, your approach tactic will have to be different. You can test his interest level by striking up a conversation after training. The topic shouldn't be anything too serious: to begin with, it's also okay to talk about this and that, about the weather or about the race itself.
Step 4. You may also receive a rejection:
in this case, try to take it well. If you try to approach a mature woman and are rejected, do not react rude: obviously you can feel bad and express your disappointment in a witty but civil way; there is no such thing as, however, that you start offending or threatening it.
- It is acceptable to say: "You destroyed me, but if you change your mind, I'm over there!"
- To avoid, however: “Are you kidding me? Don't you realize the stroke of luck that you have found someone like me who is interested in you? ".
Step 5. Behave "young"
If you're trying to impress an older woman, don't get it into your head that you need to act like her peer. Many women in their forties admit that they seek an affair with younger men due to the fact that they are more open, more adventurous, and more romantic.
- When you go out together, live the adventure and be willing to try new experiences. Share your interests with her and find out about hers. As in any other relationship, appreciate learning and growing with your partner.
- Being adventurous and open-minded will also help you in the bedroom. There is a strong chance that she will clearly indicate what she likes, so it is important that you are willing to listen and possibly follow the instructions she gives you.
Step 6. Be honest about yourself
If a mature woman tells you that her last story is over because her partner was an avid workaholic devoid of any romance, and you are aware that you are going through a crucial moment in your career, so you may be forced to prioritize work. absolute, perhaps not the ideal time to embark on a relationship with this woman.
Step 7. Be trustworthy and transparent
Older women (and men) have more experience in relationships behind them, so much so that they immediately understand if it works or not: the games no longer interest them. Canceling appointments at the last moment, or "forgetting" to call for days or weeks is a behavior that the youngest can tolerate to the limit, but certainly not mature women.
