Whether you are feeling down about a recent event, or have been facing a long-standing state of depression and apathy, there are several ways to feel better without resorting to any kind of drugs or professional help. Read this article and follow the tips to feel better in the short and long term.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part One: Feel Better Now
Step 1. Identify the causes of your discomfort
For some people, the cause of sadness is concrete and easily identifiable, such as the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job. For others, the cause may be more elusive and all-encompassing, such as having low self-esteem or feeling lonely and isolated. If you can't identify the problem, try asking yourself some reverse questions, for example: What should happen to make me feel better?
- Once you have identified what you want and lack in your life, ask yourself the following questions: Is there a tangible and achievable way to solve the problem? What do I have to do to face it and to get what I want? Do my daily actions help me get closer to my goal or, conversely, distance me from it? This type of question favors the channeling of negative emotions in search of constructive solutions. They also force you to be responsible for your emotions and moods.
- If what you want is intangible or unrealizable, such as the return of a deceased person, be aware of it. Remind yourself that both by spending your days in total sadness and trying to be happy to get over what happened, external circumstances will not change.
Step 2. Think of everything beautiful you have
If you are feeling down, you probably believe that something is missing in your life, material or otherwise. Either way, even if you feel terribly unlucky, there will inevitably be things you can be grateful for. Make a list of these things.
- Think about the people in your life that you can be grateful for, starting with your family, right up to your friends and teachers. Take some time to remember and appreciate all the positive experiences you have had in the past. You are not living in poverty be grateful that you have food to feed on.
- If you've recently experienced a traumatic event like an accident or divorce, take a moment to be thankful that things haven't gotten even worse. While it may not seem possible to you, the facts may have been even more serious. Also, be grateful that what happened is in the past and that you have gotten over it.
Step 3. Call a loved one
Talking to a friend or family member expressing your motions will not only be a form of catharsis that will allow you to express all your feelings, it will also allow you to take on a different perspective. Having an objective point of view can help you realize that your reality is in fact distorted and unrealistic. People tend to dramatize or exaggerate their problems, feeling drawn into a "spiral of sadness".
- By comparing yourself, you may find that your loved ones have faced the same problems, making you feel less isolated. In addition, you may be offered possible solutions or insights that you would never have thought of.
- If the problem you are dealing with is overly private, or if you feel you can't trust anyone, write about your feelings in a journal. You will not have to continue to do this over time, but at the moment it will be of great help in organizing your thoughts, perhaps coming to a possible solution.
Step 4. Clean up your environment
A clean and organized place will instantly make you feel more at ease. Fold clothes, vacuum floors and remove all traces of waste. Do this in your home, office, and wherever you spend a lot of time.
Step 5. Dance
Listen to your favorite music (making sure it's cheerful), close your room door, and dance. While dancing may seem like the last thing you want to do at the moment, the combination of listening to your favorite music and movement will make you feel better.
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: Lifestyle Changes
Step 1. Spend more time doing the things you really enjoy
If you spend most of your day doing something you don't love, it's no wonder your malaise. Find time, on weekends or weekdays, to do what you are passionate about.
- These activities should be active (though not necessarily physical), challenging, and engaging. Passive activities, such as watching TV or surfing the web, are not suitable. The key is to do something that occupies 100% of your attention by forcing yourself to be in the present moment rather than letting your mind wander in negative thoughts.
- If you don't have a pleasant hobby or interest, look for one. This can be an outdoor activity, such as golf, tennis, swimming or climbing, an artistic activity, such as music, painting or photography, or a philanthropic activity, such as volunteering.
Step 2. Set goals
Moving towards tangible things will instantly make you feel more enthusiastic, giving your life purpose. Choose a personal goal, whether it has to do with your career, education, or private relationship, or prefer an external goal, such as having a positive impact on your community.
- D acts of short and long term goals. For example, make a list of things that need to be done by today, such as completing homework, grocery shopping, or walking the dog, and cross them out after they are done. Doing so will give you a sense of satisfaction and motivation to go out.
- If you have a hard time setting yourself long-term goals because you don't know what you want from your future, ask yourself what kind of legacy you want to leave in the world. How do you want to be remembered by people? What kind of impact do you want to have on the world?
- Whatever your long-term goals are, make sure it's something you really want, no matter what your family and the people around you want.
- While your wishes need to be realistic, they don't have to be easy to fulfill. Otherwise you would not be enticed to step out of your comfort zone and you would not feel satisfied or excited. Don't underestimate your skills by setting yourself poor goals.
Step 3. Eliminate the evil
If there are specific people or things in your life that are making you uneasy, it will be important to remove them as soon as possible. If your job makes you really unhappy, then quit it. If you are in a painful or abusive relationship, end it immediately.
There may be aspects of your life that bother you or irritate you, but you don't necessarily need to put an end to them. The key is to determine what the benefits of having a person or thing are in your life, and then compare them to the negative aspects. For example, school or work can make you exhausted, but the benefit of education and the need to support yourself financially can add value to our efforts. Likewise, the unconditional support and love you receive from your family restores balance after a few occasional bickering
Step 4. Learn to control negative thoughts
No matter how wonderful your life becomes, it will always seem horrible to you if you have horrible thoughts. Our thoughts have the power to transform our outer world, both for good and for bad. The happiest people aren't necessarily the ones with the best circumstances; they are the ones with the best attitudes.
Learning to pay more attention to your thoughts is the first step towards becoming more positive. Notice when you have overly pessimistic or negative thoughts, and say to yourself "I just got very negative." Over time, you will learn to be your own happiness coach by reminding yourself not to have a negative approach and point of view
Step 5. Be active
Having a sedentary life is not only harmful to your physical health, exposing you to the risk of obesity and cancer, it also has negative effects on your life and your emotional health, causing you a sense of lethargy, boredom and apathy. You should get at least 30 minutes of daily physical activity. This does not mean that you must necessarily go to the gym or sign up for a sports course, even the simple activity of walking is sufficient to achieve the desired goal.
- It is especially important to make conscious efforts to get up and move if you are used to sitting for many hours for work or study.
- Buy a pedometer to keep track of your daily route. If you walk enough, you won't have to do extra training.
- Make small daily changes to increase the amount of movement: park away from your destination, prefer stairs, and run errands around the house.
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Do Checks
Step 1. Remember that feeling down is a normal life process
From time to time, we all feel sad or disappointed. If you don't experience sadness, you won't have a point of reference for understanding what it means to be happy. The important thing is to create a balance between the moments of joy and the moments of not, without losing control.
Step 2. Stop comparing your life to that of other people
The main reason people feel inadequate or dissatisfied is their constant comparing to those who are apparently better off than them. Furthermore, people tend to compare their bad moments with the best moments in other people's lives, forgetting that even the most "fortunate" people, in their private life, are faced with unwanted circumstances.
