Ready for a one way ticket to Cougartown? A cougar is a woman in her late thirties-early forties who is successful, independent, sexy, and ready for a younger man. Being a cougar is a question of attitude: if you have it, no one will judge you and you will experience a kind of Renaissance of your sexuality. If you want to find out how to get hotter than Mrs. Robinson or Miranda from Sex and the City, just follow these steps.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Having the Look
Step 1. Don't try to look like a 20-year-old. While there are things you can do to look sexier than ever, your purpose is "not" to look like your daughter. If you try to dress, make up and do your hair like a 20-year-old you will end up looking like what you are not. Being a cougar is all about wearing your age and still looking fabulous, with no lace tops or girlish shoes.
Of course, you can buy stuff in girls' stores if you find something that really fits you. But you will have better luck with sexy clothes in the shops you usually go to
Step 2. Update your cut. Highlights are good for covering gray hair that is starting to show and to give it a new glow. Most cougars go for a sexy and youthful cut. Make sure your new cut fits you well, fits your face and age as well as your body structure. Don't try to look like Miley Cyrus, unless you really believe her latest short cut looks good on you. You can try to rejuvenate your look by doing curls, a layering treatment, or by cutting your hair if you have it long.
- You can choose a helmet if you feel that the long has become too difficult to manage, but do it carefully. You don't have to make it too short to look like grandma.
- Years ago, middle-aged ladies cut their hair sharply and let it turn gray. Today, for heaven's sake! It has become a matter of radical changes, to have perfect and sexy hair. Think Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore, not Martha Stewart. (Helen Mirren is fine if you still want a sexy gray though; it's a matter of independent attitude.)
Step 3. Update your wardrobe
Choose clothes and shoes that have just come off the catwalks. The latest styles and today's fashion are brought by the biggest cougars. This doesn't mean you have to shop at the most expensive stores in town, but you should find clothes that make your body stand out as well as make it appetizing. For a date, wear stuff that accentuates your shape and curves. Burn the tracksuit.
Show your best sides. If you have awesome legs, flaunt them
Step 4. Stay fit
While some say that once you hit forty there's nothing you can do to fight bacon, a cougar will reply, "give me a break." You can become as beautiful as you want if you put it on your head. And if you don't want to look like a model, that's okay. Go to the gym to feel good about your body and mind.
However, don't forget that curves can be super sexy too, as long as they are firm and elegant
Part 2 of 3: Having the Right Attitude
Step 1. Be independent
A true cougar is, both financially and emotionally. While it would be fun to meet a new guy to hook up and maybe have a romance with him, you shouldn't "need" to do it every time you go out. A true cougar feels good about herself so much that she doesn't need someone by her side to feel complete. You should have your friends, your hobbies and your career instead of depending on one man for everything.
Those you meet will be used to young girls who need to experience. You will show them that you are different because they do not "serve you". In return, they will feel they want you even more
Step 2. Don't care about the waste
If you are a cougar, obviously know that you will go against the traditionalist ideas of many people regarding the age and behavior of a woman. And that's normal. It's all up to you, your lifestyle and being able to be proud of it. If someone teases you - likely other women - learn to let it go and get on with your day. You don't have time for this stuff.
- If people make remarks to you because instead of staying at home you always go out, pay no attention to them. You are living life the way you want. We all have our own concept of happiness.
- Hence, a cougar doesn't see failure in her dating. She knows there are men who will drool behind her beauty and sophistication and if she chooses the right one when the time comes, she will never be without company. Remember that you are not looking for a commitment, just a long-term relationship, and being very sexy is a source of extreme excitement for young people. Moreover, they will have the opportunity to learn the tricks of the trade.
Step 3. Set aside your personal baggage
If you're in your forties, you've certainly faced some challenges to get there. Maybe they were professional, a bad divorce, problems in their youth. Whatever your problems have been, try to put them away when you go out. If you really want to date the guy you find, you can confide in it sooner or later, but try to stay fun and light when you enter the dating world.
This does not mean lying if you just got divorced, for example. Try to start with the light stuff and save the heavy stuff later
Step 4. Exudes confidence
If you want to be a cougar with all the trimmings, you have to have this essence. Enter a room as if it were your home, not as if you were going to be the boyfriend who accompanied your daughter to the prom, secretly in the cellar. Show the kids that you love who you are, where you have come in your life and that you are happy with what you have. Smile, maintain eye contact and a proud, straight posture. Be optimistic when engaging in conversation and show people that they should be comfortable in your company.
If you want to wear a fitted dress and high heels, then my dear you must feel very safe. If you have the right attitude, you will immediately catch the eye of the little boys
Step 5. Be proud of your experience
Don't think about all those years spent looking for someone, married or just doing nothing. It's different from putting the negatives aside: you have to understand that you are a woman full of experiences to be proud of, just as you have to be proud of everything you have learned. Have you had three different careers? Great. Have you lived in five states? Even better. Don't try to downplay the fun and exciting things, it'll just make you more of an effect.
When you meet a new man, tell him about the strongest things you've done. He'll think you're even more awesome
Step 6. Show your best to others
Younger men and women, your peers and colleagues are attracted and inspired by a woman who doesn't judge the decisions she makes and knows how to get what she wants. It is time to mentor the younger ones who come to you, you will help them by feeling useful and important, by sharing your knowledge. If you still don't feel ready to jump into it with enthusiasm, remember what you have achieved in life and how you did it. It's time to raise your head and be the woman you know you really are: life doesn't wait and must be grasped now.
- Think about what it took you to get to your current job or to solidify your habits. Have you impressed your boss or others with your knowledge or demonstrated a knack for making the right decisions? Are you one of the best, respected by all?
- Consider everything you do well. Are you a great mother who also knows how to keep the house clean? A shark at work that can make everyone look down?
Step 7. Stop feeling guilty or responsible for others
With age and experience, even the most sensitive women understand that people know how to manage their problems and that it is not up to them to do it (not that they ever have). If someone in your family or friends has always relied on you too much, let them do it for themselves from now on. Detach in a gentle or determined way depending on the person and let others make their own decisions so that you are free to make yours too.
- Learn to discard those who detract from your life. You don't have to let others suck your energy, use it yourself to avoid sinking. No self-respecting cougar tolerates these people.
- Being cold and distant is often considered cruel. But it's an art form, and using this attitude with some people is essential, so that they get the message that you have broken through. Beware manipulators, narcissists and freeloaders!
- Are you a little baffled that you have to take control and get what you want? Being in control and getting what you want is a foregone conclusion for men; cougars learn and use it to their advantage, earning it in power and respect.
Part 3 of 3: Hunt your prey
Step 1. Search in the right places
If you want to find younger men, that is, by the age of 25, then go to the typical places where they congregate, such as trendy restaurants or spas. You will have to check out your city's happy hours, bars, clubs. This does not mean going to those nasty places where beer costs two euros, but it does mean going where young people can probably afford it.
If you want them "really" young, go to university bars. But make sure they are of drinking age
Step 2. Find the one that's right for you
Real cougars don't date those their age (or older). It's already seen stuff, already tried and this age group is the one looking for the most. The purpose of being a cougar is to date young guys whose experience and point of view is fresh, enthusiastic and more like that of women. Obviously avoid those who are not even twenty years old because you could run into problems with the law (minors!), Plus you have to consider that you are as old as their mother in that case.
- As much as you may like young people, try to stay within the limits of an age by which you can still pass for a partner and not a mom - you don't have to babysit an immature baby who is still trying to figure out what he wants from life.
- Look for a confident, sexy, well-dressed guy. Hook it up with your gaze; if he also looks at you and keeps his eyes on you, you are on the right track.
- Avoid young people who flaunt their insecurities. They have yet to grow up without the lessons you could teach them: your experience and sensuality could be the last wound to their fragile ego.
- Choose between men you want to be friends with and those you want to date. Friends are the ones you will hang out with for a long time (with or without benefits); those with whom you go out will have to last a short time, maybe one night and that's it … in short, they are easily replaceable.
Step 3. Teach them a few things about life
The advantage of being a cougar is that you have a lot of experience and you know what to do. So if you meet a guy you enjoy spending time with, you should teach him something without sounding like a mom or a teacher. Nothing serious in short. Order your favorite drink for him too or give him some advice on how to get a promotion. Let him know that it is fun to be with him and that he could learn more.
You can do this as long as you don't threaten his masculinity. Teach without making him feel useless
Step 4. And this also applies to the bedroom
Obviously. Once you have him in the sheets, you don't have to follow his dictates. I mean, he's 22, and he probably had the same boring sex with the ex from high school until he saw you. Don't wait for me to give you what you want; show him how to do it. He will get excited because you took the initiative and both of you will eventually be satisfied with the result.
Young people are grateful in bed if the woman has more experience. Plus men in the twenties are at sexual climax, so enjoy the benefits
Step 5. Don't worry about the age difference
If you want to have fun with your new toy, stop reminding him that it could be your child. It is useless. What matters is that you are enjoying yourself and want to keep doing it… instead of worrying that you are not adult enough to rent a car.
Don't keep bringing the subject up and if you come out, laugh. You can teach him something without reiterating that he is half your age
Step 6. Hold the knife by the handle in relationships
A cougar never leaves the relationship lead to him, even if she lets him "think" he has it. Be one step ahead of him and anticipate his next move. Be ready to leave if things get serious or if the relationship takes a turn you don't like.
This is your enormous power; stay calm, be true to your plans to freely hang out with whoever you want and everything will be fine
Advice
- But seem desperate or too excited about a guy's attention. Guys like it when you look aloof and act like you can pick them up or keep them.
- Never talk to younger ones directly about sex. Show your brain before the rest.
- Avoid meeting your toy boy's mother. He's probably your age or a little younger and wouldn't like to know that he's dating you.
Warnings
- Wait several months before introducing the man who is becoming fixed to your children. Children of a divorce often grow fond of quickly or hate someone new. Give the relationship time to mature and let the children understand how happy you are before making a formal presentation.
- In a world full of sexually transmitted diseases, always practice safe sex, every single time.
