It is only a matter of time before you run into someone who is always late, cancels important meetings at the last minute and never lives up to their commitments. These are the classic people who are called "butterfly". Almost all of us have been butterflies in a period of our life, but chronic unreliability can be really annoying and destructive. This attitude can make your life hell, so keep reading this article to learn how to avoid it.
Steps
Step 1. Observe its relationship to time
Butterflies often have organization problems. Do you arrive at the classroom seconds before the bell rings or enter the meeting room just before it starts? If so, it could be a warning sign.
Step 2. Notice his work habits
Most of the time the butterflies don't take their job seriously, or do the bare minimum. These are not good signs, since butterflies don't like to work. Maybe it depends on their insecurity or perfectionism, but don't make hasty judgments the first time you meet a potential butterfly.
Do they offload all the work on others, do things at the last minute or do they only work if they are kept an eye on? These aren't good signs either
Step 3. Consider their reliability
Determine whether or not they have a problem with commitments. When you are at school, do they cancel an appointment to study together just before you take the bus? If you're working on a presentation for your boss, do they call you late at night to say they can't work with you? These examples are usually followed by a whole series of excuses, which may or may not be credible.
Step 4. Think about how they treat you
Butterflies are often fickle in how they relate to you. They are fluctuating in their relationship modes: one week before you are their best friend and the next they hate you? Do they send you malicious emails and then act like they haven't done who knows what when you ask about it?
Step 5. See how they communicate
Some will make unkind comments about you knowing they will annoy you. Then they'll pass them off as jokes. Do they communicate precisely or are they dispersive? How often do they respond to your calls, messages or emails?
- When someone does not respond to your communications (especially urgent ones) it is another sign of poor organizational capacity.
- If they can't have a straightforward conversation with you, they're usually not taking the relationship seriously (or they're shy, or have poor communication skills).
Step 6. Take note of their behavior within a group
Some have a certain group they want to integrate into, so keep an eye on them when they're in this group. Do they launch into a conversation that involves many people, and only talk to you when no one is around (as if they are ashamed of being seen in public with you)? Do they also treat other people in this way?
When they treat you coldly, it may not be superficial. They may be shy, in a bad mood, disagree with you on something, have poor communication skills or maybe they are interested in you
Step 7. Butterflies are not as destructive as you might think
Most of the time it's possible to be friends with them. They are usually not self-centered and it is easy to be with them. It is possible to be friends with them, but the key is not to rely on them.
Whenever you rely on a butterfly for anything, the project will often collapse the moment they back down. This is because you have given them a responsibility that they are unable to bear and therefore you have to take charge of their work (as well as yours)
Advice
- Try to keep your superficiality under control as much as possible. Not only will people be able to count on you, but you will also be respected for your trustworthiness.
- The butterflies have two types of excuses: those that are fantastic and credible, or those that make absolutely no sense. Keep this in mind when they blow you up at the last minute.
- How do you know when you are getting too involved with a butterfly? When you start to consider him a business partner or ask him to help you with an important project and then you are forced to change your relationship a lot.
- Butterflies often do not immediately download their work to others. They tend to take their time, chat non-stop and are not very efficient. This attitude is usually very annoying and sometimes someone takes over their share of the work.
- When you remind people like that about the obligations they have and are in a good mood, they are likely to get angry with you.
- Moths aren't usually very destructive, but they can be extremely annoying
- Always try to read the body language of the potential butterfly. This will save you the confusion in the long run.
Warnings
- Never get seriously involved with a butterfly. This could cause you a lot of stress in the long run.
- Don't constantly remind him of his being untrustworthy. You will only make him angry. Instead, try to emphasize it - possibly when he's in a good mood or quiet. Maybe he could understand that people consider him a butterfly and that no one will trust him or be taken seriously at the moment.
