Without your parents' trust, you may find yourself spending many Saturday nights locked up indoors while your friends are out partying. Maybe you have been dishonest with them in the past or maybe they are just very strict. Either way, you are probably eager to build trust so that they see you as a mature person. You can earn your parents' trust by communicating truthfully, respecting their rules and accepting your responsibilities.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communicating with Your Parents
Step 1. Be honest
Being dishonest with your parents will only make them lose faith in you. If you have done something wrong, fix the problem as quickly as possible. This will help your parents understand that if they trust you, they will be warned as soon as you make a mistake or need help. If you make a mistake, tell them what you want to do to fix it. Don't keep secrets from them, but be open to build trust.
- For example, if you recently received a speeding ticket, tell your parents immediately. You don't have to risk them finding out in other ways.
- You can say, "I'm so sorry, but I got a speeding ticket on my way home today. I didn't notice how fast I was going and I apologize. I understand if you think I should be punished."
- He continues: "In the future I will be very careful not to go too fast and will even try to drive below the limit."
- Be honest, even when you haven't made a mistake. Communicating your thoughts and feelings can help build a bond of trust between you and your parents.
Step 2. Listen to what your parents have to say
Remember that your parents have valuable opinions, just like you do. Tell your parents that you want to listen to their advice in certain situations. Consider what they say and remember that both yours and their opinions should be heard in your conversations.
- For example, even when your parents are giving you a long lecture, don't use the phone or get distracted. Focus on their words and then apply their advice.
- Practice active listening, reflecting on what you are hearing and confirming what they are saying. This will help them know that you are involved in the discussion.
- At the end of the conversation, thank them for their help and advice.
Step 3. Tell them what is happening in your life
Encourage your family to have dinner together every night. Keep them updated on everything that happens to you. It's not the best if a teacher or another adult approaches them with information about you they don't know, especially if it's not good news.
You could say something like, "My algebra exam went pretty well today, but I was hoping to do better. I'm a little sorry I only got 7 and not a higher grade."
Step 4. Tell them you want to gain their trust
If you've recently done something that has broken your parents' trust in you, ask them to sit down and talk. Tell them that you are ashamed of what you did but that you want to fix things. Ask if there are specific ways you can fix it. Show humility, work hard to find solutions and respect their rules.
You can say, "Dad, I'm really sorry for breaking the curfew. There is no excuse for me being late, especially since you already made an exception. I know I'm in detention right now, but when it's over I promise to always be. punctual. I want you to take my word for it."
Part 2 of 3: Follow Their Rules
Step 1. Go beyond their expectations
Whether or not you have broken your parents' trust, instead of reluctantly following the rules, exceed their expectations. Is your curfew at 10pm? Get home by 9:45 am. Should you wash the dishes tonight? Sweep the floor too. Let your parents know that you respect them and their rules.
- If you behave exceptionally today, you are more likely to leave you more leeway tomorrow.
- Be consistent when you go beyond their expectations, so they don't think you're just trying to get something.
Step 2. Always answer when they call or text you
When your parents call or text you, respond immediately. Don't ignore them unless you're in class or at work. Your parents should be able to count on your prompt response when they look for you.
- Make sure you do this especially if your parents are paying for your cell phone bills.
- You never know if it's an emergency, so be sure to respond in case they need you.
- The more often you answer immediately, the less they will call or text! Call or write them spontaneously to achieve a similar effect.
Step 3. Do what they ask you to do
Sometimes, your parents may ask you to do some annoying tasks, like mowing the lawn or making dinner. However, do whatever they ask of you with a positive attitude and as quickly as possible. Your parents probably do a lot for you, so the least you can do is return the favor with a smile on their face.
If your parents ask you for something you don't want or can't do, try proposing a change. Be explicit and present an alternative, but accept their decision if they disagree with you
Step 4. Be where you say you will be
If you tell your mom you'll be at the mall, don't go to your sweetheart's house instead. You must always tell the truth. You never know: they may show up at the mall to surprise you and discover your lies. Always be honest with them about where you are.
If you go somewhere else, let them know, even if you think it's not important
Step 5. Be conscientious on social media
Trust is earned in all areas of life, including social media. Post things your family won't be ashamed to see. If you know that your mother doesn't want you to post photos that are too risque, don't post a picture of your new bikini on.
If your dad doesn't want you to talk to strangers, set up your account so only friends can text you. Use your accounts wisely
Step 6. Do the housework and do your homework without being told
If you know you have homework to finish, do it before your parents come home so they don't have to remind you. If it's your turn to make dinner tonight, do it without them having to call you to check. The more reliable you are in small things, the more your parents will trust you in the important ones.
Start developing your reminder system. Set up alerts on your phone, keep a calendar, use post-its or something else! Find a system that works for you
Part 3 of 3: Being Responsible
Step 1. Apologize if you make a mistake
When you break a rule, immediately tell your parents that you are sorry. Recognizing your mistakes is a sign of maturity and your parents will notice. Avoid making excuses and be honest. Don't make them come to you looking for your excuses: you take the first step.
- You can say, "Mom, I'm really sorry for breaking the lamp. I know it can't be fixed, but I can save the money to buy a new one."
- Accepting responsibility is a great way to show your parents that you are a mature person.
Step 2. Make amends for your mistakes
When you fail, do everything in your power to make up for it. This will show your parents that you want to do things right. Show them your commitment to doing the right thing and they will trust you.
For example, if you forgot to clean your room and your dad got angry, do it immediately. Exceed your parents' expectations. Maintain this behavior without being repeated to you
Step 3. Perform extra tasks
Earn the trust of your parents by asking them to give you more responsibility within the home. Each passing year should bring with it a new set of expectations. Offer to babysit your younger siblings so your parents can go out for dinner every now and then. Wash your household cars on Saturdays so they have more time to relax. Find a part-time job so you don't always have to ask for money.
Step 4. Set high standards for yourself
If your family sees that you are sensible and generally do the right thing, their trust in you will increase. Work hard to make sure you excel in every area of your life. Pay attention in class and study so that you do well in school. Get to work on time every day and perform your duties to the best of your ability.
Maintain good relationships with other people to show your family that you are mature and able to resolve conflicts
Step 5. Spend more time with positive people
One way to make sure your parents trust you is to choose your dates wisely. If you are hanging out with toxic, negative, mean people, or people who get into trouble often, your parents may be afraid that you are taking a bad turn. Show them that you value people well by choosing good friends.
