Whether you're trying to keep inner peace or don't know how to make it a priority in your life, either way this wikiHow guide is for you. Through a few simple exercises you can put yourself on the right path to reach a deep state of Zen, which will make you feel satisfied, happy and ready to face what comes along the way. Just keep reading the following article!
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Disengaging from Negative Feelings
Step 1. Let go of what you cannot control
This is the most important part to feel at peace and the first point from which you must always start. 90% of the time, when we are worried or stressed about something, the source of our anguish really lies in the things we have no control over. All you can do in life is do your best and then let fate take its course. If it is not possible to influence the result, then there is no reason to worry.
- It's hard to do, of course, and it will take some practice.
- Mostly, you just have to remind yourself to let things go, but you can also do exercises to distract yourself as you calmly wait for the difficulties to pass.
- Remember that other people's behavior is one of the greatest things beyond our control.
Step 2. Remember that all people have a human side
When others make us angry, it usually happens because we cannot understand why they are doing something that irritates us. Instead of going on a rampage with someone or stressing yourself out, try to see things from their point of view. Think about why they did what they did… and remember that we are all people, with our problems and our dreams.
For example, your husband can drive you crazy when he forgets to do the dishes. However, he does not forget him for misbehaving with you… forgetfulness is probably just a part of his way of being, just like snoring is for you
Step 3. Forgive yourself
A big source of worry in our life comes from the fact that we torment ourselves. We can truly become our own worst enemy. Maybe you feel bad about forgetting to write a document or maybe you are worried that you have said the wrong thing to your friend. No matter what you've done, it's important to remember that you can't go back in time. Harassing yourself about something you can't change won't make things better. All you can do is work to improve the future and yourself over time… which is something that each of us must do.
Remember that making mistakes is human
Step 4. Forgive those who have hurt you
Just as you have to forgive yourself, so you have to forgive other people too, and moreover, for the same reasons! Remember: this really means forgiving others. Don't be passive aggressive and don't find ways to punish them later. Just let things go and find a way to better collaborate in the future!
Step 5. Accept the transitory nature of life
Everything is temporary. Only the rising and setting of the sun are eternal. You have to remember this in all the things you do. Accept what you love and enjoy it when you can. Wait for the troubled times to pass. When we die, we don't take any of these trappings of life away with us, so make sure your soul is satisfied and let the rest go, no matter what turns your destiny takes.
Part 2 of 4: Building Positive Feelings
Step 1. Be yourself
When we try to be what we are not, we add tons of stress, guilt and unhappiness to our life. We all have the hope and desire to be different people than we are, but that's not the way we should do it at all! You just have to be yourself and accept who you are.
Don't worry about what others say or how they would like you to be. It's not about their life, it's about yours
Step 2. Pursue what makes you happy
Life is all about getting the things that bring joy. When you live really well, you manage to perfectly balance the hard stuff, the fun stuff, and the things that help others. Of course, some of us tend to focus too much on the difficult ones or forget to take time for ourselves. You have to set goals that make you happy, regardless of what others think, otherwise you will never feel satisfied.
Step 3. Make time for yourself
Sometimes you need to spend some quiet time to focus on your problems and relax. It can be difficult to find the time to do this, in the immense chaos that is life, but it is very important for your happiness and the ability to handle difficulties.
- Try setting aside a weekend to go to the library to read and relax.
- Sit alone during lunch every now and then to get away from a distressing situation.
Step 4. Help others
Helping others is one of the most powerful things we can do to give ourselves a sense of fulfillment and peace. Being helpful gives us purpose and allows us to feel like we have accomplished something great. If you find that nothing else in life gives you a sense of peace, try helping people in dire need.
You can volunteer at a local canteen or volunteer center, teaching literacy courses for adults
Step 5. Set goals
Having a goal to commit to can really help you when you feel lost and aimless. Really, what's the point of life if there isn't something to strive for, right? Find something you want to do for yourself, and then figure out what to do to pursue your intent. You will find zen-like peace when you work whole-souled, dedicating yourself to a single goal.
- Have you always wanted to learn to play the piano?
- Maybe, what you really want is to have a child?
Part 3 of 4: Techniques for Calming Down
Step 1. Listen to relaxing music
Music can help you calm down and find inner peace even in the most stressful of situations. Find a genre of music that works for you and get ready to rock on its notes immediately!
- A nice chillout song is "Chillout" by Ze Frank. What a surprise!
- MyNoise is another great resource for finding soothing music that helps you focus on yourself to find some inner peace.
Step 2. Go for a walk or a run
Walking or running is another great way to calm down. Exercise not only tires us and allows us to release tension, it also promotes the release of endorphins, brain chemicals that regulate our emotions. Take a little run around the block if you feel like you're having a hard time.
Step 3. Play with someone who knows how to have fun
Whether you're playing fetch with your dog or pirate with a five-year-old, having fun with someone who really knows how to embrace the joys of life can make a big difference when you're having a hard time.
Step 4. Avoid the drama
Drama, whether caused by you or by others, can really get in the way of your search for inner peace. We tend to chase the drama because it makes everything more exciting, but to find peace we have to make our life more exciting by chasing challenges instead. This is because the negative feelings associated with dramatic situations cannot lead to inner peace, which is based on positive feelings.
If someone in your life is only prone to generating dramatic situations, try to cut them out as much as possible
Step 5. Do relaxing activities
There are many calming activities you can do to calm down and find peace when your nerves are on edge. You can drink tea, watch a funny movie, meditate, light some incense or do an infinite number of soothing rituals. They work based on personal preference, so just find one that's right for you!
Part 4 of 4: Finding Wisdom
Step 1. Study the Stoics
The Stoics were philosophers of antiquity, great experts on inner peace. In fact, the latter constitutes the central point of their philosophy! Read up on Stoic philosophy and the lives of these philosophers to understand how to apply their teachings in your life.
"A Guide to the Good Life" by William B. Irvine is a great current text on Stoic philosophy
Step 2. Read a sacred text
The sacred texts, whether we talk about the Bible or the Koran, can all teach us how to find peace by living a more fulfilling life. Even if you are not a believing person, there is a lot of wisdom to be found in the sacred texts of cultures around the world. You will find that almost everyone teaches the same ideals!
Step 3. Meet a spiritual advisor
Spiritual counselors, such as priests and monks, can also provide advice on how to find inner peace. Even if you don't want a religious solution, they are experts on the human soul and mind, so they should be able to help you find some enlightening and effective way to enhance your life experience.
Step 4. Take a cue from nature
Go to a nearby nature area. Listen to the trees. Look at the animals. Do they seem worried about what their brother did last Christmas? Do the trees seem to notice when it starts to rain? No. Nature adapts and welcomes every fold of life, you should too.
Step 5. Read some books
There are a number of books and works by people who have truly learned to control this inner peace. Look for books on problems that are a source of tension for you or choose a few classics. Here are some authors known for making significant contributions to philosophical thinking on this issue:
- Joseph Campbell
- Alan Watts
