Whether you have an obsession with a certain person or video games, or just can't control obsessive thoughts (and we'll see all three), it's not a good feeling to realize that something is taking over your life. However, most obsessions go in periods - once you decide to do something, it's just a matter of time until the mind is occupied with other thoughts, distractions and pleasures. If you are ready to free yourself and not be managed by the little things, now is the time to start!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Getting rid of an Obsession for Someone
Step 1. Limit how often you contact this person
If you've been labeled clingy or obsessive, you probably need to prepare to put a stop to this attitude. The easiest way to regain your freedom and be thoughtless is to focus on your things. Sure, you can contact that person once in a while, but make sure to keep yourself busy having fun so that you aren't constantly around him.
This applies to phone calls, text messages, Facebook posts and even Twitter tweets. Stop communicating for a while to make it clear that your life goes on even without her
Step 2. Meet her only occasionally
If you keep "accidentally running into" this person, they probably know what's going on. You think you're smart, but waiting outside the kids' bathroom is anything but discreet. Do your best not to see it. If you meet her out of the blue, it will really be a coincidence!
You may need to change your habits, if only to make things easier for you. If you take the same route to school or work, change your path. Do you go to the same places? Go at different times. It will be difficult at first, but eventually you will get used to the new routine
Step 3. Write your thoughts on paper
Sometimes reflecting is not enough, if we really want to clarify our thoughts. We have to see them concretely in front of us and understand how ridiculous they are. So, write down what you think in detail on a sheet of paper. Then, crumple it up and throw it away. This gesture will help your mind do the same with your thoughts.
After reading: "Anna is a unique snowflake. Floats like she is on a cloud. I love her as I have never loved anyone before and as I will never love anyone. I think of her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I sleep with her in my mind, I wake up with her in my mind, and the moments I spend without her are a pain ", it will be a little easier to understand that those thoughts must and can be controlled
Step 4. Laugh at yourself
If you seriously observe your thoughts (especially by examining them, as suggested in the previous step), it will be easier to laugh at yourself and see that your obsession is rather stupid. Is Anna a unique snowflake? Sure, and unicorns sleep downstairs too. Take it easy! Have a laugh and see how all this makes no sense. Once you have analyzed your thoughts, you will understand how to become a little more objective.
We all have strange habits and for now you are in this situation. If a friend tells you he met a girl who he thinks is a snowflake, no doubt you'd have a laugh. So, do it with yourself too. You will feel better about the whole situation too
Step 5. Stop the obsessive thoughts when they start invading your mind
Sometimes it is as if we and our mind are one, even if we don't - after all, you can control your thoughts and agree or disagree. When the thought of this person comes, then tell yourself "no", a plain and simple "no". Refuse to do this.
It may be useful to stop for a moment. When you find yourself thinking about this person, immediately focus on something different in order to distract your mind. Eventually, you will forget about that obsession
Step 6. Find a friend to talk about your obsession
This is useful for a couple of reasons: hearing you speak out loud about your obsessions may help you see them from a different perspective, and also knowing that you have someone to lean on will definitely make you feel better.
Your friends will help you see your behavior from another perspective. They will pinpoint the things you can't see and give you another point of view from which to consider the situation
Step 7. Keep yourself and your mind busy
We all go through times when we are so busy that we literally forget about what was bothering us. The same goes for obsessions. If your mind is so busy with something else, the obsession will no longer creep into your thoughts. You won't have time to think about it anymore.
Do you need some excuse to finally cultivate that hobby you think you're so good at? The moment has come! Whether it's playing guitar or bowling, do it! The busier you are, the less available you will be and your mind will also be less obsessed
Method 2 of 3: Getting rid of obsessive thoughts
Step 1. Identify your thoughts
If you are unsure of what you are looking for, taking control of your thoughts and the resulting behavior is terribly difficult. Do you constantly feel guilty when things go wrong? Are you obsessed with your appearance? Are you constantly worried about how you will get out of a situation? Once you have identified your thoughts, you can begin to take control of them.
Also think about where the thoughts come from. You can't get rid of a tree by just cutting the branches, you know? If you get to the root of the problem, you will be able to wrest the obsession from its source
Step 2. Pause obsessive thoughts
It is very difficult to stop negative thoughts, especially when traveling at 100 km / h. Instead of asking the mind to suddenly stop what it thinks, just put those thoughts in the background. Tell yourself: "I'll think about it tonight after work" or "I'll take care of it for a quarter of an hour every night, but that's all". Thanks to this "compromise" your mind will be able to relax.
You may find that when it comes time to think about that obsession, you won't need it anymore. After work, you will be busy with friends or watching a movie, and you won't even think about that obsession. It will be a victory every day you spend not getting eaten by her
Step 3. Take responsibility for what you think
The beauty of all this is that it is up to you and therefore you can get rid of it! These obsessive thoughts are yours and it is only up to you to kill the dragon of obsession. Once you recognize that you are in control of your thoughts, your mind will begin to do the same.
Remember this is a win-win thing for you! If someone else had this burden, you would have no power. So, since it is your responsibility, it is time to start taking your steps towards mental freedom
Step 4. Imagine the worst
It seems a bit contradictory, but think this way: when you imagine the worst, reality can only be better. Are you worried about your look at tonight's party? Imagine walking covered in feathers, sequins and stuffed animals, without having showered or shaved in weeks. All of a sudden you will realize that you look great!
Make sure you use this thinking strategy when going through an obsession if you don't want to get into the habit of thinking negatively. This should help calm you down especially when you feel like you're on the verge of breaking down
Step 5. Get motivated by negative thoughts
The only way we can change ourselves is to have the right motivation to do so. And the only times we have the motivation to change is when we're unhappy about something. A sad thought only tells you this: there is something your mind wants to change. So you draw from these feelings the energy needed to change! They might be just what you need to improve.
Let's say you constantly scold yourself for your weight. Turn this thought into something positive. Look for the right motivation to go to the gym or follow a diet. Take note of the changes you may be making to get rid of these thoughts
Step 6. Seek support from a friend
Whether it's an obsession with someone, something or ourselves, we all need an ear to listen to us and a shoulder to cry on, otherwise we feel like we're fighting the battle alone. To lighten the load, talk to a friend or family member you can trust so you can get on the right track.
- Talk honestly with your friends about how you feel. So that they can get a real picture of what you are going through, don't hide. You will likely feel vulnerable, but once you say it like it is, it will feel like you've lifted a weight off your shoulders.
- When your thoughts get out of your control, contact your support system. Friendly people will keep you busy, making you think positively, since it can be difficult to do it alone. However, they can only help you if they know what's happening to you!
Method 3 of 3: Getting rid of obsessive habits
Step 1. Schedule time for obsession
Obsessions are hard to let go. In fact, they are kind of an addiction. Instead of letting an obsessive habit penetrate every aspect of your life, tell yourself that you can only dedicate yourself to it at certain times of the day, as if it were a reward, or whenever you foresee it. Put it aside, agree with yourself that you will deal with it later. When the time comes, you may have forgotten about it.
When you have a particularly strong desire, you can tell yourself that you will satisfy it at 8pm, for example, or after school. The mind will calm down, because it is certain that it will get what it wants later, without giving in to obsession
Step 2. Keep busy
If you commit your body and mind to something different, you won't have time to indulge in your obsession. To keep her at bay, keep busy by hanging out with friends and cultivating hobbies.
The good thing about this kind of obsession is that it can be totally motivating. Think of it as a diet: to abstain from chocolate, you end up eating everything else you find in the house. Only in this case, instead of giving in, do whatever comes to your mind. Staying away from an obsession can make you incredibly productive
Step 3. Hang out with friends who have different values
Whether it's an obsession with video games, marijuana or something, chances are your friends will let you keep it. To curb desire, you need an environment in which desire does not arise, an environment in which others are not inclined to devote themselves to what haunts you. Therefore, try to date people who have nothing to do with what haunts you and that you are trying to eliminate.
Are your friends also obsessed with the same thing? Then, you can rely on family. Take advantage of this opportunity to renew your relationships with those you've recently estranged. You could rediscover people you had put aside and improve yourself
Step 4. Think about how your obsession is affecting your life
Any obsession, no matter how it looks, is harmful if it negatively affects your life. Did it lead you to break off relationships? Did it hinder your productivity? Does it affect the workplace? If so, it can be a good reason to discard it. If that happens to someone you love, what would you tell them?
Often becoming aware of one's obsessions is the most difficult battle. And doing some introspective analysis can be of great help. Once you understand what your problem really is and where it comes from, you can act accordingly
Step 5. Realize that you are in control
Your thoughts belong to you. If you make the decision to end your obsessions, you can do it. Get rid of the little things. You don't need anything. It's just that right now your mind is convinced they are needed. It's your job to convince her otherwise.
This is a very, very beneficial thing. Since you are in charge of the situation, you make the decisions. You will be able to do this when you are ready to clear your mind. By taking responsibility for thinking positively, you won't be giving any chance to the things that haunt you
Step 6. Get weaned
Suddenly breaking free from an obsession is a difficult task. Instead of hoping to move mountains, it progresses little by little. For example, sacrifice an hour to your obsession today. Tomorrow, 45 minutes. The next day, 30 minutes, and so on.
