Does the idea that something bad could happen to you constantly haunt you? Do you often look over your shoulder or think that those present are speaking ill of you? If these scenarios describe you perfectly, perhaps you are a paranoid person. Being paranoid can result from having low self-esteem or numerous negative beliefs and thoughts. Paranoia can also signal a larger problem, such as paranoid schizophrenia, and therefore require immediate medical attention.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Taking Control of Your Thoughts
Step 1. Stop being pessimistic
One of the reasons for being paranoid is that, rather than being realistic in considering the possible outcomes of a situation, you always tend to assume the worst will happen. Maybe you think that others are always talking bad about you, that nobody likes your new haircut, or that your new boss has you in their sights. Regardless of what you believe, there is a good chance that none of these claims are true. The next time you have a pessimistic thought, stop and apply the following guidelines:
- Ask yourself how likely your pessimistic thinking is to come true.
- When you think the worst is about to happen, make it your goal to evaluate all the possible outcomes of the situation, not just the most tragic ones. You will find that the potential scenarios are nearly endless.
- Try to combat any pessimistic thoughts with two realistic thoughts. For example, if you fear that everyone is making fun of you because of the shoes you are wearing, consider that 1) a pair of shoes is unlikely to make people laugh all day, 2) a new hilarious smash video is more likely to happen. is spreading via office messaging.
Step 2. Stop obsessing over the little things
Being paranoid doesn't just mean assuming you have the whole world against it: it also means assuming it consistently. The more time you spend thinking about a possible negative happening, the more you are convinced that it will be exactly what will happen. Although it is impossible to completely abandon your obsessions, there are techniques to minimize obsessive thoughts:
- Designate a time of day dedicated to worries. Spend it sitting with your paranoid thoughts; first evaluate them and then try to minimize them. If you are overwhelmed by a concern during the day, take note of it, try to push it away, and then bring it to mind at the designated time.
- Record your paranoid thoughts in a journal. Read it once a week. Transferring your thoughts to paper will help you vent them in a healthier way and will allow you to highlight at least their partial groundlessness by rereading them in the future. For example, you might notice your fears that "X" would happen on a certain date. Past the expected day without "X" happening, you will have a chance to realize that many of your paranoid thoughts are unwarranted.
Step 3. Trust in a trusted friend
Being able to describe your paranoid thoughts to someone will help you vent and analyze them from a different perspective. Even the simple act of expressing some of your fears out loud will help you recognize them as illogical.
- For example, sharing your fear of being considered the laughing stock of the company with a friend will allow them to give you numerous examples that substantially and rationally prove otherwise.
- In this regard, it is important to choose a friend with a strong balance and rationality. Stay away from people who might encourage your paranoid behaviors and make you feel even worse.
Step 4. Keep busy
Another way to avoid being paranoid is to not give yourself time to mull over your victim thoughts. While keeping busy doesn't allow you to truly escape your problems, it can help you focus your energies in a more positive and constructive way, for example by pursuing your interests and goals.
Spending a few hours a week doing what you really love, for example practicing numismatics, will allow you not to be constantly absorbed in your paranoid thoughts
Step 5. Put yourself in someone else's shoes
This exercise is very useful. Putting yourself in the shoes of the people who worry you most will help you realize that most of your fears are unfounded. Here's a simple example: Let's assume you're on your way to a party with a recurring thought in your head: "Surely everyone will notice that I'm wearing the same clothes I wore at the party three weeks ago." Ask yourself if you yourself remember exactly what each attendee wore at that party; the chances of you being able to remember exactly what each one of them is wearing is very slim.
Ask yourself what the odds are that all the people who make you anxious are focused on you as intensely as you are focused on them. Do you happen to spend hours thinking about how much you dislike some people? Probably not
Step 6. Recognize if your paranoia is of anxious origin
Those with anxiety can be plagued by constant worry that something terrible is about to happen. While two different conditions remain, anxiety can also be the trigger for paranoid thoughts. Anxiety can raise concerns about contracting a life-threatening disease; conversely, paranoia can lead you to believe that your doctor intentionally made you sick.
If anxiety is the main cause of your problems, it is advisable to see a doctor or practice techniques to help you manage it
Step 7. If necessary, hire a professional
There is a noticeable difference between worrying only occasionally about your friends talking badly about you and letting yourself be completely consumed by this negative thought. Also, being able to recognize that your thoughts are somehow irrational differs widely from feeling deeply hurt by the relentless idea that anyone wants to hurt you. If you feel that your paranoid thoughts are hindering the normal flow of your life and preventing you from socializing and living your relationships with others in a normal way, consult a psychotherapist or other mental health professional for help.
Part 2 of 3: Stop Being Paranoid in Interactions with Others
Step 1. Stop worrying about what other people think
If you want to be able to socialize without constantly worrying about what others think of you, you need to learn to give less and less importance to other people's judgment. Certainly this is not an easy goal, but by committing yourself to believe in yourself and to feel comfortable in the company of other people, you will have the opportunity to realize that many of your gestures, words and outfits are not at all relevant in the eyes of others..
- Try to feel less uncomfortable. People feel embarrassed because they care about the subjective experiences of others, even though they cannot in any way take control of them. You must be able to accept that whatever opinions others have of you, it is in their power to formulate them. Sometimes the comments of others follow exactly what we ourselves think of us, but even on those occasions there are no factors capable of transforming an opinion into a fact. Try to ignore criticism and avoid questioning yourself whenever someone expresses a subjective opinion about you.
- Learn to accept yourself unconditionally. It doesn't matter if you just slipped on a banana peel or if your hair has decided to turn against you: you are a human being and all humans are imperfect creatures. Embrace your quirks and stop thinking that everyone is perfect except you. Aren't you convinced? Visit the YouTube site and watch some videos related to clumsy people to finally realize that all human beings make mistakes, and sometimes very funny ones.
Step 2. Get into the fray
Many paranoid people are so worried that no one likes them and no one appreciates their company that they tend to spend most of their time indoors or alone. Avoiding exposing yourself to others will only convince you to expect the worst, because it will prevent you from experiencing the many positive aspects associated with social interactions. Make it a goal to leave the house frequently and meet other people, no less than once or twice a week.
The more time you spend socializing, the more comfortable you will feel in the company of other people and the less you will be led to believe that the whole world has you in their sights
Step 3. Notice the goodness around you
Any interaction with others, for example a date with a group of friends, a chat with the neighbor or a short conversation with the cashier of the supermarket nearby, should enrich you with some positive impression on the inhabitants of the planet. At the end of the day or week, write down all the positive things that happened while interacting with others. Dwell on the positive feelings you have experienced and the reasons why you can say that those interactions have favorably influenced your life.
When a paranoid thought assails you, reread your words. Remind yourself of the many concrete reasons why you should place more trust in the intentions of others
Step 4. Learn to accept criticism
You may be convinced that a person hates you when in reality they are simply trying to offer constructive criticism and make you understand how you can improve. If a teacher gives you a bad grade, rather than jumping to conclusions and convincing yourself that he doesn't like you, read his entire judgment and try to figure out if his point of view is valid.
If you have felt hurt by the criticism received, remember that you are the only person who can decide how to perceive someone else's comment. You can choose to cry or mull over for weeks, or you can view criticism as an opportunity to grow and improve. Write down the comments received and analyze their validity. If there is even the slightest likelihood that the observation made is true, consider making a commitment to change or make a conscious decision that you want to stay as you are
Step 5. Accept that there are mean people in the world
Unfortunately, not everyone you meet or interact with will like you or be kind. But that doesn't mean you should avoid putting yourself out there! Being aware of the existence of mean, superficial, or angry individuals will help you to further appreciate the many fabulous people around you in everyday life. When you meet someone who treats you rudely for no reason, you need to be able to accept that their behavior is the result of their personal insecurities and problems and not a reaction to your actions.
To be universal, the world must be made up of all kinds of people. Only some can become your best friends, but not everyone else will want to be your bitter enemies
Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Paranoia in Common Contexts
Step 1. If you are concerned that your partner is cheating on you, deal with him directly
If you are concerned that you think your partner is cheating on you, especially if this fear of yours has accompanied any of your previous relationships, there is a likelihood that your fears are of paranoid origin. Ask yourself if you have concrete evidence to support your doubts and notice any unfounded thoughts that are confirmed only in your head.
- Talk about it openly with your partner. Let him know that you are aware of the irrationality of your feelings and that you intend to do what you can to overcome them, but that you need his help for that.
- Don't accuse your partner of cheating and don't check their every move as soon as they walk away. The only result you would get would be to make him feel a substantial lack of trust in him.
- Maintain your individuality. By developing a real obsession or addiction towards your partner you will become even more paranoid, because you will be completely tied to his loyalty. Maintain other stable relationships outside of your romantic relationship.
Step 2. Find out if your friends are really talking bad about you
Notice what conversation topics are when another member of the group is not present. Do you spend most of your time gossiping behind his back and expressing your hatred of him? Unless you've selected a group of genuinely gossipy and mean people, the answer will most likely be no. So ask yourself how likely it is that, as soon as you walk away, they start talking badly about you.
Do your friends invite you to go out with them? Do they send you text messages, e-mails and messages via chat? Do they compliment you? Do they ask you for advice? If so, why should you assume they hate you?
Step 3. Stop being paranoid about work
One of the most common paranoia in the workplace is that of always being on the verge of being fired or in the crosshairs of the boss. If you share these same fears, ask yourself what evidence really shows that you may be losing your job. Are you arriving on time? Do you give your best during working hours? Do you show that you are able to improve? If so, why on earth would they decide to fire you? In the absence of real warning signs and unmotivated layoffs from your coworkers, your worries are very likely to find space only in your head.
- List all the contributions you make on a daily basis at work to help you feel better.
- Make a list of all the compliments and positive comments your boss received. Now write down any negative reviews. You will find that the praise far outweighs the criticism and, if not, you will have the opportunity to create an action plan that allows you to channel your efforts in a positive direction.
Step 4. Recognize that not everyone is always intent on looking at you
Sometimes paranoid behavior is dictated by the ego. You may be convinced that as soon as you enter an environment, anyone who is compelled to stare at you, judge you or taunt you. Ask yourself how often you tend to scrutinize people who accidentally enter your same environment; Most likely, you too, like most individuals, tend to be too concerned with your own appearance and the judgment of others to pay close attention to others.
Advice
- Be patient and don't give up. Constantly fearing that others are trying to hurt you can be exhausting, and acting on your fears can lead to extremely painful situations. Learn to accept and forgive yourself and never stop trying to be happier.
- Believe in yourself, you have the potential to do whatever you want. Don't allow irrelevant obstacles to keep you from achieving your goals.
- In general, people tend to be more sensitive and irritable when they don't get enough sleep, and this trait is particularly evident in individuals who tend to be paranoid. Getting a full night's sleep will allow you to immediately feel better. Also note that it is normal to feel fearful or worried from time to time.
