It is certainly embarrassing to have guests in the house and feel the need to kick them out, but fear not, there are polite ways to get rid of those friends who seem to ignore every rule of discretion. If the veiled suggestions don't work, you can directly, but politely, declare it's time to end the party. When you decide to do this, you obviously take into consideration the feelings of your friends and, above all, the situation.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Giving Suggestions
Step 1. Suggest that they continue the party elsewhere
If you want guests to leave your house, but don't mind spending more time together, you can suggest they go somewhere else. Say, for example, "Shall we go for a drink at Caffè Rosati?", Or "Who wants to go bowling?". Your friends will likely start pitching alternative proposals until everyone agrees on the next destination.
If you don't feel like going anywhere else, you might say, "I hear the new corner bar serves special drinks on Tuesdays", or "Caffè Greco is the perfect place to end the night". The guests will likely accept the suggestion and continue the party elsewhere
Step 2. Pretend they want to leave
When you decide it's time for everyone to go away, try saying, "Wow, I held you too long! Go home and rest, in the meantime, I'm starting to tidy up", or, "Good heavens, I held you hostage for hours! Surely you will be tired and ready to go home ". They will hardly contradict you, and they will not linger further in chatter, finally leaving you free to go to sleep.
Step 3. Check the time and look surprised
Look at the clock and be surprised that it is so late. You might say, "Oh my God! It's past midnight!" or, "Damn, I didn't realize it was six hours already!" Maybe your friends will understand that the time has come to remove the curtains.
Step 4. Declare that you have a full agenda
Reminding guests that you have busy schedules may cause them to leave early. Try saying something like, "I still have a lot of chores to do before I go to sleep," or, "I'll have a busy day tomorrow, I need to rest." It's hard for them to get the hint, so they'll say goodnight and walk away.
Step 5. Get help from a trusted friend
If there are trusted friends among the guests, you can ask for their help in getting the guests to leave. Talk to them privately, asking them to leave at a certain time. At the agreed time your friends will stand up, and simulating obvious fatigue, they will announce that they want to leave. You will see that the other guests will follow suit.
A friend of yours might say, "What a beautiful evening! Too bad it's so late, it's time to go."
Step 6. Yawn repeatedly
By yawning you will show that you are tired and that the only company you want is bed - of course this ploy only works at night; if the invasion of guests happens in broad daylight, you will have to think about something else. You may also be acting sleepy or distracted, thus highlighting how late it is and how much you would like them to leave.
Step 7. Begin to do the evening activities
Clear the table or head to the kitchen to wash the dishes. You can also turn off the music, blow out candles, or turn off the lights in unused rooms. These normal actions should indicate to guests that the evening has come to an end.
Step 8. Pretend a discomfort such as a headache or stomach ache
This white lie always works, but use it as a last resort; being direct is always better. Many people have a phobia of disease, so they will leave immediately to avoid any possible contagion.
You might say, "I think I got some sickness", or "I don't feel so good, would you mind if we postpone it for another time?"
Part 2 of 3: Asking Guests to Leave
Step 1. Joke about the situation
If you think your guests are witty, use a joke to say it's time to leave. Smile then, to show that you were just joking. Usually, people will get the hint and go home rather than waiting for you to ask them again.
For example, say, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!" Or, alternatively, "Well, I'm going to sleep. Turn off the lights and close the door when you leave!"
Step 2. Ask if you can offer them anything else
Offering guests the last drink, something left over from dinner, or a treat to eat on the way home should be a clear indication of your expectations. Also, receiving a thoughtful offer will make your indirect invitation to leave more polite.
Ask your guests, "What else can I offer you?" or "Can I give you a bottle of water for the return home?"
Step 3. Tell your guests that the party is over
If you've organized a party or other type of meeting at your home and you think it's time to end the evening, you can openly declare it. You might say, "Friends, sorry but the party is over! It was a really great night and I hope to see you again soon." The direct but polite approach should have the desired effect.
Step 4. Tell a roommate that you need your space
If you have a roommate, or you live with your partner, and the house or rental agreement is in your name, you can ask them to leave. Try to deal with the subject when you are alone, staying calm and respecting the feelings of the other party.
- Try saying, "While it was nice to live here together, it doesn't work anymore; I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave."
- If the ownership of the home, or the rental agreement, is in your name and the other person refuses to leave, legal action may be required.
Step 5. Tell your guests that they are no longer welcome
It can be frustrating to endure the presence of a friend or family member if that borders on intrusiveness. Explain in clear terms why it is time for them to leave.
- You might say, "I can't support you yet," if the guest in question is too much of a financial commitment and has never offered to help with daily expenses or bills.
- If someone has settled in a room in your house, try saying, "It's time to return the room to Roberto", or "Francesco needs to use his office every day and since you have lived here he hasn't been able to anymore. to do it".
Step 6. Offer to help guests find new accommodation
When you ask your guests to leave, offer your help to find another place to settle down! For example, you could search the online classifieds for accommodation that is within their financial means, or go with them to see some homes available on the rental market.
Part 3 of 3: Handle the Situation Better
Step 1. Be reasonable and respectful
The situation is delicate, so you have to do your best to prevent your guests from getting defensive. Avoid sarcasm and phrases like, "Don't you have any other place to go to spend your time?". Instead, try saying, "We were happy to have you here Mario, I hope we'll keep in touch", or, "Thanks for visiting Lisa! See you soon to have lunch together."
If you don't really want to, avoid invitations to stay in touch or to future meetings. In this case, just say "I'm sorry, but it's time for you to go."
Step 2. Prepare to deal with their disappointment
Sometimes these people may not like the invitation to leave, even if it is presented in a polite manner. You will have to take this risk if you just can't stand their presence anymore. Emphasize your affection for them and that your request is not dictated by something personal.
- For example, say, "Nothing personal Giorgio, but I have a complicated morning in the office tomorrow. Why don't we meet for a drink on the weekend?".
- You could also say, "Federica, I see you're upset, but please don't take it as a personal attack. We agreed to have your weekly visit, and it's been ten days now. I can help you find an available apartment if you want.".
Step 3. Determine the end of the event first
Make it clear how long you want your friends' stay to last. Specify the time on the invitation, such as "6 pm-10pm". If you call them over on the phone, let them know how long you want them to hang out, saying something like, "We have to finish by 9 tonight, because Gina has a business meeting early in the morning."
- Alternatively, when the guests arrive you could say "The party ends at 11 tonight", or "We have a full agenda for tomorrow, so we won't be late."
- When dealing with guests who intend to stay in your home for some time, immediately clarify the terms of the visit by saying phrases such as, "You will only be able to stay with us for two weeks", or "You will have to find another accommodation by April 1st. ".
Step 4. Don't be persuaded to change your mind
When it's time to leave, guests may try to convince you to extend their stay, but if you have clarified the term of their stay beforehand, you clearly prefer that they leave immediately, so stick to your intentions. If a friend asks you to stay a few more days, or if a guest wants to convince you that the night is still young, don't be persuaded, repeat your decision and, if necessary, explain your reasons again.
