Learning to love life is one of the most important changes you can make to lead a healthier and happier existence. This does not mean that you will not have difficult or sad times, but if you face them without forgetting your love for life, it will be easier to overcome them. Read on to find out how to learn to appreciate your existence.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Loving Life in the Present
Step 1. Don't think about the result
One of the biggest changes you can make is to stop trying to control the outcome of any situation. Remember one thing: you can only have absolute control over your reaction in different circumstances. In fact, you can rarely (or never) exercise control over the situation itself. The need to do so is rooted in fear; when you act out of fear, you will not be able to love life at all.
- If you give up the need to control the outcome of a certain situation, ask yourself what you would be afraid of. For example, if your girlfriend forgets to buy wine for an important event and you think it will ruin the evening, question that fear. Would the outcome really be that bad? Maybe your attitude will actually ruin the evening, not the lack of wine.
- Another example. If you have recently started a new relationship (or would like to cultivate one), you can certainly plan ahead to define the direction you would like to give it, provided that you are open if it does not go as planned.
- Yet another example. If you have a health (or other) problem, don't be in constant anger at the situation. Instead, remember that you can't control it (even if you can do something to make it better or worse), you only have the power to control your attitude about it.
Step 2. Be flexible
This does not mean jumping through hoops as if nothing had happened, it instead means that you have to be open to different possibilities. This step is linked to the previous one, that is to learn to abandon the need to control everything. In fact, if you do not face life with a certain flexibility and you do not adapt to the turn that circumstances take, sooner or later you will end up facing a difficulty that will break you.
- Question your thoughts and words. Analyze what you think and say - especially if it has to do with why you can't do something. You will begin to understand in which areas you are closed-minded and demonstrate more rigid behaviors, then you will be able to work to smooth these edges.
- Change your routine. You don't have to make big changes, but doing something different every day helps keep you in balance. A simple action is enough, such as walking an unusual road to go to work or occasionally having a coffee in a new bar.
Step 3. Face your problems
Everyone has them, big or small. Ignoring or avoiding them will only magnify them, and the time will come when they will take over your life. You don't have to cope with all the difficulties at once. However, addressing them as soon as they appear, instead of waiting, will help you love life in the long run, because they won't stack up.
- Instead of focusing on the difficulties, work to find a solution. For example, if you have misunderstandings with a roommate, focus on what you both need to do for the coexistence to work, don't obsess over the problem, and don't let it get worse.
- Ask yourself if what you call a problem really is. Sometimes you can magnify a little difficulty in your mind without even understanding why. For example, if making phone calls makes you anxious, ask yourself why it happens to you. Forcing yourself to identify the reason for a problem that seems senseless can actually help you get rid of the anxiety that revolves around this difficulty: you will understand that it only exists in your head.
Step 4. Take a break
Sometimes what you need most to regain lost energy and love life is to unplug from everything. This means giving yourself time to pamper yourself, or simply offering yourself a well deserved rest.
- Take a warm bath and listen to an audiobook or some music so your mind won't dwell on all those situations that might worry you.
- Once in a while, give yourself the chance to daydream and that's it. Maybe take the bus every day to go to school or work: take advantage of this moment to estrange yourself and give free rein to your imagination. This is important for your overall health and productivity.
- Do something fun. It can be any activity, big or small (from reading a book you love to going on vacation), as long as it allows you to take a break from it all.
Part 2 of 3: Using Long-Term Physical Solutions
Step 1. Laugh
Laughter is often said to be the best medicine. It may seem strange to you, but it can actually be good for your health and mood. Laughter increases blood pressure, increases the effectiveness of the immune system, promotes relaxation and sleep. It can even help lower blood glucose levels.
- If you're feeling stressed, watch your favorite comedy or YouTube video. A laugh will help you lower your stress levels.
- Get together with your friends and think back to your fondest memories, but also to ridiculous moments. Sharing a laugh with other people will make you feel supported and help you cultivate a more positive attitude.
Step 2. Take care of your health
The physical state has a huge impact on the psyche and attitudes towards various experiences. When you have a fever or a bad cold, it can be really hard to love life. Doing everything you can to take care of your health will help you have a more optimistic attitude towards life.
- Physical activity releases chemicals that improve mood, help fight depression and normalize sleep. Just a little exercise a day is enough to reap the benefits. So, go for a walk, run, try yoga or just turn on the stereo and dance.
- Drink lots of water - it is necessary for your physical state. Dehydration can prevent you from living well and make you feel less vital. Try to drink at least 2 liters of water a day (try to avoid drinks full of sugar or caffeine, as they can dehydrate you).
- Eat a balanced diet. Avoid sugars and processed foods as much as possible (but you can indulge in a tasty snack every now and then). In general, prefer a diet based on fruits, vegetables, proteins and good carbohydrates (such as brown rice, quinoa, whole grains, oats).
- Get enough sleep. Resting well strengthens the immune system, helps to cope with depression and illness. To stay fit, you should theoretically sleep 8-9 hours a night. If that's not possible, try taking a nap later in the day.
Step 3. Get out of your comfort zone
To love life, you need to be willing to have new experiences, embrace challenges, and try activities that cause you anxiety. To be happy and fully live your existence, it is essential not to let yourself be blocked by fear, which will suffocate you and lead you straight to unhappiness.
- Start small, especially if trying new experiences causes you a lot of anxiety. Learn to knit or cook in the privacy of your own home. You can acquire a lot of knowledge thanks to the tutorials on YouTube dedicated to topics of your interest. You will assimilate useful skills.
- The more you try new experiences and get out of your comfort zone, the easier it will be to continue on this path. It takes practice to deal with the fear of doing something new.
- If you're ultimately unable to do something (like skydiving or visiting a faraway place on your own), don't punish yourself. There will always be activities that you will not be able or will not be able to do; there is nothing wrong with that. Instead, try something else.
Step 4. Sing
Singing, especially in groups, releases hormones (endorphins and oxytocin) that cause good mood and happiness, not to mention that it helps reduce stress. Sharing this experience with other people makes you feel united with them and part of a community. It is an additional support network that allows you to feel safe, but also to relieve depression and loneliness.
- Inquire around to find out if there is a singing group you can join. If not, you could start one yourself. You can also do it with friends, so you can sing all the songs you want!
- Singing alone is also good, since it helps normalize your breathing (just like yoga) and is a good method of relaxation.
- Maybe you think you're out of tune like a bell. You don't have to be a future singing promise to reap the benefits. If you don't want to do it in front of an audience because you don't think you're good enough, then close your bedroom door and sing softly.
Step 5. Help others
This means putting time, energy and / or money at the service of others. When you engage in philanthropy, you gain a new perspective and review your priorities. Volunteering also helps reduce stress and anxiety, not to mention that it gives you the opportunity to relate to others.
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter in your city. Make this commitment at least once a month (or even weekly). There are different types of shelters (for women victims of domestic violence, for families or animals).
- Even doing simple things like helping a relative or friend can be a philanthropic gesture. You could take someone to the doctor or help them move to a new apartment. You could cook for your family (if you usually don't) or offer to wash your parents' car.
Part 3 of 3: Using Long-Term Mental Solutions
Step 1. Practice mental awareness
Being mentally aware means living in the present, instead of running wildly into the future or getting bogged down in the past, two actions that keep you from focusing on your life and being happy.
- Do your actions consciously. They could be as simple as having dinner or sitting down to do homework. Analyze what you feel, such as the taste and texture of the food. Is it crunchy? Hot? Savory? Don't make a value judgment about it, such as "It's too hot" or "It tastes bad" - this would make you focus only on the negativity, preventing you from being neutral.
- Set aside 20 minutes each day to consciously practice your breathing. Inhale for a certain amount of time (for example 4 seconds), then exhale adding 2 seconds to the previous ones (in this case 6). Watch your belly fill with air and deflate during this deep breathing session. If the mind starts wandering elsewhere, simply bring it back to count.
- Take a five minute break. If you have a short break between lectures or work projects, take a few minutes to look out the window instead of rushing to check your cell phone or email. Observe what happens outside, the atmospheric conditions, the color of the sky. Again, don't assign value judgments to what you watch.
Step 2. Learn to be grateful
Gratitude and its demonstration allow you to celebrate what happens to you in life, take nothing for granted, and value your experiences. Putting your recognition in place can help you appreciate yourself and your life more, thus feeling happier.
- Keep a gratitude journal, where you can write down experiences you are grateful for (such as having a roof over your head, food on the table, and enjoying good health), write down the names of the people you are grateful for, and remember the kind acts that are to you. been addressed.
- Watch the little things. It is these factors that can actually make life a lot easier or harder. Focus on things like the warmth of your jacket on a cold winter day, the taste of a delicious treat, or the nice words someone said to you.
- Talk about what makes you grateful. Share experiences for which you feel grateful to a relative, trusted friend, or therapist. This will help you remember the positive moments of the day, thus avoiding obsessing or focusing on the more complex aspects.
Step 3. Determine personal achievable goals
You can set big long-term goals and strive to achieve them, but make sure you break them down into smaller goals that you can overcome faster. This will gratify you and remind you that you are capable of achieving good results.
- Make it a goal to clean your room or house once a month. Listen to music and sing while doing housework. Once you are done, you will feel incredibly satisfied, and it will be nice to surround yourself with a clean environment.
- If you can't get a result, or don't make it in the allotted time, don't blame yourself. Instead, ask yourself what you have learned from your mistakes and what concrete actions you can take in the future. Viewing this experience as a learning opportunity, not a failure, will allow you to be more productive and happy.
Step 4. Think positive
Negative thoughts are harmful to both the mind and body, and can change your perception of things. Now, getting carried away by pessimism is completely normal every now and then, but basking in it isn't healthy. If you want to love life, you need to focus on positivity, not negativity.
- Don't get obsessed with negative thoughts. When they appear, recognize them and let them go. For example, if all of a sudden you think, "I'm ugly," ask yourself, "I thought I was ugly. Is that a useful thought?" Then, let it go.
- Don't focus too much on the past or the future. Being obsessed with what went wrong previously won't help you fully experience the present. Similarly, worrying about what the future holds or looking forward to it will prevent you from living in the moment. If you realize that your thoughts are flowing uncontrolled towards the past and the future, draw the attention of the brain to something in the present: a tree, your breath, the sound of rain on the window.
- Whatever happens, remember that sooner or later it will pass. You won't be stuck in a road bottleneck forever, and it won't always go right. Reminding yourself that these situations are only momentary will help you let them flow more easily.
Advice
- Take care of yourself. Being selfless and available to everyone around you won't make you happy. Helping others is great, but remember to make time for yourself too.
- If you are doubtful about one thing, think about the worst scenario that could happen. But don't do anything illegal - that could get you in trouble!
- Whatever happens, remember that there will always be someone in worse trouble than yours.
Warnings
- Don't let others put you down. When someone feels the need to tell you something negative, it's their problem, not yours.
- You will face bad days or days when you feel sad, and nothing you do will lift your spirits. Don't worry, it happens to everyone. Take care of yourself and let them pass.
- You are the only one who can take care of yourself.
