There are many reasons why a friendship can end. Sometimes people come to a point of disagreement that they can't retrace their steps. Others take different paths. Therefore, you may find yourself in the situation where, despite your best efforts, a friend does not want or cannot continue dating you. It's sad, but it happens to everyone. Remember that you have the strength to survive and carry on.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Forget
Step 1. Take your time to express your displeasure
It is very painful to lose a friend. In the short term it may seem like a good idea to pretend that nothing happened or to repress the pain, but in the end it will be much more difficult to move on. Admit that you have lost an important person and that you have every right to feel sad.
- Don't be afraid to cry. The tears will help unleash what you are feeling.
- In fact, it can be very liberating to listen to sad songs or see a melancholy movie. You will realize that you are not alone in your suffering and you will have the hope that over time the situation will improve.
Step 2. Delete the old correspondence
Don't cling to messages or emails that you are likely to be tempted to reread. By repeatedly reviewing what you have written to each other, you will only prolong the feeling of loneliness and pain of ending your relationship.
Try saving a copy on a USB stick and giving it to a friend or family member, because there may come a time when you won't feel the pain of looking back on the old days when friendship was still strong
Step 3. Delete him from your virtual friends or stop following his activity on social networks
Seeing what your friend is doing without you will make you mull over the past instead of looking into the future. You'll be able to recover earlier and turn the page more easily if you don't have the ability to continually check what they post on Facebook.
Step 4. Get rid of the photographs
You don't necessarily have to throw them away, although you may. Eliminate anything that reminds you of your friend, such as gifts and souvenirs.
Step 5. Write down what you are feeling
To better process your emotions, try writing them down. You may wonder what went wrong or feel angry at your friend. Try to write down all the feelings you feel by writing him a letter, even if you decide not to give it to him. Once finished, you can tear it off or put it in a drawer. Your purpose is only to reflect on your state of mind.
Step 6. Don't feel guilty
Avoid viewing this loss as something that is entirely up to you. There are many reasons why a friendship can end. Even if you feel that you have contributed to your friend's departure, know that in all relationships the responsibilities must be shared between both sides. You don't have the ability to control anyone but you.
Part 2 of 3: Seeking Support
Step 1. Consult a therapist
If you find it difficult to leave everything behind, try to deal with what you are feeling with the help of a professional. A good psychotherapist will be able to listen to your point of view on what went wrong in your friendship and will help you learn from mistakes.
Step 2. Call a family member
When you have a problem with a friend, don't forget that you can find safe support in the family. Try calling someone who has experienced a similar situation in the past with a friend. Maybe a parent or grandparent with more life experience, or any other relative, will be able to give you tremendous comfort.
Step 3. Talk to other friends
Ask for advice from people who don't know the friend you lost. They can listen to your outbursts and offer you a more objective opinion on the whole affair. Let them know how much you appreciate their support. Remember that even if you have lost a friend, you are not completely alone.
Step 4. Pay attention to friends you have in common
They are probably not the best people to talk to when you feel the need to think about the end of your friendship, because you run the risk of putting them in an awkward position. On top of that, they may drift further away if they feel compelled to take sides. That said, you don't have to forbid their company, as it's a great way to remind yourself that you have other friends who care about you.
- Avoid talking about the person who no longer wants to date you.
- Try to focus on common interests with those who have remained friends with you.
Step 5. Don't speak ill of your lost friend
It's upsetting when a friend tells you he doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. Don't give in to the temptation to speak ill of him or to ruin his reputation in some way. When the waters have settled, you may realize that, in reality, all is not lost. You may even establish a closer relationship after a strong disagreement. Therefore, avoid making the situation worse or lessen any chance of mending your friendship by talking badly about him behind his back.
Part 3 of 3: Turn the Page
Step 1. Realize that you will have other opportunities to make new friends
Many people are bound to come in and out of your life. This relationship is likely to have run its course. Think of this breakup as an open space that you can fill with new and stronger friendships.
Step 2. Be grateful
When a friendship ends, it's easy to focus on the negatives. Reflect on everything you are grateful for in your life. List the people you still feel close to, the qualities and strengths you are proud of, the friends you hang out with, and whatever else you enjoy doing. Keep this list in your wallet or purse, or hang it above your desk so you can look at it when you feel lonely.
Step 3. Exit
If you stay home and mull over the friendship you have lost, it will be harder to move on. If you find that spending too much time indoors makes you sad, don't hesitate to go out. Go jogging or go to the gym. Go to places where you have the opportunity to meet other people, such as a bar, library, or concert.
Step 4. Take a course
A new interest can be an excellent distraction and help you make new friends. Sign up for a class that piques your curiosity to keep you busy. Yoga and meditation are particularly useful in times of difficulty. You could also consider taking a cooking or dance class, or learning to play an instrument.
Step 5. Do everything you love
Don't let the end of a friendship stop you from having fun. Make sure you take the time to do whatever you like and make you happy. Read, play video games, hang out with other friends, play an instrument. Keep busy.
Step 6. Be patient
It takes time to recover from such an episode. While you will likely feel very lonely and depressed, know that no suffering lasts forever and that, if you take care of yourself, you will be able to find the strength to overcome it all.
