Not all friendships last forever. If you have a group of friends who are bullying, irritating, or detrimental to your well-being, you should consider abandoning them. You can move away from them suddenly or gradually. When you make this decision, you should communicate it with the utmost sincerity. Before distancing yourself, think about ways you can iron out the situation by expressing your concerns or simply spending less time with them rather than leaving the group for good.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Choosing the Way To Walk Away
Step 1. Tell everyone about your decision
The most direct way to leave a friendship circle is to let each person know of your choice. You can talk to everyone at the same time or to one at a time. The conversation will likely be awkward as they may have a lot of questions.
- If you have a very close relationship with each of them, perhaps you should tell them all at the same time.
- If, on the other hand, you are more attached to some, you can choose to communicate it to people with you have a stronger friendship and inform others of your decision later.
- Be well prepared if you intend to face the whole group. Make a few notes or write your speech on a piece of paper to make sure you don't forget anything.
Step 2. Walk away slowly
Instead of communicating your choice directly and definitively, consider distancing yourself slowly and gradually. Unless they are involved in something dangerous or illegal, don't feel compelled to end relationships abruptly. If you don't want to hurt their feelings, you can choose to see them less, until you completely detach yourself from them.
- Stop sharing the details and the most intimate events of your life.
- Spend the time you spend with your friends with other people or pursue a new hobby.
- Don't immediately respond to their calls and messages.
- Over time they will turn into acquaintances and eventually drift away from you (if that's what you want).
- Be aware that they may have doubts and perplexities. They will probably ask you why you are moving away, what is the problem, if everything is okay, etc. Be prepared to answer truthfully.
Step 3. Cut all bridges
This approach may seem cold and aloof, but it is best suited if you are surrounded by overbearing or deleterious friendships that you need to cut out of your life. It's not a great way to leave a group of friends just because you can't handle the embarrassment of honestly communicating your decision or answering their questions. Empathy, integrity and honesty will pay off over time. Furthermore, by abruptly closing all relationships, you will always have the feeling of having to "dodge" or avoid them if in the future you meet them again during your journey.
- Do not give explanations and do not answer calls, text messages or e-mails.
- Block them on the accounts you have opened on social networks.
Step 4. Organize a party
If you have to move for work or go to college, you will likely be forced to part with your closest friends. In this case, you could throw a party with them. Think of something you'd like to do: spend a day at the water park or have dinner at your favorite restaurant. Use this occasion to celebrate your friendship and remember all the good times you spent together.
- Use social networks, text messages and emails to stay in touch with close friends.
- Go see them when you get the chance.
- Write a letter to each of them to communicate all your affection. Thank them for their friendship and mention the moments when they showed their solidarity.
Part 2 of 4: Adopting the Right Attitude
Step 1. Be honest
If they insist on an explanation of your choice, be honest regardless of your motives. For example, don't say you're moving away just to avoid them or leave the group. Rather, be open and honest about why you want or are forced to distance yourself from them.
If you have less difficulty expressing yourself in writing, there is nothing wrong with sending an email or letter to a group of friends (or the most charismatic person) explaining your reasons
Step 2. Respect their sensitivity
Sometimes, the truth hurts. So, find a way that allows you to be honest and respectful at the same time. For example, if you need to distance yourself because they no longer share your interests or you are bored in their company, try a more diplomatic approach by explaining that you have a hard time relating to them. Don't communicate your choice in an unpleasant way.
- Emphasize your mood and point of view, without accusing them by saying, "You are rather boring."
- Lies only feed other lies. Therefore, it is best for you to honestly express your reasons for withdrawing from the group.
- Sometimes it's best to give a vague answer, because it can be honest and respectful. For example, "I'm busy" or "I've been on a trip" can be a good explanation when friends want to know why you don't see them that often anymore.
Step 3. Maintain your position
Friendships - especially long-standing ones - often go out of their way to convince you to retrace your steps. In this case, be firm on your decision. Don't give in to group pressure or bullying.
- For example, if someone tries hard to keep you away, say, "I'm sorry, I'm very busy" or "We had a great time together, but now I need some time to be alone."
- Keep calm and thank the people you intend to leave (or have already moved away from) when you decline an invitation to go out.
Part 3 of 4: Finding Additional Alternatives to Get Away From a Group of Friends
Step 1. Talk about your concerns
Try to point out any behaviors you find unacceptable. For example, if they always exclude you, try to confront at least one member of the group face-to-face. Maybe they don't intend to marginalize you on purpose, so if you communicate your mood, they could correct this behavior and have more consideration for you in the future.
Step 2. Take a break
Sometimes, a probationary period away from friends can help you figure out if you are truly happy without them. Use this separation to see how you feel about excluding them from your life. Make new friends, pursue your hobbies, and hang out with family members you are most attached to.
- If you feel calmer during this time, turn your break into a definitive break away.
- On the other hand, if you miss them, you should use this short period of reflection to understand why your relationships aren't so compromised and reconnect as soon as you get the chance. Tell your friends how much you missed them and that you can't wait to see them again.
Step 3. Encourage them to change
While it's best to leave friends who engage in negative behavior alone, it's also worth trying to dissuade them from making harmful choices and help them understand their mistakes. Before distancing yourself from people involved in anything illegal or dangerous, make a few attempts to help them improve their conduct.
- If they abuse alcohol or drugs, encourage them to hang out with Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous and seek counseling for their addiction.
- If they want you to take part in theft or vandalism too, dissuade them. Remember that they could get in trouble if they are caught and propose to do something different, like go to the movies.
Part 4 of 4: Recognizing the Right Time to Get Away From Your Friends
Step 1. Pay attention to controlling entities
Consider distancing yourself from a group that prevents you from socializing with other people. He may also speak ill of other friends, family or partners in an attempt to get you away from them. Do not hesitate to close contacts with this kind of people.
Step 2. Notice if they have a bad influence
People often emulate the conduct they see in others. For better or for worse, friendships exert a strong influence on our life. If your friends are misbehaving, you should let them go before they get you in trouble. You should consider walking away from them if:
- They steal from shops;
- They use alcohol and drugs;
- They commit acts of vandalism in public places or private property;
- They commit immoral or illegal acts.
Step 3. Distance yourself if they don't invite you out
Consider detaching from them if they ignore you every time they meet. It could be an indirect form of bullying (exclusion from the peer group). They don't deserve your company and aren't true friends.
Step 4. Avoid interested friendships
If you hang out with a group of people who only look for you when they need something, they're not true friends. If you give money, food, or a place to spend the night, but your generosity is never returned, they are taking advantage of you, so you shouldn't hesitate to turn them away.
Step 5. Beware of overly competitive subjects
If they're always trying to step on you, it's time to part with them. Avoid people who try to belittle your successes. They are not true friends and it is not worth maintaining relationships with them.
- For example, they don't have sincere affection if you say you got 26 on an exam and they claim they got higher grades to demean your scores.
- On the other hand, consider not dating them anymore if you let off steam talking about a bad day and, for their part, they point out that they have been through worse times than yours.
Step 6. Forget about friendships that take away all your energy
Time spent with friends should make you feel more energized and energized.
- If you make up excuses to avoid them, they probably won't do your psychological well-being.
- Forget the people who pester you with their complaints, their dramas or their criticisms.
Advice
- If you can, walk away from the group with your best friend. This way, you will have someone to talk to once you cut the most deleterious people out of your life.
- Don't push other friends to leave the group, but suggest this idea if you see fit.
