A divorce can be difficult, but there are things you can do to make it less difficult and have a chance to get the best possible solutions. Anger, grief, sadness, confusion, frustration and resentment are very real and legitimate emotions during a divorce proceeding. Getting stuck in these emotions (or being inadvertently carried over to them by the infinite events of the day) can completely weaken the ability to reason and make decisions. These emotions can also rob you of your future happiness. Humor and a smile can increase the chances of success in your divorce case.
Steps
Step 1. Take care of yourself
You may have heard this phrase before, but never really followed it, thinking it would involve a lot of time and money (e.g. starting a new exercise program, a new diet, more rest, etc.). But taking care of yourself can be very simple - for example, just laughing more can make you feel better. Laughter improves mental, emotional and physiological well-being.
Step 2. Use your new well-being to your advantage
Have a wonderful evening with your children, or maintain your sanity and peace of mind while your spouse tries to get nervous, or try to get a better deal on divorce settlement, or spare an expensive phone call to your lawyer who you would do it just to let off steam. One thing is certain - nothing bad will come from your new well-being.
Step 3. Remember that marriage is not the only important thing in life
Even if your life revolved around it, you still remain a human being with value and purpose on this earth. You deserve to love and be loved. This is a difficult time, but you will be able to overcome it and you will find a better tomorrow.
Step 4. Tell yourself that life always goes on, with or without marriage
Your hurt feelings are temporary and can be overcome, even if now you feel like the foundations of your life have been crumbled. The pain you are experiencing is absolutely legitimate. However, try to think about when you will be happy again in a fulfilling relationship. All this pain will be far away..
Step 5. Go ahead
.. set new goals, learn new things, console yourself. Don't despise yourself. If your spouse left you, he may have told you that it was you who pushed him this far with what you have or have not done. Even if relationships are dynamic and live on the words and actions of the partners involved, don't feel like you were the one who destroyed this relationship. Getting a divorce was a conscious decision by your spouse. If you feel guilty, think back to the events that led to the separation. Did your spouse try to save your relationship? Have you tried? Was divorce really a last resort or did your spouse just go the easy way? If you need to get angry, get angry and work on it. But don't hurt yourself or others.
Step 6. Be aware of your strength
It doesn't matter what others suggest to you; in the end, you are the one who has to go through the divorce. And you can do it.
Step 7. Look for new activities to follow
Do you have any special hobbies or are there any new activities you would like to explore? This is the right time to participate in something that distracts your mind from the difficult time you are going through and gives you a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Another idea you can consider is volunteering - helping others is often a great way to distract yourself from your pain.
Advice
- Don't let your spouse's anger or divorce sadness get you down. Regardless of how your spouse decides to deal with it, you still come first. So focus on yourself, and do everything in your power to make it through this painful process.
- Go at your own pace. If your divorce is already hell, and you can only afford one giggle a week, start there. If your divorce lawsuit hasn't started yet, but your marriage has been hell for some time, then you can try 5 minutes of funny comedy a night.
- Work to be comfortable with yourself. Love yourself. You will always be your own faithful friend. Smile in the mirror every morning and every night. Tell yourself "I like you" every day as you look in the mirror. Until you are comfortable with yourself, alone, you will never be able to join another person in a pair of compatible and complementary people.
