The life coach is a useful figure if you need help managing various aspects of your life, from career to finances, passing through loved ones. You can hire one or become one yourself; after all, who can forge our destiny if not ourselves?
Steps
Method 1 of 3: First Part: Introspection
Step 1. Observe your behavior and thought patterns to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and identify aspects of your life that need improvement
Before fixing a problem, it needs to be defined.
- Practice observing your life from an objective point of view, or from an external perspective. This will take months and months of testing, so be patient and remind yourself to think differently than usual.
- Take note of how you react to stress, excitement, anger and anxiety, human emotions that we all handle differently. Is your reaction to negative emotions rational or overly dramatic? Pay attention to the factors that trigger them: school, work, family, marriage matters, etc.
Step 2. Analyze your relationships with others
The relationships you have with family, friends and colleagues reveal a lot about who you are. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you often quarrel with your friends or family members? Who instigates discussions?
- How do you reconcile? Do you compromise or do you always want to win?
- Are there people in your life who make you feel irritated or insecure? Why does this happen?
- Have you neglected or ignored your loved ones? When was the last time you showed affection for a friend or relative?
Step 3. Identify your fears and insecurities about the future in order to put them into perspective and separate rational from irrational fears
The key is to determine if a fear represents a real danger or if it is the result of your personal uncertainties. Follow this exercise:
- Think of a fear. Example: “I'm afraid of going back to school because I don't think I'm a good student”. Now, imagine that this phrase was said by a friend of yours or a member of your family. How would you react? What kind of advice would you give him? Would you tell him to give up or prove himself? Often, we are able to give others better advice than we do for ourselves, because when something concerns us personally, we are confused by our own insecurities.
- Remember that even the most successful inventors, entrepreneurs and scientists at some point found themselves questioning their abilities. Probably, the people around them were only discouraging them, yet, they continued to follow their dreams.
Step 4. Start writing a journal to tell the ups and downs of your life and your reactions to these situations
Rereading what you have written will help you look at things from a different perspective, notice repeating paths and identify recurring problems.
Reread what you have written in the past. Now that those events are distant, do you think you reacted properly when you faced them? Could you have handled them better? Learn from your mistakes for the future
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: Choose the Right Path
Step 1. Make a list of your interests
The best way to have a fulfilling life is to spend time doing what you like best. Whether it is art, science, politics or the environment, never forget your vocation. What mark do you want to leave in the world? Think about the following ideas to understand which path is correct for you:
- Learn to discern between your hobbies and your vital passions. Just because you enjoy playing guitar doesn't mean you should pursue a career in music. But if you are passionate about this tool and it is always present in your life, from when you get up to when you go to bed, keep practicing to perfect your skills and pursue your dream.
- Don't give up on your hobbies. A non-profit passion should not be abandoned. To tell the truth, it should be encouraged. In life you have to learn to balance between duty and pleasure, or your emotional health will suffer. But if you have never worked a single day of your life, you will not be able to enjoy your free time and time spent with your friends.
Step 2. Explore and develop your talents
If you want to reach your potential, you need to take the time to solidify the talents you already have and bring to the surface those you haven't yet discovered.
- Take a course in a discipline that may interest you, even if you have no experience in the subject. It can always open a door to a career that you would never have considered.
- Don't be discouraged if you realize you don't have a talent for something. Don't forget that recognizing that you are not talented for a certain activity is a step in the right direction, which will allow you to understand what you can excel at.
Step 3. Follow your goals with passion and responsibility
Once you have decided what to do, set out along the path. Get ready to overcome obstacles, without expecting immediate results. All good things take time and hard work, but in the end, you will receive a reward.
Remember that regretting something is worse than regretting it. What do you want to hear when life comes to an end?
Step 4. Defend yourself
You will always meet opportunistic people, both financially and emotionally. Take care of your sensitive and affectionate side, but also develop the ability not to be stepped on by anyone.
- Be skeptical of those who borrow money from you, they always expect you to pay and demand favors without returning them. This person is taking advantage of you.
- Make your voice heard when something is bothering you. Whether it's your employee, your partner, or a family member, you should learn to make people understand when they cross a certain limit. You may be surprised to find that the other person did not have the faintest idea of the mistakes made against you.
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Having a Positive Mindset
Step 1. Learn to silence negative thoughts
Someone said we are what we eat. But, to be honest, we are first and foremost what we think. Positive thinking has the power to transform the most banal or unpleasant experience into a wonderful one. Thinking constructively will lay the foundation for a happier life, no matter what happens to you.
- If you find yourself thinking of something harmful, take a step back, identify the thought and label it as "negative". Learning to isolate counterproductive thoughts will help you put aside your worries and insecurities.
- Meditate regularly. Meditation is necessary for developing mental awareness. Not only does it push you to silence the negativity, it also allows you to calm all thoughts, whether positive or negative, making you enjoy the present.
Step 2. Surround yourself with positive people
Remember that the energy of others has a huge influence on you, especially if you spend most of your time with certain people. Be with people who make you feel good.
- This does not mean that you should abandon friends or family members that you consider negative. Rather, try to exert a positive influence on these people instead of succumbing to their negativity.
- End physically or emotionally violent relationships immediately, however understanding and forgiving you may be.
Step 3. Be grateful
We usually define ourselves in terms of what we want to do or what we want to have. In other words, we define ourselves in terms of what we don't have. This suggests that we are somehow incomplete. Take some time each day to be grateful for the things you have, material or spiritual.
- Keep positive memories in mind. Often, it seems impossible to forget sad things, and we neglect our best days. Remember special holidays, vacations and simple moments spent with your loved ones.
- Appreciate the beautiful people in your life. If you are depressed because you are single, just thinking about it will only make you even more unhappy. Take the time to appreciate your family and friends.
