Apathy should not be confused with laziness. Characterized by the lack or repression of impulses, emotions, enthusiasm, interests or motivation, it is often a problem that has multiple causes, difficult to solve. Maybe you have had to deal with a series of defeats and incessant rejections or you have the impression of always having the morale down. By investigating the reasons behind your behaviors, designing and implementing a plan to change, you will be able to grasp the right momentum to live the life you want.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Analyzing Your Behaviors
Step 1. Break this vicious circle
First make the decision to stop the apathy mechanism. If your mental patterns make you feel inactive and helpless all the time, it's time to think differently. It is necessary that your every gesture and thought is concentrated in order to make you regain strength and to prevent the physical and emotional paralysis that could result.
- Engage in activities that light up the mind, reinforce the belief that you have power over your life and the ability to create new opportunities. For example, something as simple as cleaning the living room will show you that you can improve your situation.
- Understanding the signs, symptoms and causes of apathy. In fact, it is a problem that can manifest itself in behavior in various ways, for example losing interest, motivation and enthusiasm in many aspects of life.
Step 2. Identify the root cause of your apathy
What made you less confident and determined? Did you have to deal with tons of rejections? Was it aggravated by the belief that no one listens to you? Have you not reached a certain cultural, work or social level, and do you think you will never be able to? Is there any imbalance within your body? Only you can answer these questions.
- There may be physiological, psychological or sociological causes that individually or all together generate or contribute to the problem.
- Ask a doctor if blood tests should be done to rule out conditions such as thyroid disorders, hormonal imbalances, and other dysfunctions. Apathy is a symptom of various diseases that you can deal with and treat.
- Ask a naturopathic doctor to help you deal with problems that a normal doctor cannot solve. The naturopath has a more holistic approach to health, which can be effective when combined with the treatments prescribed by a traditional doctor. For example, a naturopath has a particular preparation for dealing with chemical and food intolerances, as well as allergies that risk affecting mood and general well-being.
Step 3. Listen to relatives and friends
If family and friends try to "stimulate" you with their talk, they have noticed that something is wrong. From the outside, your apathy could be seen as laziness. You know it's wrong, but you're not really sure what you're feeling. When you get stuck in the spiral of apathy, you may be tempted to get defensive, pushing back those who try to help you.
- Learn to listen why people care about you.
- Whether or not you choose to follow their advice, at least make an effort to listen to them.
- It is difficult to feel unfairly accused of laziness, especially when you do not have the ability to emerge from the abyss in which you are. You might say, "I know mine feels indolent, but in all honesty, I don't feel well. I want to find out what I have to feel better."
Step 4. Examine your isolation
Do you spend most of your time alone with little or no external stimuli? If you spend the whole day alone with your thoughts, you limit your perception of life and the world. If you think negatively, you run the risk of locking yourself up all day in an equally negative space.
- Spend more time with friends and family. Don't isolate yourself from others.
- Find a balance between the moments you spend alone and those in company.
- Give yourself a chance to feel uncomfortable in social settings. It's normal. With practice, everything new becomes easier to accept.
- While socializing is important, try not to spend too much time with people you don't like. If the feeling of depression and apathy tends to arise when you are in the company of certain people, go out with those you like to hang out with.
Step 5. See if you unfairly compare yourself to others
Apathy is often linked to a sense of personal debasement and can be aggravated by constant confrontations with others. Focus on your personal growth instead of being disheartened because you think someone is more successful, better looking, and more capable than you.
- Don't stop trying, cultivating and getting involved with the world and your interests.
- In your own way, you are a valued, beautiful, and talented person.
Step 6. Analyze what made you happy
Remember what you enjoyed doing. Make a list of the good things from the past. When you feel apathetic, you begin to lose touch with what once brought joy to your life. You will probably find it difficult to remember what excited you. So, sit down and write a list. Put it where you can see it.
- Do you enjoy playing the guitar? Take it out of the dust-filled case and remember how it made you feel.
- Were you an avid bestseller reader? Pull a book out of the pile of the ones you liked to read and flip through it.
- Do you like to laugh with friends? If you haven't heard from your best friends in days, weeks, or months, it's time to get back to them.
Part 2 of 4: Creating a Motivation in Your Life
Step 1. Change your way of thinking
Thoughts can change feelings. To feel better, improve your thinking. If you notice that there is some negativity in your thoughts, it means that there is a lot of room for improvement. Focus on producing positive thoughts to replace negative ones.
- If you find yourself making unfortunate considerations about yourself, stop and replace them with something positive, like, "I'm filling my mind with positive ideas that will change my beliefs. I'm changing my life."
- For example, if you think, "It makes no sense to try, because I know I will fail", change that belief to something like, "Failure is an opportunity to learn. If I fail this time, I can always try again."
Step 2. Avoid engaging in adverse behavior towards yourself and producing thoughts of inadequacy by acting right
Try to be the first to congratulate yourself when you accomplish something successfully. Try to see your qualities the way others see them.
- Ask yourself about the way you perceive yourself. He is likely to judge you severely, for no valid reason.
- Even if you feel that taking out the trash isn't a great chore, give yourself a reward when you do something. No matter how big or small it is, what matters is self-respect in recognizing what you can do, instead of focusing on what you believe you cannot accomplish.
Step 3. Take action by taking small steps
Start gradually. If you're struggling with severe apathy, you don't want to throw yourself headlong into taking on new responsibilities or realizing your ambitions. Make small changes at first and work gradually until you take on more important obligations. Each step forward takes you away from apathy.
For example, if it seems to you that all you can do during the day is wake up and spend it lying on the couch, it probably isn't as helpful to pass it this way if you've decided to participate in a marathon
Step 4. Change your appearance
Cut your hair or make a drastic change in your image. Cutting your hair can be a pretty strong statement or a form of silent rebellion against apathy. Sometimes, it's extremely effective to make a small but significant change to rock your routine.
Step 5. Change the time you go to bed and wake up
If you sleep a lot lately, go to bed within a reasonable time and wake up after 7-8 hours. Several studies indicate that good sleep is important for the normal functioning of the brain. By regulating sleep phases, you will have more energy and motivation to live your life with enthusiasm.
Staying in bed for too long can make you feel drowsy and depressed, so give yourself a shake and get out of bed an hour or two earlier than usual
Step 6. Train your body and mind
It is possible to reverse periods of extreme apathy in small steps. Maybe it is enough to take a breath of fresh air and put your body in motion to get out of the torpor. If the idea of moving makes you want to lie down on the sofa, consider it a necessary thing.
- There is no need to immediately run for 5km or do 40 laps in the pool every morning. Start off sweet, doing what you can. You can start with some stretching and bodyweight exercises every morning or take a walk around the neighborhood where you live.
- Physical activity releases beta-endorphins into the blood, which promote an effect of euphoria and well-being. They increase stamina, energize and help you sleep better. You will have to gain on all fronts.
Step 7. Monitor your nutrition
Consuming junk food can lead you into a spiral of apathy. The more apathetic you feel, the more likely you will be to consume unhealthy foods, in quantities that promote obesity.
- Don't rely on frozen foods, fast foods and other junk foods instead of eating healthy and nutritious meals.
- Avoid consuming foods rich in refined sugars and preservatives, as it can negatively affect the brain's neurotrophic factor (BNDF), increasing the risk of causing you to fall into depression.
- Try to cook simple dishes with fresh vegetables and fiber and only a few pre-cooked or packaged foods. If you prefer microwave cooking, try alternating it with grilling, baking or stewing. In this way you will give the dishes flavors, textures and aromas that will make your life more varied.
Step 8. Make bigger changes in the way you think and act
Sometimes, to get out of the numbness of apathy, it may be appropriate to make changes in a big way. Decide whether or not to introduce, change or transform something important in your life, so that you find the right motivation.
Step 9. Change job
If you feel underappreciated and undervalued at work or if you have a boring profession, you need to look for another one. The work must give an income to those who do it, but also a meaning, a purpose. While some people manage to work only in view of the "salary", because perhaps they have a very full life beyond their occupation, others find it difficult. Find an emotionally more rewarding job.
Step 10. Change residence
Moving elsewhere can offer the right change of scenery. If you feel stuck in a place where you don't know anyone, don't feel comfortable or don't like living, it can be helpful to move somewhere else. While it is not possible to solve problems by moving elsewhere, however this can be the spark that some people need.
Some studies have found significantly fewer anxious and depressive behaviors among people moving into more positive settings
Step 11. End Toxic Relationships
By ending a toxic relationship, you will avoid accumulating negative feelings. A relationship should help fulfill and support you, not drag you into a spiral of competition, pointless arguments, and resentment. If your bond doesn't offer any emotional support, end the relationship.
Step 12. Keep busy
A great way to neutralize apathy is to fill your agenda with commitments, despite your resistance. Call a friend and plan a dinner on Monday, then make sure you hit the gym on Tuesday. Take a long walk on Wednesdays and visit a friend who lives across town. Fill your week and don't give yourself any chance to linger.
- Try to identify the "empty spaces", which are the hours of the day or the moments when you feel most apathetic or low in spirits. If you feel like you're always feeling unmotivated before you go to work, use that moment to do something.
- For example, take that time to listen to encouraging songs or motivational or meditative audio material that has the ability to change your mindset. Fill your blanks with rich and positive information.
Part 3 of 4: Implementing a Plan
Step 1. Develop a routine that suits your needs
To ignite the spark that went out again, you have to make a decision to overcome apathy. By setting each stage in your personal regrowth plan, you will have the opportunity to develop more positive feelings. It is a calculated attempt to get small results that will lead you to bigger successes.
- This kind of routine will be able to provide you with the structure you need to lift yourself from the abyss of apathy. By following it, you will not be forced to think about what you need to do every day. Just respect her and take care of your business.
- Start with simple habits, such as: wake up at 7:00, breakfast, shower and get ready for the day by 9:00; at the end of the day, organize your clothes and lunch for the next day and go to bed by 10pm.
Step 2. Commit to changing your views and behaviors
Reach an agreement with yourself. The promise to make your life better is one of the most respectful things you can do. Sometimes it will be difficult to maintain it if you allow yourself the opportunity to compromise with your moral principles.
- Make a deal with yourself about your behavior and get a witness as well. This way you will feel more bound to fulfill your task.
- It can be hard to make a change, but if it's about you, it's worth it.
- You may run into disappointment, but you need to be the first person to give yourself a second chance.
- If you feel like you are breaking a promise you made, say to yourself, "I know it's tough, but I promised myself to do great things, eat right and regain strength. I say it out loud to remind me. same commitment. I promise."
Step 3. Put your plan into action
You are changing your situation, which is difficult, but the rewards can be immense. Actively focus on all the steps you can take to achieve your goal. Keep the information you need and the to-do list handy so you can use these tools in case you have a moment of weakness. There is a time to grow and a time to rest, but don't give yourself a chance to regress for something that has put you down.
Step 4. Identify what your first most constructive activity will be
Find something to focus on and throw yourself headlong. Just try not to get fit, write a novel and learn to play the guitar in the same week. You would risk feeling a sense of oppression. Passions promote health and in all likelihood prevent you from falling into a state of apathy.
- Choose a musical instrument, learn to brew beer or pick a sport and start playing. Find something exciting.
- Don't worry if you don't excel at something. Let your fingers become rough and callused as you learn to play the guitar. Get confused as you study French philosophy. Taste the suffering as it grows and see it as a test you can overcome, not a block you will never be able to overcome.
Step 5. Correct the imperfections
You are a person and, as such, imperfect, just like everyone else. Any well-defined plan includes an opportunity to make corrections over time as needed. You will be bound to make missteps. However, by recovering, not only will you get back on track, but you will have the opportunity to regroup and move on.
- If you have an agreement on your behavior, add a few footnotes when necessary and sign it together with your witness.
- If necessary, use each day to tell yourself, "Today is going to be a great day. Yesterday is behind us."
Step 6. Acknowledge your progress
It is important to write down plans, goals and accomplishments, as you will have the opportunity to examine how far you have come. Progress is contagious. If you show yourself that you are able to improve, you will become even more capable and apathy will be just a bad memory.
Part 4 of 4: Coping with Apathy
Step 1. Leave the past behind
If you are trying to get rid of something that continues to devour you, hold you back, or fuel a sense of apathy, you probably still need to process some residual emotions. Eventually you will reach a point where you will feel and believe that you have left your difficulties behind. By living every day in the present, you will be able to forget the past.
Process leftover emotions from the past by talking to a close friend, family member, or therapist. This will reaffirm the desire to stop the effects of apathy
Step 2. Tell friends and family that you are looking to change your life
Not only will others want to help you out, but speaking it will help you be responsible to yourself and achieve your goals. If you're having trouble, try saying, "I'm having a hard time and I really appreciate your support. Do you have any ideas for me about how you have dealt with your difficulties in the past? ".
Step 3. Get informed
Apathy is directly related to other major problems, including anxiety, stress, clinical depression, illness and metabolic disorders. It is important to take into account that the general sense of apathy, especially if it lasts for long periods of time, can be one of the biggest symptoms of clinical depression, which can be the main cause of your mood.
- External causes may include dissatisfaction at work, in romantic relationships, or other circumstances that make you feel misunderstood or undervalued.
- If you are dissatisfied with something that has given you pleasure in the past, identify when you first started feeling this way. Was it always like this? Is it connected to a romantic breakup or a moment of extreme restlessness?
- Do you feel indifferent to activities that were once engaging and exciting, unmotivated at work or school, unable to keep going because you waste time watching TV, playing video games and messing around on the Internet?
- Do you feel frustrated or embarrassed around friends who lead interesting lives or are you avoiding them altogether?
Step 4. Be open and honest with yourself
Introspection is a method of attempting to directly access one's inner mechanisms. Once you understand the way and the reasons that push you to react in a certain way in front of others and the surrounding reality, you will be able to solve many personal difficulties. Only you can do what it takes to find the answers to these questions. It can be difficult to analyze yourself, but it will help you to have clearer ideas about the path to take towards change.
Step 5. Disconnect from the Internet
A great step to avoid falling into a spiral of low self-esteem is to unplug from social networks for short periods of time. It is not necessary to stop using Facebook out of the blue, but some scholars have discovered a relevant link between depression and constant clicks on photos posted on Facebook about friends' holidays. The more you use Facebook, the less happy you are.
Step 6. Seek professional help
If you are really in trouble, don't go through it all alone. Make an appointment with a therapist and talk about your apathy problems. Just schedule a session and have someone to confide in.
Step 7. Know that you are not alone
Usually, we tend to believe that no one else can formulate our own thoughts and have feelings similar to ours. Realize that many others have experienced exactly what you feel and received the help they needed. Fight the urge to get away from the outside world, as it could lead to social isolation and the risk of not getting the help you need.
Find a support group through a friend, doctor, or trusted source on the Internet. If you know you are not alone, you will be able to find the strength to make the changes you want
Step 8. Generate power in life gradually
With every step you take, you can shed a layer of apathy. If you offer yourself the opportunity to see life from a new point of view, you will become more confident and the sense of apathy will fade. Getting rid of it is not a quick process, but as you go along you will gain momentum that will carry you to the next stage until you are totally free of it.
Advice
- Remind yourself how much you are worth. Your self-esteem depends on your self-confidence, happiness and the help you offer to others. It doesn't depend on what others think of you.
- Keeping a personal journal can be a great idea. Start writing, drawing, painting and so on. If you like poems or songs, write those too. One of the most important things is being able to express yourself.
- If you had a difficult childhood, you should consider psychotherapy to address any issues that may be affecting feelings and behaviors.
- Be happy. In order not to feel apathy during the day, find something joyful to think about every morning.
- Try to take pleasure in the company of others.
- Worry about what's going on in the world. It considers it important to study current events in depth. It will help you feel part of reality instead of an isolated element.
- If there is something you cannot control or do on your own, ask for help - for example, if you are severely underweight, overweight, or if you are contemplating harming yourself or others.
- Human beings need to interact with their fellow humans. So if you get in touch with someone, they will do the same.
- Give yourself some rewards for your progress, especially if you interact with other people. Make these rewards inspire you to fill your life with success.
