According to Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard, "thoughts can be our worst friends and our worst enemies". Each of us has gone through moments where it seemed that the mind had a will of its own, but taking control of our thoughts can make us happier and less stressed, and also allow us to solve problems or achieve the goals we set ourselves. Read on to learn how to take ownership of your mind.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Take Control of Your Thoughts
Step 1. Stop and take a deep breath
When your thoughts become uncontrollable, literally thinking "STOP!", You will have a way to stop them. Breathe deeply several times to recover before returning to deal with your problems with the most serene spirit and clearer ideas.
- By focusing on your breathing for a moment, you will take some distance from your worries and have less difficulty managing them.
- Studies show that it takes 90 seconds for neurochemical reactions to disappear and brain mechanisms to return to normal, so try counting to 90 to calm yourself down.
Step 2. Stay in the present
By constantly ruminating on past moments or projecting yourself into future ones, you will only lose control of your thoughts. Remember that you do not have the power to change the past nor can you predict the future. Therefore, focus on the present, or on the concrete situation in which you find yourself at this moment. Be interested in what you can control and your mind will follow you.
- Many spiritual practices suggest staying anchored to the present to foster inner peace and a clearer view of circumstances.
- A simple question to ask is: what can I do right now to change my mood?
Step 3. Observe your thoughts without judging them
After taking a break, go back to what you were thinking, avoiding being critical of yourself. Reflect on why you have these thoughts and what made you think that you have lost control of your mind. By analyzing them objectively, you can find meaning, without giving rise to negative emotions.
- Stick to hard, objective facts. If you find yourself in a conflict situation with someone, don't blame them and don't try to guess why they might be angry. Consider all the events that led to an argument, what you can do to remedy it, and what specifically bothered you.
- Instead of thinking, "I'm really a rock with women. It's my fault that I don't have a girlfriend," try saying to yourself, "I haven't found love yet because I haven't met any girl who is truly compatible with. my character ".
- If you have difficulty, write down what you think and read it aloud.
Step 4. Go out of your way to face your thoughts
By dwelling on what you think without acting, you will be bound to be trapped in an endless cycle of mental ruminations. Make a plan for dealing with thoughts and worries, since there is often a lot of uncertainty behind unwanted thoughts. If you can't stop thinking about work, for example, prepare an action plan to separate your professional from private life, perhaps by taking vacation, working less when you're at home, or finding a new job that satisfies you the most.
- Often we cannot control our thoughts because we are afraid to act on them.
- Once you've worked out your action plan, you'll need to put it into action.
Step 5. Find a comfortable environment
The external world deeply affects our interiority, so if you are in a context where you feel uncomfortable or have the impression of losing control, your thoughts will reflect these feelings. Listen to some relaxing songs, light a candle or go to your "favorite place".
Fragrances like lavender, chamomile and frankincense have been shown to have the power to relax people and can help regain control of their thoughts
Step 6. Take a moment to distract yourself from your worries by dedicating yourself to something else
Go for a run, watch a movie, or call a friend to take your mind off what's bothering you. Take care of something you can do right now so that you don't dwell too much on unwanted thoughts.
- Take note of the activities that relax you and include them in your weekly planner.
- Remember, however, that this is an immediate fix. You should still think about how to stem your thoughts when you can't "escape" from them.
Step 7. Talk to someone to tell what you think
By looking at your thoughts from another perspective, you have the ability to eliminate them in minutes. Therefore, if you trust your feelings, you will avoid them constantly nagging you.
- The best people to talk to are friends, parents, and therapists.
- If you feel uncomfortable, start saying, "I want to get a weight off my stomach" or "Something has been bothering me all day. Would you mind listening to me for a moment?"
Part 2 of 2: Stay in Control of Your Thoughts
Step 1. Don't try to choose your thoughts, but control them as they arise
The human brain is an incredible organ: it is able to stretch the imagination, bring back memories and have insights at any moment. By virtue of his abilities, you will never be able to control every thought. Strive to control what you think as it arises, without repressing what you do not wish to think.
Paradoxically, all attempts to deliberately ignore something are in vain. Whenever you force yourself not to think about it, you systematically fall back into that thought
Step 2. Prioritize Mental Health
Take care of your brain by sleeping 7-8 hours every night, managing stress properly and maintaining a positive outlook on life.
By eating healthily and exercising regularly, you can keep yourself in excellent mental as well as physical condition
Step 3. Be aware of the events that trigger unwanted thoughts
While you shouldn't run away from your problems, try to be aware of what pushes your thoughts in a negative direction and be prepared when they manifest. Plan your day to end it with a stimulating activity, such as doing creative work, your family, or reading a good book. This way you can spend your free time thinking about the things you love.
- Try to take a few minutes' break each day to take stock of how your life is progressing.
- Be aware of what you think during moments that trigger unwanted thoughts, avoiding judging or being self-critical.
Step 4. Meditate
Over the centuries, meditation has been a vital tool as it helped people relax and take control of their thoughts. Find some time to meditate each day, even if it's only 5-10 minutes, especially on days when you have a harder time controlling your thoughts.
Meditation has also been shown to contribute to heart and body health
Step 5. Frame your thoughts from a positive point of view or make sure they don't get in your way
Re-formulate what you think and contextualize it in the reality around you, so you can understand it better. For example, instead of feeling sorry for the fact that the boss has rejected your relationship because he hates you, you recognize that this person also has other concerns on the mind, such as employees, the company, their superiors and profits, not only what he thinks of you.
For example, when the person you love doesn't call you for a while, they're likely busy or stressed, not sick or in danger
Step 6. Admit that there are many things you cannot control
Don't get obsessed with things that you ultimately have no power over - people, weather, news - and instead, focus on yourself. When you think about everything that is beyond your control, remember that the only person you have the ability to control is you, so work on this aspect. It doesn't mean that you don't have to try to exert your influence on the world around you. However, you are the person who can have the greatest impact on your thoughts.
Advice
- Especially during creative work, remember that by fully controlling your thoughts, you risk hindering your inspiration or you will have difficulty progressing in your work.
- These steps are just a start, so you need to experiment with different ways to go about it and adapt them to your personality to find the one that best suits your needs.
Warnings
- If you have trouble controlling depressive, violent, or suicidal thoughts, immediately call a dedicated line to support those with emotional distress, such as Telefono Amico, or contact a therapist.
- Don't use dangerous substances to control your thoughts.
