PMS is hard for a man to manage: he doesn't understand his wife / girlfriend / mother and doesn't know what he's going through. Suddenly, he sees her reduced to a bundle of nerves and with unpredictable mood swings… but here are some tips on what to do.
Steps
Step 1. Once you know your significant other is suffering from PMS, don't forget it and try to understand how she feels
You may have stomach cramps, headaches or back pain; you may feel bloated or nauseous. She may be tired or lightheaded from lack of iron; having sudden cravings and mood swings. Thinking clearly might be difficult for her and everyone around her might irritate her… it's a matter of perspective, but that's what it feels like. Some women experience only some of these symptoms, others each and every one can have different intensities depending on the person, the months or the levels of stress.
Step 2. Remember that stress makes symptoms worse:
anything you can do to help reduce it will work in your favor. Go the extra mile to help her before she asks you: throw your dirty clothes in the laundry basket, wash the dishes, vacuum (and try to do it like her even if it doesn't seem logical to you. Don't start experiments. on how to improve the washing of clothes until everything is passed to her and in any case not without asking her first). Let her know that you are available: "Hey, I have a free hour. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Step 3. Once you understand what symptoms exactly she is presenting, you will need to try to make her feel better
Cramps should be combated with hot water or a relaxing bath. You could massage her back or even her entire body to relieve tension. If you need it, get her a pain reliever. A herbal tea helps absorb bloating and gas. Read the label if you are unsure.
Step 4. If she wants to be alone, leave her alone
He may need to rest or just feel like lying in bed watching some cheesy movie or eating chocolate. Listen to her and let her tell you what she wants.
Step 5. Remember that because he feels so down, he may get angry or sad and take it out on you
If he starts to rant, don't argue. You don't necessarily have to agree but stay calm or try to give her some helpful answers: "You might be right." (You're not saying she IS right, just that she might. No matter what the situation is, she is!). Anything you say can and will be used against you. Don't worry: inside, she knows it's not your fault but right now her hormones are tangling her emotions. Within a few days it will be the same again. Don't take anything he says personally.
Step 6. Remember:
it is not his fault that he feels bad and has hormonal changes. It is not his fault that he cries or gets angry for no reason. It may seem like she became a drama artist intentionally, but she doesn't really know how to master hormones and once they have subsided, she will go back to normal and appreciate that you have been patient with her.
Advice
- Getting nicer than usual is a great way to earn points. Rent her a movie, make her tea or hot chocolate, give her something to eat, spend time with her. Make sure that's what she wants, though, to avoid annoying her too much with your presence. She may want to be alone.
- If you suspect your other half is suffering from PMS but she doesn't admit it, opt for yes and play it safe (never say you do though). Or maybe you could be nice to her all the time. And remember that reducing stress will be the best aphrodisiac …
- Don't force her to talk about how she feels and why. Much more often than men think, a woman knows she is irrational at this stage, but she can't help it. Or understand it. Let her vent. Try to get her to bring out all her feelings. Give her the understanding she needs from you.
- Support it without affecting it.
- Hug her. Love her. He's more of a victim of PMS than you will ever be. She is the one who endures the symptoms month after month for a lifetime, alone. Don't be a selfish spoiled victim. Under the anger, a fragile woman hides. Don't forget it.
Warnings
- If she tries to start an argument, stay calm. Do not comment and if you really can't avoid it, leave the room. Any quarrel while she is like this will be ten times worse than it normally would be, so if there are any arguments, wait and discuss them until she is able to do it rationally.
- Do not overdo it. Don't make her take painkillers or herbal tea if she doesn't want them. Not all women like them. Some prefer to eat chocolate. Of course, it's always good to offer her alternatives - she'll appreciate your effort.
- If she is grumpy, don't ask her, "Do you have your stuff?" It is a sexist attitude. Women are upset for so many reasons, just like men: PMS isn't always to blame.
