Having a younger sibling can be a blessing or even a curse, it depends on how you look at life. What matters, however, is that you and your brother have a unique and exclusive bond that is free from interference and attempts at manipulation.
Steps
Step 1. Talk
Older siblings need to find something in common with their younger siblings, be it girls, sports, art, music. Most importantly, if you haven't talked to each other for a long time, it can help break the ice. Also, don't be afraid to share your thoughts on what it means to be siblings, or how important your sibling is to you.
Step 2. Spend time together
Talking is fine, but dating is an equally great experience to share. Keep in mind that you should set a specific date on which to go out, especially if you both have busy lives. Try alternating ideas of where to go and what to do, so that everyone is happy.
Step 3. Create emotional bonds
Learn how to show affection for your brother. This can motivate a sibling to associate with people he may not be able to, in an effort to feel loved and accepted. Important values that he already has, but which he still cannot prove.
Step 4. Acceptance
Many families and many cultures do not accept certain behaviors from their children, and / or from loved ones. This could simply be related to piercings, tattoos, sexual orientation / preferences, etc. Someone very wise one day said, "It is not important what we are, but who we are." Children who often have difficulty feeling accepted will seek acceptance from others, outside the family unit. As an older brother, make your brother feel accepted, at all costs.
Step 5. Keep your word
The promises a man makes are indicative of his personality. Remember that in many ways you are an example to follow for your growing brother. If you say you will do something, or that you will give him something, keep your word and promise. It may seem like a small thing, but over time it will help you build a strong and healthy bond with your sibling.
Step 6. Give advice when it's needed
Sometimes, your brother may come and ask you for some advice regarding a particular problem; the key is to be open to different possibilities that you may not have seen before. You have to listen, and think about "what it is" as opposed to "what you think it is". Speak clearly, and don't give advice that is necessarily what your brother wants to hear. Rather, if necessary, better teach him a hard lesson, with affection.
Step 7. Be friends, not just brothers
Many people think that just because you have a younger sibling, or an older one, the friendship between you should be taken for granted. This is not true, a large number of brothers do not even like each other. This does not mean that one brother does not care about the other, but perhaps that in their lives their paths have collided, and complicated events have occurred. Having a brother, a true brother, should always be a blessing. Learn to keep communication channels open and effective. Learn to be the guiding light that illuminates confusing moments. Be there for your brother, and always make sure he knows he can count on your friendship too.
Step 8. Try to smooth the corners after an argument
Any sibling relationship is bound to have a couple of fights. One important thing about arguing with a sibling is learning how to take the blame when appropriate. Another important thing is to learn to apologize, and to be able to move on. Don't get attached to something, when deep down you know you should let it go. Don't keep putting weight on something that has already happened. When it's done, it's done. The best thing to do is to apologize and not let history repeat itself. Believe it or not, sometimes the most important person in a little brother's life is the big brother, whom he looks to as an example to follow. Sometimes, refusing to ask or give forgiveness creates subconscious harm, and could lead them to mistakenly believe things like “My brother doesn't love me. Otherwise why does he keep arguing with me?”.
Step 9. Donate
Giving gifts to your siblings might seem like a right thing, but it all depends on the type of gift, as well as the meaning it represents. Gifts should have meaning, just as they should be a way for a brother to express himself. It has been proven that males tend not to express themselves emotionally for fear of being labeled. However, to have a healthy sibling relationship, part of the process is to express emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, and so on. While it's different from the process behind dating and marriage, this sharing remains an important part of relationship building. So giving a gift, for Christmas, or for birthday, is an easy way to show that you, Big Brother, have taken the time and patience to choose something your brother might have wanted or needed. Furthermore, this demonstrates a certain level of interest.
Step 10. Understand
Sometimes events occur that play an important part in changing the relationship between siblings, events that can weaken or strengthen it. For example, not keeping a promise takes you away from your brother in relating and establishing a bond. Difficult things happen sometimes. Understanding is the key. Sure, it hurts sometimes, but the point is, you need to show a good level of understanding. Love is an emotion, and while many brothers clearly love their older or younger brothers, they don't always show it or say it. It is not healthy to make positive / negative feelings stagnate in your heart, because you are unable to find an adequate way to express them. Sometimes a simple "I love you" can be the secret to making someone's day better.
Advice
- Don't be afraid to show your emotions to people, or to your brother. If your brother needs a shoulder to cry on, he should know for sure that he can rely on his brother.
- Remember that you are an example of life, so do your best to live up to this title.
- Show your brother continued interest in his life.
- Keep in touch with your sibling, especially if you don't live under the same roof, or with your parents.
Warnings
- Don't invite other people when you decide to spend time with your brother, unless you agree in some other way.
- Don't let your younger brother trample your emotions. If you have something to say, say it.
- It's okay to lend money to your brother, but make sure it doesn't become a habit, because there's a good chance you won't see that money again. The reverse may also be true when the younger brother lends money to the older brother.
- Don't go overboard with gifts and don't spoil your brother.
- Don't always pay for activities that both of you enjoy, especially when you spend time together. Try to be balanced.
- Don't try to spend time with your brother when he wants to go out with friends or a girlfriend. Nobody likes being the third wheel, so make sure you don't become one yourself.
