Bipolar disorder is a severe psychopathology that also impacts the people living around those affected. If you are married to a bipolar person, your marriage could face many difficulties. Although mental illness can put the couple in jeopardy, it is not necessary to divorce if both partners work together. Find out how to manage a bipolar husband to lead a healthy and fulfilling married life.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Managing Bipolar Disorder Together With Your Husband
Step 1. Research bipolar disorder
One way to manage a bipolar person is to learn more about their psychopathology. Discover the symptoms, the different phases and also the various types. By educating yourself, you will learn to identify manic or depressive episodes, understand the chemical imbalance that causes these events, and notice any problematic behavior.
By getting to know the disorder better, you will avoid surprises and reduce the frustration that comes from the confusion generated by bipolarism
Step 2. Follow the treatment together
If you have a bipolar husband, you too will need to participate in his care. In other words, you will have to accompany him to the psychiatrist. In this way, you will become a part of the therapeutic process that will help heal the marriage. By giving an honest assessment of their behavior, your doctor will help you better understand the person around you.
- Make sure you have your husband's consent, otherwise the psychiatrist will not be able to include you in the treatment process.
- Explain to your husband that you do not accompany him to therapy sessions to try to control him or bypass his presence, but to offer support and participate in treatment, as the progress he makes in healing and managing his problems is important to both of you.
Step 3. Adopt a pattern
Since you live with a bipolar person, you should help them put their daily life in order. It's about establishing a routine that allows her to avoid triggers and not get caught off guard. The schedule should include bedtime and waking times, physical movement, healthy eating and psychological counseling, as well as other daily or weekly activities.
Include time together in your schedule. It is important that you and your husband communicate, be together and make a commitment to make your marriage work. For example, propose spending three hours just for the two of you every Saturday night. You can go to the cinema, eat out, listen to some music and be together at home. In these moments it eliminates all distractions, including cell phones and computers
Step 4. Offer your husband a safe environment
You should create an atmosphere in which your partner feels safe. He needs a space where he can express how he feels without the threat of feeling punished or condemned. For a bipolar subject it is essential to have a safe environment in order to be able to manage the sense of frustration that derives from his illness.
In order to create a space where your husband feels safe, let him know that he has every right to express what he feels. Stay on his side by talking to him every time bipolarity overwhelms him
Step 5. Tell your children about bipolar disorder
If you have children, you don't have to hide their father's bipolarity. They need to understand what this psychopathology entails and also how society views mood disorders, especially bipolar, in order for them to be able to deal with the problem.
- Teach your kids not to hide their feelings. Explain that their every feeling is legitimate, from embarrassment to anger at their father's behavior.
- Prevent your husband's disorder from becoming a family secret that your children cannot talk about. He is not healthy and there is a risk that they will begin to fear their father or his illness.
Step 6. Recognize the moments when bipolarism takes over
Sometimes people with bipolar disorder come to say things they don't think. When your husband is very nervous, he may express himself harshly. When he is depressed, however, he may say that it would be better if he died and that he no longer cares about anything. Learn to distinguish the disturbance-induced utterances from its true intentions.
- It will probably take some time to figure out this difference and you will need the psychiatrist's help to recognize these moments.
- Remember that the need to recognize the words dictated by bipolarism does not justify any verbal violence on the part of your husband. If he does this, see your psychiatrist and ask him for help.
Part 2 of 4: Setting Limits With Your Husband
Step 1. Establish ground rules
By mutual agreement, you should set rules that allow you to manage bipolar disorder and, in this case, the different behaviors, the most severe depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts, the crazy expenses made in the grip of the manic phase. Creating such rules will tell both of you what to expect from each other when your husband starts acting a certain way.
- Think about these rules when your husband is not in the throes of manic depression.
- Make it clear that your rules are non-negotiable. Tell them what behaviors you don't think are acceptable. Explain the consequences and steps you will take if you don't take your medications, indulge in sprees, or do something else. Try to respect them, otherwise any action plan will be useless.
- Remember that you are talking to your husband and life partner, so be firm, but also loving. Don't bully him or treat him like a child. Confront as two grown-ups organizing to handle a problem in order to safeguard marriage and family.
Step 2. Establish rules on how to apply management strategies
To cope with bipolar disorder and ensure that married and family life are not disrupted, it is important that the bipolar person follows his or her management plan. Therefore, your husband should take medications according to the doctor's prescriptions, go to therapy and follow any management strategies established in agreement with the psychiatrist.
A simple rule that cannot be compromised is to take medicines according to the doctor's prescription. Most of the problems that arise during bipolar treatment depend on people neglecting their medications or stopping taking them
Step 3. Establish restrictions on wasting money
Many bipolar people indulge in compulsive spending. These episodes involve endless stress and economic strain for the family and the couple relationship. Therefore, rules should be set on how to limit any purchase made in the grip of a manic phase.
For example, stipulate that you can take your credit card away or block your bank account if you start spending
Step 4. Refuse to tolerate any kind of abuse
Some people with bipolar disorder can lose their temper and blame the family. So, make it clear to your husband that this behavior will not be tolerated and that you will not accept any aggression from him, neither physical nor verbal nor psychological.
If he uses verbal or psychological violence, let him know how you can help him keep his insults and sudden anger under control. Consult your psychiatrist if necessary
Step 5. Create an action plan for times of crisis
You should set rules for even the most difficult situations, such as refusing to take medication, alternating between depressive and manic phases, or wanting to commit suicide. In these cases, the established rules serve to protect both of you.
- For example, he may take on the task of contacting the doctor when he enters a depressive phase.
- He may warn you when he is contemplating suicide, so that you can call the doctor and get the help he needs.
Part 3 of 4: Protect Yourself When Your Husband is Bipolar
Step 1. Avoid ignoring the problem
Some people think mental illnesses go away if ignored. No one in the family should underestimate your husband's bipolarity, but neither should he neglect his disorder by refusing to accept it or seek treatment. You shouldn't ignore him and pretend he's okay, or the problems may get worse over time.
If you can't help it, don't repress the pain that your husband has bipolarity. Suffering can help you accept and deal with his problem. It is not easy to deal with a bipolar person, so give yourself the time you need to prepare yourself for this new challenge in life
Step 2. Don't spin your life around your husband
Even if, given the conditions, you will have to make changes and make sacrifices, that doesn't mean your life has to revolve around your husband. You don't have to live for him. Continue to be yourself, cultivate your interests and manage yourself as you always have. Follow your passions, your career and your personal goals. Don't sacrifice yourself.
Remember that you are a person who deserves to live peacefully. You have every right to take care of yourself as well as your husband. If your life revolves only around him, numerous problems could arise over time
Step 3. Find a support network
When your husband alternates between depressive and manic phases, you may have a hard time asking for help because you fear the judgment of others. However, you should seek support from family or friends. Find reliable people who can help you lighten your burden.
If you don't want to reach out to someone you know, find a support group. It will offer you a safe space in which to talk about your life as a couple with a bipolar man without the fear of experiencing negative reactions
Part 4 of 4: Encouraging Your Husband to Ask for Help
Step 1. Be aware that bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed
Misdiagnosis is common among people with bipolarity, sometimes due to the high rate of comorbidity (ie, for a variety of associated diseases). Individuals with bipolar disorder may also have substance addiction problems, suffer from ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social phobia. Additionally, in some cases only the depressive symptoms of bipolar disorder are detected and treated.
If you believe your husband's diagnosis is wrong, encourage him to share his symptoms with his psychiatrist
Step 2. Discuss the topic in quiet moments
If he has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past but has not received any treatment, you should encourage him to get the help he needs. In this way, you will have the opportunity not to expose yourself to risks and to live a fulfilling and loving marriage. Introduce the topic when both of you are quiet, not when there is anger or emotional tension.
It is very likely that the first time you talk about it you will not get any results. Your husband may get angry or annoyed at this topic. He may think he doesn't need help because he thinks he can handle his problem well. If that's the case, forget it and resume the discussion later
Step 3. Be loving when you talk to him
Be very careful how you talk to your husband when you bring up bipolar disorder. Try to be patient and thoughtful, without using a tone of accusation. Do not get emotional and do not get nervous, otherwise you could make him unwell.
Don't frame the situation using second-person sentences. Instead, deliver your speech in the first person. For example, you could say, "I love you and I have noticed that you are very down lately. I would like to help you if I have the opportunity", or, "I see your difficulties every day. I love you, so I have investigated a little and I believe. you may be suffering from bipolar disorder"
Step 4. Inform your husband
There is a chance that bipolar disorder has never been diagnosed. If your husband has never realized his problem, he probably won't suspect anything and won't even be aware of the symptoms. Therefore, you should be prepared to offer him information about his ailment. Offer to look for them together or give them time to examine them.
You may want to print some articles on how you can identify the symptoms of bipolar disorder or find the most suitable treatments. In addition to the most common symptoms produced by the various types of bipolarism, you can enter information on the consequences that this disorder has on the brain. You should also include the treatment options available to him
Step 5. Protect yourself from aggression
While there is the potential to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship with a bipolar person, a strong commitment to treating and managing the problem is required on both sides. However, sometimes it doesn't happen. If your husband ignores his diagnosis or refuses to seek treatment, you could be abused in the long run.
