How to Overcome Hyperemotion (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Emotional sensitivity is a good thing, but when it goes beyond a certain level it can be harmful. Make your strong feelings become allies, not enemies. Hypersensitivity can cause you to resent offenses that you have only imagined or that are unintentional. Misinterpreting everyday human interactions, especially constructive ones, can compromise your ability to live a healthy and happy life. By compensating for sensitivity with common sense, trust and resilience, you will be able to not overreact to daily events.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Exploring Your Feelings

Step 1. Recognize that hypersensitivity is an innate trait of yours

Neuroscientific studies have shown that our level of emotionality is, at least in part, linked to our genetic heritage. It seems that about 20% of the world population has a "high level of sensitivity", that is, a greater awareness of subtle stimuli (which, on the other hand, most people miss) and a more intense perception of them. This increase in sensitivity is due to a gene that affects the production of norepinephrine, a "stress hormone" that also acts as a neurotransmitter, stimulating our reactions and our attention.

Hyperemotion is also partly linked to oxytocin, the hormone responsible for human feelings and relationships. Oxytocin can also trigger emotions. If your body spontaneously secretes a large amount of it, your "innate social reasoning skills" are more intense, increasing your sensitivity to catch (and sometimes misinterpret) even imperceptible signals.
Societies treat hypersensitive people in different ways. In many Western cultures, hypersensitive people are often misunderstood and mistaken for spineless or spineless people. Very often they are the victim of derision. But that's not the case everywhere. In other societies, on the other hand, hypersensitive people are considered particularly gifted, due to their great capacity for perception and, therefore, for understanding others. What is just a character trait can be considered in very different ways, depending on the culture you are a part of and on factors such as gender, family environment and school context.
While it is possible (and desirable!) To learn how to manage your emotions more effectively, as a sensitive person by nature you must first of all accept this reality of yours. You can never become a radically different person and you shouldn't even try. Just try to become the best version of yourself.

Step 2. Do a self-assessment

If you're not sure if you're really oversensitive, there are ways to self-evaluate. One of these is to answer a questionnaire, such as the one available on the "Highly Sensitive People - HSP Italia" website. You can also try to answer the questionnaire (in English) available on PsychCentral and taken from the book The Emotionally Sensitive Person. The questions you answer will help you reflect on your emotions and experiences.

As you answer, try not to judge yourself. Answer sincerely. Once you've identified your sensitivity level, you can focus on managing your emotions more efficiently.
Remember, it's not about being who you think you "should" be. Answer truthfully, whether you are a sensitive person, or one who thinks you are more sensitive than you really are.

Step 3. Explore your emotions by keeping a journal

Keeping an "emotional journal" can help you track and explore your emotions and reactions. It will help you find out what are the factors that trigger a hyperemotional reaction in you. It will also help you understand when your reactions are reasonable.

Try to write down everything you feel at this very moment and proceed backwards to try to reconstruct the reasons for your state of mind. For example, are you worried right now? What could have happened during the day to cause this mood in you? You may find that even a small event is enough to trigger a strong emotional reaction in you.
You can also ask yourself specific questions, such as:
- How do I feel right now?
- What do I think happened to trigger this reaction?
- What usually has to happen for me to feel this way?
- Have I ever felt like this before?
You can also give yourself a time to respond. Write a sentence, such as "I'm sad" or "I'm angry". Put a timer: within two minutes try to write down everything you associate with this mood. Don't stop to correct what you've written and don't censor your feelings. For now, just mention them.
When you are done, reread what you wrote. Can you spot any patterns? Emotions hidden behind the reactions? For example, anxiety is often caused by fear, sadness from loss, anger from the feeling of being attacked, etc.
You can also focus on a particular event. For example, someone on the bus may have given you a look that you interpreted as critical of your appearance. You may have felt hurt by that look and felt sadness or anger. Try to always keep these two concepts clear: 1) you are not actually aware of what is happening in the mind of others, 2) what others think of you does not matter. That "glare" may very well have been the reaction to something that has nothing to do with it. And even if that person actually wanted to express a judgment, well, they don't know anything about you and the characteristics that make you special.
Remember to be self-indulgent in your judgments. Don't judge yourself for your feelings. Remember: at first you may not be able to control your feelings, but you can always control the way you react to those feelings.

Step 4. Avoid labeling yourself

Unfortunately, very sensitive people are often denigrated and offended with epithets such as "whiners" or "whines". Worse still: these epithets sometimes become real labels that others stick on you. Over time, it's easy to end up sticking them on yourself and forgetting that you are, yes, a sensitive person who happens to cry every now and then, but only very rarely. In this case, you focus on just one problematic aspect of yourself, which ends up defining you entirely.

Counteract negative "labels" by reconfiguring them. This means taking the "label", peeling it off and reconsidering the situation in a larger context.
For example, a teenager cries with disappointment and an acquaintance witnesses the muttered "Frignona!" and he goes away. Instead of taking it badly, she thinks, "I know I'm not a whiner. Sure, sometimes I react emotionally to situations. This means that I can cry when others wouldn't. I'm working on it, trying to react in a a more socially acceptable way. However, offending someone who is crying is a despicable act. I never do that, because I have respect for people."

Step 5. Identify the factors that trigger your sensitivity

You may be perfectly aware of the triggers, just as you may not be. Your mind may have developed an "automatic reaction" pattern to a certain stimulus, such as a stressful experience. Over time, this pattern becomes a habit, to the point where you immediately react in a certain way to a given situation, without even thinking about it. Fortunately, you can learn to re-educate your mind by shaping new patterns.

The next time you experience an emotion such as panic, anxiety or anger, stop doing what you are doing and shift your focus to the feelings you are experiencing. What are your five senses doing? Don't judge your experiences, but observe them.
This practice is called "self-observation" and can help you break down those complex "information flows" that are experiences into single elements. We are often overwhelmed or overwhelmed by an emotion to such an extent that we can no longer distinguish anything in the tangle of emotional and sensory stimuli that are unleashed all at once. By slowing down, focusing on the individual senses and separating the various information circuits, you can more easily reprogram the "automatic" habits of your mind.
For example, your mind may react to stress by increasing the rate of your heart rate, which could make you feel tense and nervous. Knowing that this is a reaction that your body automatically puts in place will help you interpret your reactions differently.
Keeping a diary can also be helpful for this purpose. Whenever you feel that you are reacting emotionally, note the moment when the emotion begins to take over, your feelings, your sensory experiences, your thoughts and all the details of the case. Armed with this awareness, you can try to re-educate yourself to react differently.
Sometimes a sensory experience, such as being in a particular place or smelling a familiar scent, triggers an emotional reaction. It is not always a question of "hypersensitivity". To give an example: if you and your grandmother (who is no longer here) had the habit of preparing apple pie together from time to time, smelling it can trigger an emotional reaction of sadness in you. Knowing the mechanism behind this reaction is sound. Dwell consciously on this mechanism for a moment and realize the reason for your reaction: "I'm sad because I had a lot of fun making cakes with my grandmother. I miss him." Then, after honoring your feelings, you can move on to something positive: "I'm going to make an apple pie today to remember it."

Step 6. Consider the possibility that you are codependent

A relationship is codependent when you feel that your self-esteem and your own identity depend on the actions and reactions of another person. You may feel like your life's purpose is to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your partner. The fact that your partner disapproves of something you have done or a feeling you have felt could devastate you. Codependency is very common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in any type of relationship. Here are some signs that indicate a codependent relationship:

You feel as if your fulfillment in life depended on a specific person;
You recognize unhealthy behaviors in your partner, but nevertheless stay with him;
You go to great lengths to accommodate your partner, even if it means sacrificing your own needs and health;
You are constantly worried about your relationship situation;
You do not distinctly perceive your personal boundaries;
You feel very uneasy at the idea of saying "no";
You react to the thoughts or feelings of others in only two ways: by fully agreeing or by immediately putting yourself on the defensive.
Codependency is cured. Consulting a mental health professional is ideal, but self-help groups, such as Codependent Anonymous, can also help.

Step 7. Don't rush

Exploring your emotions, especially in the realm of sensitivity, can be tough. Don't try too hard and don't expect to fix everything at once. Psychology has shown that letting go of your securities is a necessary step in personal growth, but trying to do everything too quickly can be counterproductive and lead you to failure.

Make an "appointment" with yourself to analyze your emotions. Let's say you can spend 30 minutes a day on this survey. Afterwards, after the emotional work of the day is finished, allow yourself to do something relaxing or pleasant to relax your nerves.
Write down the circumstances that you struggle to analyze because the undertaking is too difficult or makes you too uncomfortable. Procrastination is often caused by fear: we are afraid that an experience may be unpleasant and so we postpone it. Remind yourself that you are strong enough to do it and then go for it.
If the burden of dealing with your emotions is really too heavy, try to focus on a goal that is objectively achievable. Start with 30 seconds if you prefer. All you have to do is face your emotions for 30 seconds. You can do it. Once you reach this first milestone, add another 30 seconds. You will find that achieving these mini milestones will help give you confidence.

Step 8. Allow yourself to feel emotions

Overcoming hyperemotion doesn't mean you have to stop feeling all your emotions. Indeed, trying to suppress or deny them can be harmful. Instead, aim to recognize "unpleasant" emotions such as anger, sorrow, fear and pain (just as necessary to the emotional health of "positive" ones like joy and contentment), without letting them take over.. Try to find a balance between all emotions.

Try to identify a "protected area", within which you can safely express everything you feel. For example, if you are grieving, give yourself some time each day to express all your feelings. Set a timer and express your emotions: cry, talk about your feelings, do whatever you feel you need. When the time runs out, you can go back to your day's activities. You will feel better knowing that you have honored your feelings. You will also avoid spending all day at the mercy of a single emotion, which can be harmful. Knowing that the time will come when you can express everything you feel within your "protected area", you will face your daily tasks more easily

Part 2 of 3: Analyzing Your Thoughts

Step 1. Learn to recognize the emotional distortions underlying your hypersensitivity

Cognitive distortions are useless tendencies to think and react in a certain way that your mind has assimilated over time. You can learn to identify and counter these distortions as they are implemented.

Cognitive distortions usually do not occur individually. As you explore your mental patterns, you may notice that several arise, in response to a single feeling or a single event. If you analyze them carefully and without haste, you can understand which are useful and which are not.
There are many types of cognitive distortions, but the ones that most commonly trigger hyperemotion are personalization, the tendency to label, the use of the verb "must", emotional reasoning, and the tendency to draw hasty conclusions.

Step 2. Recognize and counter the trend towards personalization

Personalization is a very common type of distortion, capable of triggering hyperemotion. When you personalize, you make yourself responsible for circumstances that have nothing to do with you, or that you cannot control. You may also take things "as personal" that aren't really directed at you.

For example, if your daughter is reprimanded by the teacher for her behavior, you could personalize the criticism as if it were directed directly at you: "Dana's teacher considers me a bad father! How bravely does she offend my educational method?". This interpretation could lead you to a hypersensitive reaction, when you attribute to criticism an accusatory intent towards you.
Instead, try to have a logical approach to the situation (it will take a lot of practice, so be patient with yourself). Strictly analyze what happened and ask yourself what you actually know about it. If the teacher has given Dana a note, recommending more attention in class, that doesn't mean she's accusing you of being a "bad" parent. He's just giving you information so you can help your daughter do better in school. It is an opportunity for growth, not a shame.

Step 3. Recognize and counter the tendency to label

The tendency to label is a mental process that is part of the "all or nothing" category. It often occurs in conjunction with personalization. When you self-label yourself, you judge yourself based on a single action or event, instead of recognizing that what you do is not who you are.

For example, if you get a bad grade on a school test, you might label yourself a "fail" or a "loser". This attitude implies that you don't think you can improve, so it's not even worth trying. It can lead you to feel guilt and shame. It also makes it very difficult to accept any constructive criticism, because you see it as a sign of "failure".
Rather, recognize mistakes and problems for what they are - specific situations you can only learn from to grow. Instead of labeling yourself as "failure" when you get a bad grade in a test, acknowledge your mistakes and ask yourself what you can learn from this experience: "Okay, I didn't do very well on this test. I was disappointed, but it is not the case. to make a tragedy of it. I will speak with the teacher to understand what I can do to improve and go better next time ".

Step 4. Recognize and counter the use of the verb "duty"

It is a harmful habit, as it forces you (and forces others) to adhere to standards that are mostly unreasonable. These standards are often based on purely theoretical concepts, rather than referring to realities that have actual meaning to you. When you transgress a "duty", you tend to punish yourself, with the result that your motivation to change decreases even more. These abstract concepts can cause feelings of guilt, frustration and anger.

For example, you might think, "I really should go on a diet. I shouldn't be that lazy." You're basically trying to "blame yourself" in hopes of spurring yourself into action, but guilt doesn't work very well as stimuli.
You can counter the use of the verb "duty" by reflecting on the deeper meaning it implies. For example, do you think you "should" go on a diet because they told you so? Why do you feel pressured by social pressure to look a certain way? These are neither healthy nor functional reasons for achieving a goal.
If, on the other hand, you think you "should" go on a diet because you talked to your doctor and agree that it would be good for your health, you can turn the "duty" into a more constructive affirmation: "I want to worry about my health, so I'll try to consume more fresh food: it's a question of self-respect ". So, you don't blame yourself in hopes of spurring yourself to do something, but you use positive motivation - it's a strategy that works much better in the long run.
Using the verb "duty" can trigger hyperemotion even when you are referring to someone else. For example, you may feel frustrated in a conversation with someone who doesn't have the reactions you expect. If you think "She should be excited about what I am communicating to her", you feel frustrated and / or saddened that the other person does not feel the emotions you think "should" feel. Remember: you cannot control the feelings and reactions of others. Try not to get entangled in situations where others expect certain actions or reactions from you.

Step 5. Recognize and counter emotional reasoning

When you resort to emotional reasoning, consider your feelings as hard facts. This type of cognitive distortion is very common, but with a little bit of effort you can learn to identify and fight it.

For example, you may have been disappointed because your boss pointed out some mistakes you made on a big project that was just delivered. If you use emotional reasoning, your negative thoughts probably lead you to think that your boss has behaved unfairly towards you. You come to this conclusion because you think you are a "loser", a worthless employee. Conclusions of this kind have no logical justification.
To counteract emotional reasoning, try to write down situations that trigger emotional reactions in you. Then write down the thoughts that come to your mind. Write down the emotions you feel as a result of these thoughts. Finally, analyze the real consequences in the specific context. Are they consistent with the scenario your emotions call "reality"? You will often find that what you hear, after all, is not actually reflected in reality.

Step 6. Recognize and counter the tendency to jump to conclusions

This is a similar mechanism to emotional reasoning. When you put it into action, you cling to a negative interpretation of the situation, without being able to count on concrete elements to support it. In extreme cases you can get to dramatize, letting your thoughts degenerate to hypothesize the most apocalyptic scenarios.

"Reading minds" is one of the possible ways of drawing hasty conclusions and is capable of provoking bouts of hyperemotion. When you seem to read someone's mind, assume that person is having a negative reaction towards you, even if there is no evidence to support this.
For example, if your partner doesn't respond to the text asking her what she wants for dinner, you may think she is deliberately ignoring you. You have no proof, but this hasty interpretation ends up making you feel hurt or even angry.
Predicting the future is another way to make hasty conclusions. It happens when you predict that things will end badly, even if you have no proof. For example, you might give up proposing a new project at work because you're already sure your boss will reject it.
The tendency to draw hasty conclusions becomes in the most extreme cases "dramatization". For example, if your partner doesn't reply to your text message, you may be convinced that she is mad at you. You might then imagine that he is avoiding you because he has something to hide from you, such as not loving you anymore. Eventually, you may come to the catastrophic conclusion that your relationship is falling apart and you will end up living alone in your parents' basement. It's a paradoxical example, but it gives a good idea of the kind of logical leap one makes when drawing hasty conclusions.
Counter the tendency to "read minds" by speaking openly and frankly with people. Don't start by making accusations or blaming them, just ask what's going on. For example, you could send your partner a text message like this: "Hey, is something going on that you want to tell me about?" If she says no, take her at her word.
Counteract the tendency to read minds and to dramatize by checking if there is a logical match for each of your individual mental steps. Is there any past experience that can support your conjectures? Does the contingent situation offer effective feedback that can support your thesis? Often, if you take the time to retrace your reaction step by step, you can run into a completely inconsistent logical leap. With practice you will become better at intercepting these misleading logical leaps.

Part 3 of 3: Take Action

Step 1. Meditate

Meditation, especially Mindfulness, can help you manage your reactions to emotions. It can even help you improve your mental responsiveness to stressful stimuli. Mindfulness, or "awareness", is based on the recognition and acceptance of emotions as they arise, without judging them. This is very helpful in overcoming hypermotivity. You can take a course, use a guided meditation as a support, which you can also easily find online, or learn to practice mindfulness on your own.

Find a quiet place where there is no one to interrupt or distract you. Sit on the floor or in a straight-backed chair, assuming an upright posture. Do not stay spaced out, because this makes it difficult to breathe correctly.
Start by focusing on a single element of your breath, such as the sensation of your chest rising and falling or the sound of air coming in and out. Focus on this element for a few minutes, taking large, deep breaths.
Broaden the field to include other senses. For example, focus on anything that affects your hearing, smell or touch. Keeping your eyes closed can help, as what we see tends to distract us easily.
Accept the thoughts and feelings that come, but don't judge them as "good" or "bad". It may be useful to consciously acknowledge them when they arise, especially at the beginning: "I feel a cold sensation in my toes. I am thinking about the fact that I am getting distracted".
If you feel that you are distracting yourself, bring your focus back to your breath. Meditate every day for about 15 minutes.
You can find guided Mindfulness meditations on various sites, including Zeninthecity and Psicologianeurolinguistica.net, or in English on the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center website and on BuddhaNet.

Step 2. Learn to use assertive communication techniques

Sometimes you become hypersensitive because you are unable to communicate your needs or feelings clearly. If your way of communicating is too passive, you find it hard to say "no", you can't express clearly and sincerely what you think and what you feel. Learning to communicate assertively will help you to better express your needs and feelings; this will give you the opportunity to feel listened to and appreciated.

To communicate your feelings, use the pronoun "I", such as "When you were late for our date I was upset" or "If I have an appointment I prefer to go out early, because I am always afraid of being late". In this way you will not give the impression of blaming the interlocutor, but you will focus attention on your emotions.
In a conversation, ask for confirmation often. Especially if it's a strong emotional conversation, asking questions to make sure you understand will help keep you from overreacting. For example, when the interlocutor has finished speaking, ask him: "So, what you are telling me is that… Right?". Then give the interlocutor a chance to further clarify his or her point of view.
Avoid "categorical imperatives". Words such as "you must" or "should" imply a moral judgment on the behavior of others and can give the impression that you are blaming them or that you are demanding something from them. Try using phrases like "I would rather…" or "I wish you…" instead. For example, instead of saying "You should remember to take out the trash", try saying "I wish you would remember to take out the trash - when you forget it, I feel like the responsibility for this task is all on my shoulders".
Clear the guesswork out. Don't assume you understand what's going on. Instead, invite others to share their views and experiences. Use phrases like "What do you think?" or "Do you have any advice?".
Realize that other people's experiences may differ from yours. Arguing about who is "right" in a given situation can overwhelm you and make you angry. When it comes to emotions, which are the most subjective thing there is, no one is wrong and no one is right. Use phrases like "I have a different experience about it", don't reject the emotions of others a priori and leave room for their experiences as well.

Step 3. Before acting, recover your calm and clarity

Your emotions can influence your reactions. Acting under the influence of emotions risks pushing you to do things you may regret in the future. Before reacting to a situation that triggers a heavy emotional response, give yourself a break, even if it is just a few minutes.

Ask yourself: "If I do this, what happens?", "If I do this now, what will the consequences be?" Review all the possible consequences of your hypothetical action. Then put them on the scale.
For example, you just had a heated argument with your wife (or husband). You are so angry that you feel willing to even ask for a divorce. Take a break and ask yourself the question: "If I do this, what happens?". If you file for divorce, what happens? Your wife (or husband) may feel hurt or think you don't love her. He may remember it later, when you are already at peace, and take it as proof that when you get angry you become irresponsible. He may also get angry and accept your divorce proposal. Are you ready to accept these consequences?

Step 4. Be tolerant and understanding of yourself and others

Because of your hypersensitivity, you may find yourself avoiding potentially stressful or unpleasant situations. You may consider any mistakes you make in a relationship harmful; as a result, you may decide not to have any relationships or to have only superficial ones. Be tolerant and understanding of others (and yourself). Try to see the best in people, especially those around you. If someone has hurt your feelings, don't assume they did it on purpose - instead show understanding, because anyone can make mistakes, even your friends or loved one.

If you feel hurt, use assertive communication to express how you feel about the person you love. He may not even be aware that he has hurt you; by the way, if she really loves you, she is probably interested in figuring out how to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Don't criticize others. For example, if your friend forgot about a lunch date with you and you were upset, don't start by saying, "You forgot about me: you offended my feelings." Instead, tell him, "I was upset when you forgot about our lunch date, because your friendship is important to me." Then follow up with an invitation to share his mood and experiences: "Is something wrong? Do you want us to talk about it?".
Remember that others aren't always in the mood to talk about their emotions or experiences, especially if the relationship is just starting. If the person you love right now doesn't feel like talking about it, don't take it personally. It doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong - he may just need some time to process his feelings.
Behave with yourself as you would behave with a friend you love and care about. If you would never allow yourself to say anything offensive or that sounds like a scolding to a friend, why would you do it to yourself?

Step 5. See a therapist if needed

Sometimes it happens that you try your best to manage your emotions, but you continue to feel overwhelmed by them. Working with a good psychotherapist can help you explore your feelings and reactions in a safe and welcoming environment. A qualified therapist can help you identify other harmful thought processes and can teach you new strategies for managing your feelings in a healthy way.

Sensitive people may need additional assistance in learning to manage negative emotions and strategies for coping with high-risk emotional situations. It's not necessarily a symptom of mental distress - it's just about acquiring skills to relate better to the rest of the world.
Even "normal" people turn to psychotherapists. You don't have to be "mentally ill" or a severely disturbed person to benefit from psychological treatment. Whoever offers it is simply a healthcare professional, just like a dental hygienist, an ophthalmologist or a physiotherapist. Even if the figure of the psychotherapist continues to be surrounded by a cultural taboo (as opposed to specialists who treat arthritis, sprains or dental caries, for example), there are many people who benefit from psychological treatment.
There are also those who think that it is worthwhile to "swallow the toad", to fend for oneself and be strengthened by oneself. This theory is actually very dangerous. While it is right to try hard to work on your emotions alone, it is also legitimate to get help from someone. Managing the emotions induced by diseases such as depression, generalized anxiety disorder or bipolar disorder and pretending to cure oneself is a practically impossible undertaking. Going to a specialist is by no means a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it shows that you care about your health.
Many mental health practitioners are not licensed to prescribe drugs. However, a qualified practitioner understands if it is appropriate to refer you to a specialist or a doctor who can diagnose a serious disorder (such as depression or generalized anxiety disorder) and to prescribe the appropriate medications.

Step 6. Hypersensitivity can also be a symptom of depression or another disorder

Some people, on the other hand, are hypersensitive from birth: it is evident from early childhood. In this case, it is not a disorder, a mental illness or something "wrong": it is simply a character trait. If, on the other hand, a person goes from an average level to an excessive level of sensitivity, to become "touchy", "easy to be moved", "irritable" and so on, it can be a sign that something is wrong..

Sometimes hypersensitivity is an effect of depression and subjects the person to a real bombardment of emotions (both negative and positive).
Hyperemotion can also be caused by hormonal imbalances. For example, a pregnant woman can react very emotionally. The same goes for a boy who is going through puberty, or for a person with thyroid problems. There are drugs and medical treatments that cause emotional changes.
A qualified doctor should be able to diagnose any depression. Self-diagnosis is easily achievable, but it is always better to turn to professionals who are able to understand if a person is depressed or if his hypersensitivity is determined by other factors.

Step 7. Be patient

Emotional growth is like biological growth: it takes time and can cause discomfort while it occurs. You will learn from the inevitable mistakes, which are themselves necessary for the growth process. Failures and difficulties are also needed.

Being hypersensitive is even more difficult for a young person. As you grow up, you will learn to manage your feelings more mature and acquire valuable skills that will help you cope with life.
Remember that you must know a situation well before facing it, otherwise it is like venturing into a land that you do not know, after having only a quick glance at the map: you do not have enough information on the territory to cross it without risking getting lost. Explore the map of your mind: you will have a greater understanding of your emotions and you will better understand how to manage them.

Advice

Indulgence and understanding towards yourself, with all your imperfections, erases the shame and increases empathy towards others.
Don't feel like you have to explain your concerns to everyone to justify your behavior and emotions. It's fine even if you keep them to yourself.
Counteract negative thoughts. An internal dialogue marked by negativity can be deleterious. When you feel that you are becoming hypercritical of yourself, think, "How would someone else feel if I told him?".
The factors that trigger an emotional reaction are by nature subjective. Even if there is someone who shares the same emotional triggers with you in the same context, the ways in which they act can be different. This is a coincidence, not a universal principle.