It's easy to get stuck in daily habits and not knowing where to start, even if you want to move forward in life. However, before any momentum it is necessary to know which behaviors to adopt and which ones to correct. Once you understand this, you can start taking some steps forward to improve your tomorrow.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part One: What to Stop Doing
Step 1. Forget about past failures and pains
Regret, guilt, and fixed thoughts about unhappy past events can keep you from moving forward into the present and into the future. Remember that you no longer have any power over what happened, but you can prevent the past from controlling you.
- Think about mistakes you've made in the past that you don't want to repeat. Draw all the lessons you can from these mistakes, and get rid of the fears that hover around these mistakes. For example, a child may get burned by touching a red-hot stove and thereby learns not to touch it again, but that experience does not necessarily prevent him from touching and exploring other parts of the world.
- Past interactions with people can create a grudge against them, but this feeling also drains energy and resources and ultimately holds you back from moving forward.
Step 2. Don't give control of your life to other people
Your life belongs to you. Others can warn and advise you. Some of their tips may be helpful, while others are harmful. Regardless of this, you need to make decisions based on your own wishes and ideas, without worrying about what others expect of you.
- Keep in mind that even the people closest to you have a limited understanding of who you really are.
- When pursuing a goal, some may criticize you if they don't think it's important. For example, you have a passion that probably doesn't make you a lot of money, so anyone who considers money a top priority will likely see it as a waste of time. Remember that your values and those of others don't always coincide, so orienting your life around someone else's values won't give you any satisfaction.
Step 3. Decide to get rid of indecision
Not choosing is a choice in itself. Train yourself to be a more resolute person. If you cling to your indecision, you will continue to doubt yourself in the most important moments.
Step 4. Stop postponing right away
Right now. You have an infinite number of "tomorrows" to face, and telling yourself that you will start doing something "tomorrow" can immediately become a habit. Stop putting things off and get to work immediately.
Think of it this way: you may go in the wrong direction, but the sooner you take it, the sooner you can learn from mistakes and get back on track. Postponing your trip will only reduce your opportunities in the future
Step 5. Stop running away
Inevitably, problems and issues arise along the way, and you won't be able to avoid them forever. The more time you waste running away, the less time you have to keep going.
For example, if there is a misunderstanding or tension between you and another person, try to settle the situation by arguing with them. The relationship could break up later, but it could also get stronger. Either way, the problem will only keep embittering you until you decide to take care of it
Step 6. Make no excuses
Sure, there are obstacles - often real - that can prevent you from reaching a particular goal or realizing an idea, but often what you consider to be an obstacle can be overcome with a little effort. If there is a difficulty that you can overcome, don't make excuses by telling yourself that that problem forbids you from moving forward. It is these kinds of excuses that you need to stop looking for.
Step 7. Get rid of the need to explain everything
Things often happen for no real reason or sense. Looking for an explanation is natural, but sticking to this thought can actually block you, causing you to refuse to act if you don't have a plausible explanation.
Step 8. Understand and let go of your fears
Everyone has their own fears and anxieties. Be honest with yourself when you need to identify the fears holding you back. Once you know what they are, commit to letting them go.
- Sentimental anxieties are a great fear, especially for those who have already suffered from them. Realize that things can work out with another person, even if they haven't worked out right in the past.
- Another anxiety that plagues many people is the fear of the unknown. Change is frightening, because it can be good as well as bad. To avoid possible problems that could be around the corner, however, we are forced to face the current ones, which certainly already exist and which prevent us from benefiting from what is good.
- Some people also fear success, especially if they don't like being the center of attention. Realize, though: the way you stand out isn't worth impressing people who treat you badly.
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: What to Begin
Step 1. Accept imperfection
Nobody's perfect. Mistakes are a part of life and you will continue to make them regardless of what you do or don't do. The sooner you accept that you are not perfect, the faster you can start acting despite this.
Step 2. Look at the positives and appreciate the present
It can be all too easy to focus on all the negative things in life. Instead of thinking about all that is wrong, take a look at all that is right and good. Life is often better than it is believed to be.
- Think about the things you are lucky enough to have and try to be grateful for it. Instead of complaining that you can't afford to take an exciting vacation or buy a high-performance car, think about the support you get from your family and friends or the simple pleasures you can enjoy from where you live.
- You should also recognize the good in the things you give up. For example, you might give up on a career that seemed unhappy to you, but you also recognize that that profession gave you a comfortable life, which in itself is something to be grateful for.
Step 3. Focus on the future
Learn from the past, appreciate the present and focus on the future. By thinking about the life you want in advance, you will have a goal to achieve and you will have a boost to move forward.
- However, also try not to waste too much time worrying about the future. Plan carefully what you can, giving structure to your dreams, but don't get too busy with the small details. It is not possible to control or predict everything.
- Focus on a particular goal and aim high. A specific goal gives you something to strive for, but too many goals can disperse your energies in many different directions. Since you will only be focusing on one goal at a time, it is even more important to set the goals you intend to achieve and make the most of your skills.
Step 4. Believe in yourself
Be confident and courageous. Think about the person you want to become and reassure yourself that you already have the basic skills you need to become that person.
By thinking "as if", you will immediately be the person you want to become, because your behaviors and your mind will naturally begin to align with what you need to actually become that person
Step 5. Be indulgent with yourself
Try not to be too hard on yourself when you are having a hard time. For many people it is difficult to move forward, and often one or two steps backwards are forced. Have some understanding about your weaknesses, but encourage yourself to think that these shortcomings don't define who you are.
Console yourself with the things you prefer. When life changes threaten your peace of mind, dedicate yourself to what you love to do by giving yourself a break. Watch your favorite movies, eat what you like best or visit a place you love
Step 6. Cultivate relationships with others
If you surround yourself with positive people, it will be easier to maintain a positive attitude. Avoid making a drama as much as possible and cultivate the relationships that give you the most strength.
- Be reasonable in interpersonal relationships and don't expect others to act in a certain way. Be pleasantly surprised by positive interactions, instead of being disappointed by negative ones.
- Find a trustworthy person to confide in fears and insecurities. Make sure he can listen and advise you without letting his problems interfere.
- When dealing with others, indulge yourself without thinking you will receive something in return. Sometimes your commitment will pay off, other times it won't. Regardless, what results from your actions will allow you to develop the skills and attitude needed to keep important relationships alive.
Step 7. Do what you love and love what you do
One of the simplest ways to cultivate a passion is to focus on the things you already love or that are of strong interest. By doing what you enjoy daily, you will almost certainly love your everyday life.
- Look at the habits and interests you have and see if you can profit from them in some way.
- Develop your strengths. Everyone has natural gifts in a certain area. If you're not sure where to start, start with one of your strengths and build from there. It may not be a "love" per se, but it may become one or point you in the right direction.
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Move the First Steps Forward
Step 1. Make a list of the things you need to "stop doing"
Many people do things they think they should do instead of what they want. Often, the things you think you have to do aren't necessary either. Take the time to sit down and make a list of everything you "should" do that isn't really necessary or convenient.
- To understand what you need to stop doing, ask yourself what drains your enthusiasm, preventing you from achieving your goals. Among these things, ask yourself honestly which ones are necessary and which are made only to satisfy a misplaced sense of duty.
- Make sure the things you need to "stop doing" correspond to real problems. For example, you may think that you are unhappy with your marriage when, in reality, you are frustrated with work and allow this dissatisfaction to penetrate other areas of your life.
Step 2. Focus on the "you can achieve" goals first
If a big goal may seem daunting, break it down into smaller pieces. There is most likely at least one part that you can commit to making your dream come true. Find out what it is and get to work.
For example, if you want to start a new business, you can take the first step by opening a blog and various social media accounts to promote it. Once you have something more tangible, it will be easier to research what you need to do before reaching the next milestone
Step 3. Help people with similar problems
Finding the solution to your problems can be difficult, because it is impossible to objectively see things from the inside. On the other hand, helping someone solve their problems can allow you to become a realistic observer. Therefore, you can take what you have learned by helping others and apply it to your own case.
Step 4. Take a trip
Often, changing scenery can transform your whole outlook on life. If you're having a hard time taking the first steps because you're stuck in your daily routine, switch things up by taking a little trip.
- By traveling, you will force yourself to think about the present, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
- You can also put this advice into practice by following a seminar, conference, or event related to a new career or interest you wish to cultivate.
Step 5. Try something new
Another way to change your daily routine and get back on track is to try things you've never done before. They don't need to be incredibly exciting and daring, but they need to be relevant to something that interests you, even if they just take you out of your comfort zone.
