Occasional jealousy is a natural feeling that can even motivate you. However, if you get nervous when you see pictures of clothes, professions or cars on Instagram that you envy, maybe you should face this problem. You may also become paranoid and have problems with the one you love. It is not easy to relieve feelings of jealousy, but you have to move on and gain self-confidence. Deal with it by learning to manage it, finding something different to focus on, and improving yourself. You can do it!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Dealing with Jealousy in the Immediate
Step 1. Breathe deeply as soon as you start to get jealous
Maybe you saw your boyfriend talking to another girl or you found out that your friend bought the car you want so much. Instead of freaking out, try to calm down. Take a deep breath through your nose for five seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Continue until you feel calmer.
If you want to deal with the problem, do it only when you have regained your composure. For example, if you've seen your boyfriend talking to a girl, relax first, then come over and say hello to both of them. Maybe it's just a friend or classmate
Step 2. Stay away from social networks
Social networks overwhelm us with images of fragments of other people's lives that can ignite the spark of jealousy. However, what you ignore is that the girl who continually posts photos of the flowers her boyfriend gave her may be dissatisfied with her relationship. People tend to post pictures and comments to coat their life with a positive sheen, so stay away from social networks as you learn to manage your jealousy.
If you can't live without them, stop following people you're jealous of or remove them from your friends list
Step 3. Avoid criticizing or being sarcastic
When you get jealous, you risk insulting someone or belittling their achievements. However, by doing this you only demonstrate insecurity and hurt people. Instead of being negative, keep your comments to yourself or don't hesitate to give some compliments.
For example, if your girlfriend comes home and eagerly talks to you about her new partner, don't say, "So, since he's so smart, are you going to go out with him now?" Allow the person you love to express themselves freely without the fear of getting upset
Step 4. Confess what you are feeling to those who love you
If you've been jealous of your brother, your best friend or your partner for years, don't hesitate to tell him. By getting rid of this burden, you will be able to put the negative feelings behind you and clear up the situation.
For example, you could say, "Carla, I know I've been misbehaving with you for some time. But when I learned that, unlike me, you managed to pass the university entrance tests, I was sick.. I'm jealous because I get the impression you're living my dream. I know it's not your fault, but I don't want to feel this way."
Step 5. Focus on the things you have in common with the person you are jealous of
Look at your jealousy in the light of your affinities. The more equal you are, the less you should feel jealous!
For example, maybe you envy your neighbor because he owns a nice car. However, be aware that you live in the same neighborhood and probably have very similar homes. You probably went to the same school and also have mutual friends
Part 2 of 3: Focus Your Attention Elsewhere
Step 1. Praise those who do a good job
Hating people who achieve results won't bring you closer to your goals. When you see someone capable of the things you want to accomplish, congratulate them. This will show respect and humility.
- For example, if a friend has a job that satisfies her, say, "Irma, your work looks so good. You always get rewards and promotions. You're doing really great! Do you have any suggestions for me?".
- If your boyfriend has been showing more affection lately, tell him you appreciate his efforts.
Step 2. Reflect on your strengths
Instead of thinking about what others are doing, focus on yourself! Find a time to list or identify at least three things you are good at. For example, you might be a good organizer, a skilled cook, an attentive listener, or a tireless worker.
Try something related to your strengths to build self-confidence, like making a delicious dish
Step 3. Make a list of all the things you are grateful for
Every day you live is a real blessing. Remember this and think of something to be grateful for on a daily basis. It will help ease your jealousy because you will be able to appreciate what you have more.
Maybe you have a fabulous mother who supports you and loves you or you have entered a really prestigious university and you will soon start your studies. Be thankful for these blessings
Step 4. Meditate every day
Meditation can clear your mind and make you focus on the most important things. There is a risk that jealousy will gradually pollute your way of thinking, but you can find some relief by sitting quietly in a place away from distractions for at least ten minutes every morning. During this time, focus exclusively on your breathing and body sensations.
If you are unfamiliar with meditation, try downloading an application
Step 5. Play the game
Let's say you have a wealthy friend who always invites you to expensive restaurants or luxurious trips. You might envy its economic possibilities. Instead of being dominated by this negative feeling, take the reins of the situation in hand! You choose the restaurants to go to and decide not to make more trips that you cannot afford. Plan a vacation within your pocket.
You might say, "You know Sandro, I like to eat in five-star restaurants, but to be honest, they don't fit into my budget. If you want to continue dining with me once a week, that's great, but you'll have to let me choose the place. that you understand"
Step 6. Have fun every day to distract yourself from jealousy
If you have fun, you will no longer think about your jealousy! Schedule something to do every day, such as watching your favorite TV series, going for ice cream or shopping. Life is short, so enjoy every moment!
Part 3 of 3: Improving Your Life
Step 1. Set short and long term goals
Use your jealousy as a stimulus to improve. Based on the things you want to accomplish, adopt strategies to achieve them. Set goals to achieve in the next five days and goals to focus on in the next five years.
For example, suppose you want to find a high-paying job. As a short-term goal, try to get everyone high marks in the next college exam session. Long-term goals might include finding a mentor or doing an internship in your field of study
Step 2. Plan a fun getaway
Maybe you are jealous because you feel that everyone else is having fun. At this point, do it too! Plan an exciting weekend with your girlfriend, spend a day at the carnival or go to the beach. Do whatever puts you in a good mood!
Step 3. Take care of your health
You will think a lot less about others if you are focused on your health. Build your confidence by exercising at least three times a week. Eat healthily by consuming vegetables, fruits, and lean meat. Make sure you get at least eight hours of sleep every night.
Also, drink lots of water
Step 4. Surround yourself with positive people
Maybe your jealousy is because you have friendships that never miss a chance to nurture it. It is absolutely not acceptable. Instead of absorbing all this negativity, spend more time with kind, honest and simple people!
Positive people are encouraging, honest, warm and helpful, while negative ones offend, criticize and steal all your energy
Step 5. Consider seeing a psychologist
If jealousy prevents you from enjoying life, maybe it's time to ask for help. There are many psychotherapists who can help patients process envy or feelings of inadequacy. Remember there is nothing wrong with getting help! It is much worse to suffer in silence.
