Life changes can upset you and make you feel insecure about what you need to do. Whether it's a financial problem, someone's missing or a divorce, it's not always easy to figure out what the next step is. However, there are some ways to reduce stress, even at times when life takes an unexpected turn.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Changing Mindsets
Step 1. Become aware of your emotions
Sometimes you just want to ignore the most painful situations or pretend they never happened. In these cases, keep in mind that by setting aside your feelings, you are only feeding the most negative emotions. It is best to accept and process how much you are feeling. Don't try to rationalize it: the only way to understand it is to hear it.
- For example, if you've lost your job, it's okay to admit that you feel angry, upset, afraid, and full of grudge.
- Spend 15 minutes a day on your emotions. Don't let your rational side intervene, but sit back and listen to what you are feeling.
- You can write down your thoughts and your mood in a diary.
- Don't be afraid to cry. By crying, you free the body of negative chemicals and you can also relieve stress, improve mood and manage the pain caused by the circumstances.
Step 2. Change your way of thinking
Try to see the situation as an opportunity to grow and improve. For example, remember how strong and tenacious you are in the most difficult times. It is much more encouraging to look at things from this point of view.
- For example, the world does not fall if you fail to pass the entrance tests at the university you so desire to attend, nor will you lose the opportunity to make a career. Remember that you always have a choice and that every situation has its positive side.
- Try to scale things down. Try asking yourself, "If I look at the situation as a whole, is this really that worrying?" If you are afraid that something might happen in the future, ask yourself, "What are the chances of it happening?"
- If any thoughts haunt you, try to devote some time to your concerns. Every morning you decide at what time of day you will be able to give fifteen minutes to your problems. If these thoughts do not give you respite outside the established time, remember that the time has not yet come.
Step 3. Address the gap between reality and your desires
Often life only offers you one chance when you would like to have other opportunities. The greater the distance between what you have and what you want, the greater the feeling of bitterness you may experience. Recognize that reality is not what you dreamed of and accept it for what it is.
Instead of getting nervous, you go out of your way to adapt to your situation. For example, if you don't have a lot of money, don't keep spending money like you used to. Accept that the way you use money may necessarily change
Step 4. Get used to accepting the circumstances
Many aspects of life are beyond our control, from city traffic to the bad mood of the employer. In these situations, instead of getting nervous and losing your temper, take a breath and accept everything you can't master. Even if you don't have the ability to control a situation, you can always manage the way you react.
To accept the reality of things, try to meditate. Make a list of all things that are beyond your control. Then close your eyes and slow your breath until you enter a state of meditation. Imagine handing this list over to a higher entity and leaving your worries behind
Step 5. Show your gratitude
If you keep an attitude of gratitude, even in the most terrible of circumstances you will have a perspective that will allow you to broaden your vision of reality and overcome the pain you are experiencing. Even if you have the impression that you are missing many things, for a moment think about everything you have and surrounds you, especially non-material things, such as friendship, health or a beautiful sunny day.
- Find time every day to think about everything you are grateful for: your dog, your children, a beautiful sunset, a pleasant walk or an important telephone conversation with your sister. Take a few seconds to express your gratitude for your surroundings.
- Remember the most difficult moments and situations you have had to face in life, then think that you have managed to overcome it all. If you've been able to hold on in the past, you can still do it now.
Step 6. Try to be resilient
The word "resilience" indicates the ability to adapt to change, whether it is momentary difficulties or permanent critical situations. Look at things as a whole and trust that you will find a solution to your problems. They will end and you will come out.
- You do not become resilient by eliminating tension, but by exposing yourself to stress and making use of the time and the right tools to recover.
- Suppose you break your leg and are unable to walk for a long time. Resilience pushes you to find ways to adapt to new situations, in this case by following physical therapy exercises to regain strength and getting used to using a wheelchair or crutches. Do not forget that you are a persistent person, despite the changes imposed by life.
- Reflect on the difficulties you have encountered in the past and all that you have gained from them. Some people develop more confidence in their abilities or come to appreciate life even more. Know that you can learn a lot from your experiences.
Step 7. Get closer to spirituality
Spirituality helps many people to cope with difficult times. There are some spiritual techniques that allow you to manage the obstacles of life: you can rely on a higher power, seek spiritual forgiveness, frame the situation with a more benevolent attitude and reflect on the more positive aspects.
Part 2 of 2: Taking Action While Maintaining Optimism
Step 1. Troubleshoot
Although it takes some time to heal many situations, it is possible to solve some problems with a little effort and careful consideration. Think about all the challenges you are facing that you might find a solution for, such as work, finances, family, friendships, your relationship, and studies. Write down all the solutions that come to your mind for each problem, regardless of whether they seem realistic or not. Just put them in black and white. You never know which solution will come in handy, so don't underestimate any idea in this moment of reflection.
- For example, if your partner always talks about your financial problems before bed at night and every time he ends up nervous about going to bed, start discussing it in the morning, so you will have enough time to investigate the matter more adequately.
- Once you understand the solutions, try to create a concrete plan to implement them. You will probably have to set specific goals and define all the steps to take to achieve them.
- To get a clearer idea of how to achieve your goals, see the article How to set goals and achieve them.
Step 2. Get help
Don't be afraid to ask for help or advice. If you feel disheartened or don't know how, there are many people willing to help you. Whether it's a family member, friend, or your therapist, it can be liberating to tell someone about the difficulties you are experiencing. Don't try to do it all by yourself. If you go on without leaning on anyone, you will only aggravate the situation and ruin your life.
- Don't let pride stop you from seeking help. Nobody can imagine what is happening to you and one day you may have the opportunity to return the favor.
- By talking about your problems, someone else may offer you a point of view that you may never have considered.
- When you seek help, communicate your needs. If you want an opinion, ask your interlocutor what he thinks about your situation. If you just want him to listen to you, tell him clearly. Sometimes, despite good intentions, he may be trying to solve a problem when you just need to let off steam.
Step 3. Prioritize your well-being
Life goes on despite the difficulties: for example, you have to take care of your children and go to work. Even if you are going through a complicated period, take care of your psychophysical well-being. It often happens that you neglect your own needs to meet those of others, but it is important to find time for your own needs as well. Therefore, try to eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep, exercise regularly and enjoy the joys of life. Find anything you like and do it.
- Indulge in some massage.
- Find time to keep a journal and express your thoughts and emotions.
- Find 20 minutes a day to meditate or take a nap.
- Walk or hike if you don't have the time or energy to hit the gym.
- Laughter relieves stress. To keep yourself in a good mood, watch some funny videos about the most embarrassing falls or animals.
- Optimism also helps. Always look for the bright side in all circumstances.
Step 4. Take a break
If you feel overwhelmed by the circumstances, give yourself a break. There are a thousand ways to break the monotony: you can take a vacation, spend a romantic weekend away from home or even take a long walk. You can also get distracted by reading a book, watching a movie or going to the gym.
Find out what distractions help you cope (not escape). Find something you like and don't hesitate to test yourself! You may want to consider hiking, horseback riding, or writing a journal
Step 5. Go to therapy
Sometimes it is helpful to speak to a mental health professional when you are having a hard time. The therapist is a figure able to support you and ask questions that will help you develop a different view of reality. It will allow you to get to the root of your problems, process the most complicated feelings and make positive changes in your life.
- Psychotherapy helps to investigate the human soul and analyze one's situation by encouraging personal growth.
- The psychotherapist is helpful in several situations. He can help you if you feel stressed at work, you have relationship problems or you can't manage yourself in the day to day.
Step 6. Make yourself useful
When you go through a crisis, you tend to focus much of your attention on yourself and what is happening to you, at the risk of exhausting yourself. So, try to carve out some time and dedicate it to others. By lending help, you will automatically turn your attention to those in need. You can be happier if you help others.
- Offer to help a friend when they run errands.
- Volunteer at an animal shelter and help out puppies who need a family.
- Volunteer once a week with children or seniors.
