Sadness often seems unbearable. Most of the time, people do everything they can to get rid of it from their lives. This means that it is never recognized or expressed as it should. In fact, it is an important and natural reaction in the face of difficult events and what is missing in life. It indicates that we have lost something or that we should make changes to cope with the most stressful situations. So, try not to avoid sadness. Rather, recognize it and learn to overcome it.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Understanding Sadness
Step 1. Learn about sadness
It is a natural reaction in the face of a loss and all the negative or undesirable consequences that it entails. A loss can involve many things: the death of a loved one, the loss of one's identity, or the deprivation of material possessions. Sadness is a natural way of reacting to these kinds of events.
For example, you may feel sad if a good colleague quits their job, even if you fear losing a friend. Probably the discovery that you have not passed the admission tests to the faculty you wanted to attend could represent a loss that leaves you with a deep sense of sadness, because you have the impression that you no longer have the possibility of building a future or obtaining the desired results
Step 2. Identify the deepest emotions
Sadness could be the root cause of everything you are feeling. The deepest emotions are those that nourish a certain state of mind. A common example is people who get angry but hide immense pain behind their outbursts of anger. Other feelings may also arise, such as guilt, shame, jealousy, etc., depending on the type of loss from which one's sadness originates.
For example, you could blame someone else for what you missed or feel ashamed when you blame yourself. Guilt and shame are deep emotions that you need to process when you are feeling sad
Step 3. Distinguish between sadness and depression
Sadness is not the same as depression, although it can be counted among the symptoms of this mood disorder. Since the two terms are misused most of the time, it is important to understand the fundamental differences. Below, you will find the definitions and symptoms:
- Depression. It is a debilitating and abnormal reaction to a stressor, such as sadness. Symptoms are more severe than sadness and include: a complete loss of interest in activities once considered fun, irritability, agitation, decreased sex drive, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, and constant tiredness. It can last for months. Therapy needs to be done, as it often gets worse if left untreated.
- Sadness. It can last a few moments, hours or days. This is a normal reaction to a negative event, such as a romantic breakup, the loss of your job, or the death of a loved one. It is normal to feel sad. In these cases, it is necessary to feel and recognize this state of mind, without closing.
Step 4. Understand the function of pain
Pain, or grief in this case, is a strong feeling linked to a loss. It persists longer than sadness and affects the emotional sphere and thoughts in everyday life. It is the way in which one copes with a loss and adapts to life in the absence of that which has failed. It is different for everyone and often manifests itself before sadness. Following a loss, it is possible to go through a series of stages: rejection, isolation, anger, negotiation, sadness and acceptance. Everyone experiences pain differently, so learn to recognize what you are feeling and accept it.
Mourning is not just about death. People may grieve over the loss of a job, material possessions, personal dignity, identity, or a future perspective
Step 5. Distinguish between pain and depression
While they can manifest with similar symptoms (including, moodiness, sadness, and the need to avoid social contact), there are significant differences. Depression affects self-esteem and causes persistent sadness. When you are in pain, you do not feel useless or inadequate and the despondency subsides over time. Pain does not lead to suicide meditation, does not cause sleep disturbances, does not increase agitation and does not lead to a decrease in energy as it does when one is depressed. Those who are grieving also manage to feel joy in some moments (perhaps they have a good memory of the missing person) while they are still in pain, while those who are depressed have difficulty feeling happy.
According to some research, those who are clinically depressed before experiencing pain are more prone to experiencing depressive symptoms or more severe symptoms, even after a year of the loss they suffered. This does not mean that he is necessarily experiencing a depressive episode, but that his mood can be aggravated by pain
Step 6. Realize that sadness also has benefits
Even if it signals the loss of something, sadness also helps us to appreciate beautiful things. Furthermore, it is a mechanism that allows us to cope with situations and receive support from family and friends. Remember that when someone is sad, family or friends often react by offering support and encouragement. It also allows you to re-evaluate the goals or values on which you shape your life in order to better appreciate the surrounding world.
For example, when you lose a loved one, surely you are sad, but you can also remember the good times we spent together
Part 2 of 2: Overcoming the Sadness
Step 1. Recognize your sadness
Give yourself a chance to be sad. Don't convince yourself that you just have to "get over it." You risk rejecting what you are feeling by depriving yourself of other experiences, emotions and opportunities. For example, if you are concerned about being sad, you may want to avoid auditioning for a play or going to a job interview because you are afraid of not getting what you want. Remember that sadness has a purpose: it reminds you that you have lost something or that you need to make some changes.
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If you are having a hard time letting go of sadness, try this exercise. Write down or say aloud:
- "I'm sad when ………………………. It's normal".
- "I allow myself the opportunity to be sad when …….".
Deal With Sadness Step 8 Step 2. Respect your feelings
Do not belittle and do not play down what you are feeling. Don't let anyone behave like this towards you either. Remember that you have the right to feel sad. Keep this in mind if someone, in an attempt to console you, doesn't really help you, but actually minimizes the seriousness of the situation. Don't let others tell you how you should feel.
For example, if someone tries to emphasize the positive side of the situation by saying, "Now that you have lost your job, you will have all the time in this world," correct them in a gentle and gentle way: "I know you are trying to comfort me, but this job it was important to me. I need to reflect on what I have lost before I find a way to fill my free time."
Deal With Sadness Step 9 Step 3. Hang out with friends or people who can understand your mood
Call a friend or person you can tell about your unpleasant experience. Whether he listens to you, talks to you or distracts you, he will be able to help you. Those who love you will do anything to lift your mood. You're not wrong if you tell a friend, co-worker, or family member that you are low on morale and need time to process your sadness.
While others will have a hard time understanding your state of mind, those who care about you will surely want to help you get through this
Deal With Sadness Step 10 Step 4. Express your sadness
Unleash your emotions. Have you ever felt better after a good cry? The reason is that tears are a physical outlet that allows you to overcome emotions. According to some studies, they release stress hormones. In addition to crying, you can use other solutions to relieve sadness, such as:
- Listen to sad songs. Some research shows that this kind of music is useful in moments of greatest sadness. In fact, it allows you to get in touch with your emotions, offering you an outlet that helps you process how much you are feeling. If you are not ready to deal with all of this, music can provide you with a distraction until you feel you can handle your sadness.
- Tell a story. If you are saddened by bereavement or loss, try writing a story or creating a piece of art by reflecting in detail on the person you passed away. It will be of great help to focus on the sensory aspects, therefore on what you see, smell, touch and taste. Then pay attention to how you feel when describing what you have lost.
Deal With Sadness Step 11 Step 5. Keep a journal
Write from 3 words that communicate or describe what you are feeling. End with 3 more words that illustrate your mood. The diary is more than a simple paper support on which to report feelings, thoughts and opinions in a deconstructed way. Try to update it daily by setting a timer and writing for 5, 10, or 15 minutes a day (don't go beyond a quarter of an hour).
- Maybe there's a reason you've tried to express your emotions but are still sad. You are probably experiencing an inner situation or conflict that you need to work through. The diary is an excellent tool for tracking and metabolizing these kinds of problems.
- Get a journal or something similar that fits your needs. You could choose a notebook, electronic medium, or diary to keep track of your progress throughout the year.
Deal With Sadness Step 12 Step 6. Process your sadness by trying to organize yourself
Everyone metabolizes and understands their emotions differently. If you feel engulfed by everything you are feeling emotionally, try to organize yourself. List feelings, memories, creative ideas, dreams, and anything else useful to rework your sadness. At the end of the day, check the items in the list. It only takes you a few minutes to describe your experience focusing on how much hope, pleasure, success and satisfaction your decisions could bring.
You can also process and manage your emotions by making a to-do list, jotting down appointments, and making plans for the next day
Deal With Sadness Step 13 Step 7. Surround yourself with positivity
When you feel sad or burdened with negative feelings, you may forget that you can also experience beautiful emotions, such as contentment, serenity, enthusiasm, joy, vitality, and so on. Take a minute to jot down and remember a happy or peaceful moment. Sometimes it is enough to recall a different feeling to return to feeling more positive.
