Admit it. You don't always have a good relationship with your daughter. She is busy on the PC, on the phone, with friends or doing school homework. When you try to talk to her, she doesn't listen or just walks out of the room. She thinks you are annoying and you don't know how to change this.
You're busy too, with work, family, financial problems, and more. Do you reflect yourself in any of these situations? If the answer is yes, it is necessary to improve the mother-daughter relationship and your bond as a whole.
It might seem complicated, but after a while, you will realize that it is not as difficult as you thought. After all, it's about your daughter. But if you still don't know how to have fun with her and find commonalities, don't worry. Read this article and you will have all the help you need.
Steps
Step 1. Make time to spend with her
Try to find spaces to do things with your daughter. Choose a specific day of the week or a time of day when both of you are free, such as Sunday or Thursday evenings. It is good to always do it on the same day and at the same time so that you remember the special moment to spend together and make yourself free. Summer is the ideal time to do things together because your daughter will most likely not have school commitments. If you still work in the summer, try to find time to spend with your daughter on the weekends. Aim to spend at least an hour or two a day with her. Choose a time when you are both free. Ask her "Would you like to do something _ evening?" or ask her when she is free, be sure you will find some time. Your daughter will most likely be busy with homework on week nights. Keep your schedule and find another time to spend together.
Step 2. Find out what your daughter likes
Knowing which activities she prefers will be of great help when you are spending time together, because you will know what to do and where to go. Sometimes, but not too often, observe her to see what she is doing. He could be in front of the computer, watching TV, drawing, reading or playing outdoors. Look more closely at what she is doing to get more clues as to what she likes. If she is reading, ask her what the book is about, if she is watching TV, ask her what she is watching, and if she is in front of the computer or outside, ask her how she is playing. You will have a greater feeling and she will be happy that you care about what she does. Her interests will certainly be different from yours, but don't try to change what she likes or dislikes.
Try to be more interested in your daughter's passions and do things related to them. If you enjoy reading, for example, read together at home or spend an afternoon in the library. If you like soccer, play a game in the yard or in the park. If you like to paint or draw, take her to an art gallery
Step 3. Go shopping together
If there is one thing that strengthens the relationship between women, it is shopping. You will have the opportunity to talk to her and find out more about her interests while shopping. Take it with you to the grocery store to help you choose what to prepare for dinner. Have her put some items she likes in the cart and let her help you decide which drinks to buy. If your daughter loves reading, go to the bookstore and look for some books together. Or, go to a mall to find shoes and clothes. You could also ask her for advice on clothes for you. She will surely enjoy being your "fashion consultant", especially if she is attracted to this world. You can also go to a toy store if your daughter is younger.
Let him follow his style. When shopping for clothes, shoes, books, or anything else, especially with a teenage daughter, allow her to take what she likes. She is just trying to express herself and be herself. You could always ask her "Do you like this?", But don't force her to buy or wear something she doesn't really like. Shop at a store she loves so she's more likely to find something she likes
Step 4. Exit
If you don't want to go shopping, there are still plenty of options. Some are the swimming pool, the park, the beach, the restaurant, the museum or the amusement park. Now that you know your daughter's interests, you may be starting to guess where she might want to go. Take her to her favorite team's game, or to the fine art store if she's a creative. Another important factor is time. Check out the weather forecast online, on TV, or in the newspaper. Reserve outdoor activities, such as visits to theme parks or the swimming pool, for sunny days. If it's winter, go to a bar for a hot chocolate or make a snow man. You can always stay in the yard playing with your daughter, regardless of the weather. Build a snow fort, have a snowball fight, make snow angels or make a snow man. If your daughter loves sports, go skiing, sledding, or snowboarding. And don't fret if it rains. You will go to the cinema, to the restaurant, to an indoor pool, to the library, to the museum, to any place indoors.
Step 5. Watch yourself a good old movie
This is a perfect activity if it's raining outside. Watching movies can bring you closer. Take a look at your movies together and find one you both want to see. Make sure it's appropriate for her age! Funny family movies are good for all ages and will make you laugh. If you don't have any interesting movies at home, go see one at the cinema. Another great choice is to watch TV. You can find a TV show that both of you would like and take the time to watch it. They will most likely give it at the same time every day, which will be good for organizing your schedules. If neither of you is home at that time, record the TV show.
Step 6. Help her with her homework
As a mother, it is important that you support her in education. Always help her with her homework when she asks you. Don't tell her the solution, help her. For example, if you are having difficulty with a math problem, don't just say "32". You should say "You must _" as you take her to reflect. Do the steps with her (say, for example, "After you multiply. How much is 9 x 13?"), So next time she knows what to do. Try to help her even if she doesn't ask, but you have a hint that she needs help. If she has been doing her homework for too long, tell her that if she needs help you are willing to help her. Same if your daughter gets a low grade on an assignment.
- Make studying fun. Turn a grammar test into a gamble. Or have her play the role of teacher.
- Study with her. There may be an important task, so it is your duty to help her. She will probably tell you what to do.
Step 7. Play a game
Another way to interact with your daughter is through a game. Play a game on the evening of a particular day, or just ask her if she would like to play. Some board games might be Sorry, Monopoly, Scarab, Ladders, and Snakes, but you could play any game. Card games are also fun. Play Doubt, War or UNO if you have a deck of cards.
Step 8. Cook something together
Another fun way for both of you to bond is to cook. It's also the perfect way to teach her how to cook if she's older. Grab some cookbooks and take a look at them to see what to prepare. You can make cookies, a cake or any dessert. You could also prepare bread or focaccia, toast, soup, stew or even your favorite ice cream!
Remember that you are cooking together. Allow her to do some things, such as breaking eggs, mixing the batter, pouring the liquids, and decorating. Don't expect the results to be perfect - children learn this way. However, do not let her use the oven until you think she is responsible and mature enough (and vice versa do not pamper her for life - children should be able to stay in the kitchen around the age of 11-12)
Step 9. Show her your love
Of course, your daughter already knows you love her, but can you prove it to her? While playing a game or watching TV means spending time together, is it truly a special time? You may not know how to do it, but it's the small gestures that matter. Go for a nice walk, chat and enjoy nature. Cheer her up on a bad day with a hug or a treat, like a book or a stuffed animal. Often say encouraging phrases such as "You can do it", or "You are a talented artist / swimmer / soccer player!". Make sure you appreciate her efforts, first of all because it's important to let her know that if she tries and tries again, even if she faces defeat, she will be successful. Thanks to your support, he will have a positive attitude towards life. Laugh and smile with her.
Step 10. Talk
It is important for your daughter to know that she can always reach out to you when she needs something. When you talk to her make sure you look at her and that she does the same. Say "I want you to listen to me", but in a calm and friendly way. Try to be concise, otherwise your daughter would get bored and think she is in trouble, or be judged. Leave the main point for the first sentence, and don't use confusing or halfway words. Occasionally you should also speak casually. When you talk, don't be too serious. Ask her about the school, for example "How is school going?" or "How did school go today?", but you should go even deeper. Talk about the future, about sports and hobbies.
Step 11. Listen
Not only should your daughter listen to you, but you should also give her your full attention. If you don't, he'll think it's okay not to pay attention - also know that children notice when their parents aren't listening and it's an unpleasant, depressed feeling. To listen, stop what you are doing and watch it. Maintain eye contact and ask questions to show that you are listening. Also paraphrase what he says to you, for example "So are you saying_" or "Do you mean that _?" to clarify what your daughter just told you.
Listen to what he wants to do. For example, if your daughter wants to go to the movies, don't answer with a sharp "No". See what you can do; watch upcoming movies, or ask her which movie she wants to see. You may want to not do it but every now and then you have to let yourself be convinced
Step 12. Always be there for your daughter
You must always be present, whether physically at an important occasion, or with words of encouragement. If there is a sporting, musical, school event or any other event in which your daughter wants your presence, do everything you can to go there. Try to cancel anything scheduled for that day, but if unfortunately you can't be physically present, there are other ways to be present.
- Offer your help. If you notice that she is trying to do something, in school, in sports, in playing an instrument, help her. Listen to her play the flute, contact the teacher or help her with her homework, or play basketball with her.
- Be encouraging. It may be difficult for her to do something, so you have to compliment her, use words and actions of encouragement, such as "Good job" when you really think so, or by giving her a book with a dedication like "Make progress".
- Compliment her like "That's a nice shirt" or "I like the way you set up your room."
Step 13. Highlight your daughter's talents
This is another form of encouragement, and when you recognize her talent, you will make her very happy. Ask her if she would like to act in a play, play solo or play football in school or outside (but don't be insistent) and she might accept. See if you can get her to take a class or get her into a team. Another thing to do is to practice your business somewhere else. Have a concert at home, get taught some dance moves. It will make her feel important, you will learn something new and you will be more connected.
Step 14. Be nice to him
This may seem obvious, but your kindness has a strong impact on your relationship. Don't yell at her when things don't go your way. Stay calm when you explain to her that she did something you don't like and you don't want her to do it again. Try to say "I wish you would" or "Please do this" instead of "Do this" or "Do it now". She will most likely do what you tell her if you ask her politely. Also give a reason, don't just say " Because I say so. "She will become more responsible if she realizes the dangers, social pressures or downsides of some bad choices. Also, hug her and kiss her before going to bed or in the morning before you leave - always let yourself go. a positive note.
Respect it. She is a person, and you have to remember that. There may be some things about your daughter that you don't share or can't understand, but you still have to respect her; has every right to have his own opinions
Step 15. Trust your daughter
It might be complicated, but you have to be confident. The reason you may not trust her is because she lies often. This can happen because you lie. She'll think it's okay to lie if you do too, so it's time to become a good example for her (and everyone else). Be honest, keep your promises. However, if there is something wrong, tell her and explain the reason, because she is probably wondering. When you see your daughter doing something positive, like homework or playing music, you will be able to have more confidence in her.
Share your feelings. Tell your daughter that she can always reach out to you when she needs it and that she should tell you everything. But you should also share your emotions with her. Tell her how you really feel and sometimes you might ask her for advice
Advice
- Don't be afraid to just say "I love you".
- Remember that your daughter has her own personality. She is free to do and say what she wants, so don't force her to do anything. When shopping, let her choose her clothes. If you like a purple shirt, but she prefers it orange, buy her orange one
- Be positive when shopping. Your daughter takes your opinion into consideration, so be positive. Tell her "Blue looks so good on you, why don't we get it in blue?" Instead of "Red doesn't look good on you at all." You should be honest, but also nice.
- Set a budget. You may tend to spend more than you should on your daughter, but everyone has to stick to a budget. However, it is easy to find good deals, wait for the sales period.
- Try to be a role model. Your daughter will want to be like her mother, so it's important that you set a good example. Be friendly, if you want her to be friendly, and if you want her to read more, you should too.
- Do a chore together. You could make some fabric flowers, a scrapbook, anything! If your daughter knows how to do something, have her be the "teacher" who tells you how to do it.
- Even small daily gestures count. There is no need to design anything special. Giggling together may also be a moment you will both remember.
- Take your daughter to where you work. He'd have a great day sharing your typical working day, and you might even get close.
Warnings
- Give her some free time. Don't be on her. Give her her spaces, some time for herself. It's nice to observe her once in a while, but she might get annoyed if it happens more often.
- Don't be stingy. As we said earlier, you should be a smart buyer, but not stingy. Find the right balance between spending too much and spending too little.
- Don't always satisfy her. It might be difficult, but she has to learn that you can't buy her everything right away. Some things he will have to earn. Have her set aside pocket money to buy something from time to time. He will learn to be responsible.
- Don't let your daughter use the stove when you're not in the kitchen. Children aged 9 to 15 will only need an adult to supervise them, but in the case of children aged 4 to 8 you will need to be in contact with the stove. If she asks why an adult is needed, tell her she might get burned. If a little girl tells you she wants to do it alone, say, "No, you could hurt yourself a lot, love." This explanation is easily understood by the little ones.
